Halloween Jokes for Kids

Halloween is supposed to be fun and we’re here to make sure you have something to make the kids laugh. Check out this collection of funny, clean Halloween jokes that you should have nothing to worry about sharing.

These are Halloween jokes though, so you may want to read through them first – just in case.

We think all of these jokes are safe for kids aged 7+ and pretty safe for even younger kids, but they might not understand some of them. Topics include ghosts, witches, vampires and skeletons, so keep that in mind.

What can you do with all of these Halloween jokes?

Here are some fun ideas:

  • Put a joke in your child’s lunch box every day. If you also pack them a snack, then put a joke with that, too.
  • Have a joke scavenger hunt. Write jokes on small pieces of paper and tape them to the objects listed on the scavenger hunt list.
  • Tell the jokes to trick or treaters at your door — you can even give an extra piece of candy to them if they get the answer correct.
  • If you’re having a party, have the children take turns telling a joke to the group — it can be hilarious watching kids tell jokes!
  • Make fortune cookies and put a joke in each one on a little piece of paper.

Here are 150+ fun, clean Halloween jokes for children — that’s right, over 150 chances for you to be totally awesome by making kids laugh.

halloween-fortune-cookie

One last thing – In addition to the Halloween jokes on this page, we have THOUSANDS more broken down into categories on our Halloween Jokes for Kids page. Our Halloween Joke Collections include Broomstick Jokes; Black Cat Jokes; Ghost Jokes; Ghoul Jokes; Frankenstein Jokes; Bat Jokes; Mummy Jokes; Demon Jokes; Scarecrow Jokes; skeleton jokes; Spider Jokes; Jack o’ Lantern Jokes; Werewolf Jokes; Zombie jokes and more. So, for example, if you have a scarecrow or witch in your house this year, you can tell jokes just about them.

Funny Halloween Jokes for Kids

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the prom alone?
A: Because he couldn’t find any “body” to go with.

Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which musical instrument do skeletons play?
A: Trom-Bone

Q: Where do ghosts use their boats?
A: The Eerie Canal.

Q: What song do vampires hate?
A: “You Are My Sunshine”

Q: What type of monster loves dance music?
A: The boogieman

Q: What do skeletons order at restaurants?
A: Spare ribs

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite fruit?
A: Booberries.

Q: Who are cousins of the werewolf?
A: What-wolf and When-wolf

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite body of water?
A: Lake Eerie.

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite desert?
A: Boo-berry pie.

Q: What do you call a spirit who gets too close to a camp fire?
A: A toasty ghosty.

Q: Where do werewolves store their things?
A: In a were-house

Q: What kind of makeup do witches wear?
A: Mas-scare-a

Q: When does a ghost eat breakfast?
A: In the moaning.

Q: What do werewolves read to their children before bed?
A: Hairy tails

Q: What do Italian ghosts eat for dinner?
A: Spookgetti

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Q: Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he was always goblin’.

Q: What tops off a monster’s ice cream sundae?
A: Whipped scream.

Q: What do spirits send their friends while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards

Q: What do the grow in the Halloweenland garden?
A: Zombeets.

Q: Which of the witch’s friends was good at baseball?
A: The bat.

Q: Which ghost lives in Town Hall?
A: The night-mayor.

Q: What do they use to clean the ice during the Halloweenland hockey game?
A: A Zombieoni

Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
A: An itchy witchy.

Q: What was the mummy musician’s favorite note?
A: The dead sea

Q: Where do ghosts buy their milk and eggs?
A: At the ghost-ery store

Q: What do you call a cold, evil candle ?
A: The wicked wick of the north.

Q: Why did the traveling witch throw up?
A: She was broom sick .

Q: Why did Ichabod Crane stop on the road?
A: The street sign said stop ahead.

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Q: Where do spirits go to send their mail?
A: The ghost office.

Q: How do you fix a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch

Q: When do skeletons laugh?
A: When something tickles their funny bones.

Q: Why did the police officer arrest the ghost?
A: Because he didn’t have a haunting license.

Q: Why do witches ride on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too expensive.

