85 Clean Halloween Jokes for Kids

Halloween is supposed to be fun and we’re here to make sure you have something to make the kids laugh. Check out this collection of funny, clean Halloween jokes that you should have nothing to worry about sharing.

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We suggest reading through these jokes first, just in case.

We think all of these jokes are safe for kids aged 8+ and pretty safe for kids as young as 6. Most are fairly safe for kids as young as 5, but they might not understand some of them. Topics include ghosts, witches, vampires and skeletons.

What can you do with all of these Halloween jokes?

Here are some fun ideas:

  • Put a joke in your child’s lunch box every day. If you also pack them a snack, then put a joke with that, too.
  • Have a joke scavenger hunt. Write jokes on small pieces of paper and tape them to the objects listed on the scavenger hunt list.
  • Tell the jokes to trick or treaters at your door — you can even give an extra piece of candy to them if they get the answer correct.
  • If you’re having a party, have the children take turns telling a joke to the group — it can be hilarious watching kids tell jokes!
  • Make fortune cookies and put a joke in each one on a little piece of paper.

halloween-fortune-cookie

 

As promised, here are 85 fun, clean Halloween jokes for children — that’s right, 85 chances for you to be totally awesome by making kids laugh.

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the prom alone?
A: Because he couldn’t find any “body” to go with.

Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling.

Q: Which musical instrument do skeletons play?
A: Trom-Bone

Q: What song do vampires hate?
A: “You Are My Sunshine”

Q: What type of monster loves dance music?
A: The boogieman

Q: What do skeletons order at restaurants?
A: Spare ribs

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite fruit?
A: Booberries.

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite desert?
A: Boo-berry pie.

Q: What do you call a spirit who gets too close to a camp fire?
A: A toasty ghosty.

Q: What kind of makeup do witches wear?
A: Mas-scare-a

Q: When does a ghost eat breakfast?
A: In the moaning.

Q: What do Italian ghosts eat for dinner?
A: Spookgetti

Q: Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he was always goblin’.

Q: What tops off a monster’s ice cream sundae?
A: Whipped scream.

Q: What do spirits send their friends while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards

Q: Which of the witch’s friends was good at baseball?
A: The bat.

Q: Which ghost lives in Town Hall?
A: The night-mayor.

Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
A: An itchy witchy.

Q: What was the mummy musician’s favorite note?
A: The dead sea

Q: Where do ghosts buy their milk and eggs?
A: At the ghost-ery store

Q: What do you call a cold, evil candle ?
A: The wicked wick of the north.

Q: Why did the traveling witch throw up?
A: She was broom sick .

Q: Why did Ichabod Crane stop on the road?
A: The street sign said stop ahead.

Q: Where do spirits go to send their mail?
A: The ghost office.

Q: How do you fix a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch

Q: When do skeletons laugh?
A: When something tickles their funny bones.

Q: Why did the police officer arrest the ghost?
A: Because he didn’t have a haunting license.

Q: Why do witches ride on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too expensive.

Q: Where do ghosts like to water ski?
A: Lake Erie

Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo.

Q: Why did the vampire like baseball?
A: Every night he got to turn into a bat.

Q: What do ghosts eat for lunch?
A: Boo-logna sandwiches

Q: What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day?
A: A lazy bone.

Q: What do witches put in their hair?
A: Scare spray

Q: What kind of mistakes do spirits make?
A: Boo-boos

Q: Why was the vampire artist so famous?
A: Because he was great at drawing blood.

Q: What city do most werewolves live?
A: Howllywood, California

Q: Why do witches ride brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaner’s have short cords.

Q: Which type of tree do ghost like most?
A: Ceme-trees.

More Jokes Continue Below

Q: Which room do ghost houses never have?
A: The living room.

Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and says quack-quack?
A: Count Duckula

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite candy?
A: Suckers

Q: What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?
A: Twick or Tweet

Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coffin.

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
A: Frostbite.

Q: How do monsters tell their future?
A: They read their horror-scope.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the prom?
A: He had no body to dance with.

Q: What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A: A boo-tie.

Q: Which building did the vampire visit in New York?
A: The Vampire State Building.

Q: Which amusement park ride do ghosts like the most?
A: Roller ghosters.

Q: How do ghosts like their coffee?
A: Dark with extra scream.

Q: What do you call a witch in the desert?
A: The Sandwich.

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
A: Ice-Scream.

Q: What’s the problem with twin witches?
A: You never know which witch is which!

Q: Where do ghosts like to swim?
A: The Dead sea.

Q: Why can’t you see a ghost’s mom and dad?
A: Because they’re transparents.

Q: Why don’t people like vampires?
A: He have bat tempers.

Q: Why did Ichabod Crane go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.

Q: What kind of music do ghosts listen to?
A: Spiritual music.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He has no guts.

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend

Q: What was the ghosts favorite book?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton like to fly?
A: He had no guts

Q: What do you call witches that live together?
A: Broom mates.

Q: What happened to the witch with the upside-down nose?
A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

Q: What’s the first thing witches do in the morning?
A: They wake up.

Q: What do monkey ghosts like to eat?
A: Boonanas

Q. How does a witch tell the time?
A. With her witch-watch.

Q: What do goblins drink when they’re hot and thirsty?
A: Ghoul-aid

Q: What is a monster’s favorite snack food?
A: Ghoul scout cookies

Q: What kind of roads do spirits haunt?
A: Dead Ends

Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

Q: Where do vampire students eat their lunch?
A: In the casketeria.

Q: Where do most monsters live?
A: North and South Scare-olina

Q: Who was the most famous ghost detective?
A: Sherlock Moans

Q: Where do baby ghosts stay during the day?
A: Day-scare

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which sport do vampires like to play the most?
A: Bat-minton.

Q: Why can’t skeleton musicians perform at church?
A: Because they have no organs.

Q: How can you make a witch itch?
A: Take out the W.

Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body.

Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit.

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A: A blood hound.

Q: Where position did the goblin play in soccer?
A: Ghoul-ie

Q: What was the ghost’s favorite party game?
A: Hide-and-go-shriek

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