Q: Where do ghosts like to water ski?
A: Lake Erie

Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo.

Q: Why did the vampire like baseball?
A: Every night he got to turn into a bat.

Q: What do ghosts eat for lunch?
A: Boo-logna sandwiches

Q: What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day?
A: A lazy bone.

Q: What do witches put in their hair?
A: Scare spray

Q: What kind of mistakes do spirits make?
A: Boo-boos

Q: Why was the vampire artist so famous?
A: Because he was great at drawing blood.

Q: What city do most werewolves live?
A: Howllywood, California

Q: Why do witches ride brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaner’s have short cords.

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Q: Which type of tree do ghost like most?
A: Ceme-trees.

Q: Which room do ghost houses never have?
A: The living room.

Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and says quack-quack?
A: Count Duckula

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite candy?
A: Suckers

Q: What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?
A: Twick or Tweet

Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coffin.

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
A: Frostbite.

Q: How do monsters tell their future?
A: They read their horror-scope.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the prom?
A: He had no body to dance with.

Q: What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A: A boo-tie.

Q: Which building did the vampire visit in New York?
A: The Vampire State Building.

Q: Which amusement park ride do ghosts like the most?
A: Roller ghosters.

Q: How do ghosts like their coffee?
A: Dark with extra scream.

Q: What do you call a witch in the desert?
A: The Sandwich.

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
A: Ice-Scream.

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Q: What’s the problem with twin witches?
A: You never know which witch is which!

Q: Where do ghosts like to swim?
A: The Dead sea.

Q: Why can’t you see a ghost’s mom and dad?
A: Because they’re transparents.

Q: Why don’t people like vampires?
A: He have bat tempers.

Q: Why did Ichabod Crane go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.

Q: What kind of music do ghosts listen to?
A: Spiritual music.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He has no guts.

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend

Q: What was the ghosts favorite book?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton like to fly?
A: He had no guts

Q: What do you call witches that live together?
A: Broom mates.

Q: What happened to the witch with the upside-down nose?
A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

Q: What’s the first thing witches do in the morning?
A: They wake up.

Q: What do monkey ghosts like to eat?
A: Boonanas

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Q. How does a witch tell the time?
A. With her witch-watch.

Q: What do goblins drink when they’re hot and thirsty?
A: Ghoul-aid

Q: What is a monster’s favorite snack food?
A: Ghoul scout cookies

Q: What kind of roads do spirits haunt?
A: Dead Ends

Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

Q: Where do vampire students eat their lunch?
A: In the casketeria.

Q: Where do most monsters live?
A: North and South Scare-olina

Q: Who was the most famous ghost detective?
A: Sherlock Moans

Q: Where do baby ghosts stay during the day?
A: Day-scare

Q: Which sport do vampires like to play the most?
A: Bat-minton.

Q: Why can’t skeleton musicians perform at church?
A: Because they have no organs.

Q: How can you make a witch itch?
A: Take out the W.

Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body.

Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit.

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A: A blood hound.

Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Where position did the goblin play in soccer?
A: Ghoul-ie

Q: What was the ghost’s favorite party game?
A: Hide-and-go-shriek

Q: What type of dogs do zombies like the most?
A: Bloodhounds.

Q: When do you see the most zombies?
A: Halloween.

Q: What does it take to become a zombie?
A: Deadication.

Q: Why did the zombie quit his teaching job?
A: He only had one pupil left.

Q: What do you get when you cross a zombie and a snowman?
A: Frost-Bite.

Q: What do you call zombie twins?
A: DEAD ringers.

Q: What do zombies read every morning?
A: Their HORRORscope.

Q: Who did the zombie take out on a date?
A: His Ghoul-friend.

Q: What time do zombies wake up in the morning?
A: Ate o’clock.

Q: Who do Cowboy zombies fight?
A: The DEADskins.

Q: Do zombies eat brains with their fingers?
A: Nope – they eat the fingers separately.

Q: What does a zombie get when he’s late for dinner?
A: The cold shoulder.

Q: In what way are zombies like computers?
A: They both use megabites.

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Q: Where do zombies go to vacation?
A: The DEADiterranean.

Q: Who won the zombie race?
A: Nobody – it was a dead heat.

Q: What was the zombie’s favorite toy?
A: His Deady bear.

Q: How do zombies keep their hair in place?
A: They use SCARE spray.

Q: What kind of candy do zombies hate most?
A: Life Savers.

Q: What kind of car do zombies drive?
A: Monster trucks.

Q: What did one zombie say after eating a comedian?
A: This tastes funny.

Q: Why did the Zombie join the army?
A: He heard they give out arms.

Q: Why didn’t the zombie get the acting role?
A: They wanted someone more lively.

Q: What is black, white & dead all over?
A: A zombie penguin.

Q: Why did the zombie comedian get booed off the stage?
A: Because all the jokes he told where rotten.

Q: Why did the zombie go nuts?
A: He lost his mind.

Q: What is the safest place to be during a zombie attack?
A: A living room.

Q: Do zombies eat french fries with their fingers?
A: Nope, they eat the fingers separately.

Q: How can you tell if a zombie is tired?
A: He’s just dead on his feet.

Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What has 1854 bones and catches flies?
A: A skeleton baseball team.

Q: Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
A: Sherlock Bones.

Q: Why did the skeleton run up the tree?
A: A dog wanted to eat it’s bones.

Q: What was the skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A: The trom-bone.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?
A: Lazy bones.

Q: What did the French skeleton call his friend?
A: Bone ami.

Q: What song do skeleton bikers ride to?
A: Bone to be wild.

Q: Which baseball team do skeletons like most?
A: Pittsburgh Pirates

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Q: Who was the skeleton’s favorite Star Trek character?
A: Bones McCoy

Q: How did skeletons send mail in the old days?
A: The bony express

Q: Why can’t skeletons be the church musician?
A: They don’t have any organs.

Q: Who is the most famous French skeleton?
A: Napoleon bone-apart..

Q: What do you call a skeleton who stays out in the snow too long?
A: A numbskull.

Q: What song do skeleton crooks listen to after a heist?
A: Bad to the Bone.

Q: Why do skeletons hate winter?
A: The cold goes right through them.

Q: What do skeletons use to clean the sink?
A: Bone-ami.

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the mechanic?
A: For body work.

Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
A: It could feel it in it’s bones

Q: Where did the skeleton go to fix it’s broken rib?
A: A spare rib restaurant

Q: What was the skeletons favorite rock band?
A: The Grateful Dead.

Q: How do skeletons contact other skeletons?
A: They use a telebone.

Q: What do you call a foolish skeleton?
A: Bonehead

Q: Why did the skeleton student go to the library?
A: He was boning up for his exams.

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Q: How did the skeleton know it was a rainy day?
A: He could feel it on his bones

Q: What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
A: You suck.

Q: What kind of plate do skeletons eat on?
A: Bone china.

Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton sky dive?
A: He didn’t have the guts.

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
A: To see the boogie man.

Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When someone tickles it’s funny bone.

Q: What happened to the pirate ship that sank at sea?
A: It came back with a skeleton crew.

Q: How do skeletons say hello?
A: Bonejour

Q: Why do skeletons like to drink milk?
A: Milk is good for your bones.

Q: What do skeletons say as they head out to sea?
A: Bone voyage!

Q: What do you call a silly skeleton?
A: A numbskull.

Q: Where do skeletons eat when they visit the mall?
A: Cinnabone.

Q: Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
A: They couldn’t pin anything on him.

Q: Which football team do skeletons like most?
A: Tampa Bay Bucaneers.

Q: What do old skeletons complain about?
A: Aching bones.

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Q: When do skeletons smile?
A: When something tickles it’s funny bone.

Q: How did the skeleton know another skeleton was lying?
A: It could see right through him.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who uses a door bell?
A: A dead ringer.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: He had no body to dance with.

Q: What do skeleton baseball players do when they’re at bat?
A: They bont (bunt)

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie?
A: He didn’t have the guts.

Q: What do skeletons say before they begin eating?
A: Bone appetite.

Q: What does a skeleton say when it gets angry with someone?
A: I’ve got a bone to pick with you.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton eat spicy food?
A: He didn’t have the stomach for it.

Q: What do monsters use to get into their castles?
A: Skeleton keys.

Q: What do skeletons order at restaurants?
A: Spare ribs

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to play baseball?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.

Q: What Jersey rock band do skeletons like most?
A: Bone Jovi.

Q: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A: A rattler.

Q: Why are skeletons so relaxed?
A: Nothing gets under their skin.

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Q: Why did the skeleton go to hospital?
A: To have his ghoul bladder removed.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who always tells lies?
A: A boney phoney.

Q: What type of artist was the skeleton?
A: A skullptor.

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.

Q: How did the tiny Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
A: Terrier-fied.

Q: What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A: A hot dog.

Q: What do you call a werewolf that uses bad language?
A: A swearwolf

Q: Why don’t werewolves make good dancers?
A: They have two left feet.

Q: What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A: A bud hound

Q: How do you make a werewolf laugh?
A: Give it a funny bone.

Q: What happens when you cross a werewolf with a cat?
A: You have to get a new cat.

Q: What did the wolfman say when he met his new neighbor?
A: Hey, howl are you?

Q: Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A: A re-tail store.

Q: What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A: A dingo-ling

Q: What time is it when a werewolf sees your dinner?
A: Time to get a new dinner.

Q: What is a werewolf’s favorite band?
A: Meatloaf.

Q: What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
A: Ruff.

Q: What do you call a lycanthrope who gets lost?
A: A where-wolf.

Q: What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A: A pupsicle.

Q: Why did the poor dog chase his tail?
A: He was trying to make ends meet.

Q: Why did the monster name his werewolf “Frost”?
A: Because Frost-bites.

Q: What did the cowboy say when the werewolf ate his dog?
A: Doggone.

Q: What happened to the wolf who fell into the dishwasher?
A: He became a wash and werewolf.

Q: How do you prevent a werewolf from attacking you?
A: Throw a stick and yell fetch.

Q: How do you know that a werewolf has been in your fridge?
A: There are paw prints in the butter.

Q: What happened when the werewolf went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show.

Q: How do you make a werewolf stew?
A: Keep him waiting.

Q: How does a werewolf eat ice cream?
A: With it’s mouth like everyone else.

Q: What did the werewolf say to his friend who missed school?
A: Howl are you?

Q: What was the werewolf in the butcher’s shop arrested for?
A: Chop-lifting.

Q: What do you call a dentist who cleans a werewolf’s teeth?
A: Dinner.

Q: What did the waiter say to the werewolf?
A: bone-appetit!

Q: What do you call a cold werewolf?
A: A Chilli Dog.

Q: Why was the werewolf upset with the skeleton?
A: He had a bone to pick with him.

Q: What time is it when ten werewolf chase someone?
A: 10 After 1.

Q: Where do werewolves sit?
A: Anywhere they want.

Q: How do werewolves stop a dvd?
A: They press the paws button.

Q: What type of markets do werewolves avoid?
A: Flea markets.

Q: What’s more amazing than a talking werewolf?
A: A spelling bee.

Q: What do you call a beast at the full-moon who wears clothes?
A: A wear-wolf.

Q: What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A: A monster with a sense of humor.

Q: What do werewolf like for breakfast?
A: Pooched eggs.

Q: What did the werewolf say to the flea?
A: Stop bugging me.

Q: What do you call a dog that meditates?
A: Aware wolf.

Q: How did the little dog feel when it saw a werewolf?
A: Terrier-fied.

Q: What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
A: He got ticks.

View Our Entire Collection of Halloween Jokes

These are only some of our Halloween jokes! We have thousands more broken down into categories on our Halloween Jokes for Kids page, along with entire collections of Broomstick Jokes; Black Cat Jokes; Ghost Jokes; Ghoul Jokes; Frankenstein Jokes; Bat Jokes; Mummy Jokes; Demon Jokes; Scarecrow Jokes; skeleton jokes; Spider Jokes; Jack o’ Lantern Jokes; Werewolf Jokes; Zombie jokes and more.