Back to School Jokes

Looking for funny back to school jokes for the first day of school for kids?

This collection of back to school jokes are perfect for those final days of summer vacation and early days of the school year.

Share them at a meal. Tell some on the way to school orientation or open house. Put them in a lunch box, slip them into a pocket or write on a Post-It note and stick inside a notebook or on a mirror.

These school jokes are great for everyone getting back into the school routine, including teachers, coaches, gym teachers, parents and kids of all ages. They are clean and safe for everyone!

When you’re done here, you can also visit these school-related pages: Jokes about School, Math Jokes, and History Jokes.

Jokes for the First Day of School

Q: On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?
A: June, July & August.

Q: What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
A: Square meals

Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi

Q. What U.S. state has the most math teachers?
A. Mathachussets.

Q. Why did the boy go to school with his pants tucked into his socks?
A. To protect himself from mathema-ticks.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which class was the caterpillar excited about on his first day in school?
A: Mothematics.

Q. What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tree?
A. Arithma-sticks.

Q: What room can a student never enter?
A: A Mushroom.

Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed on the first day of school?
A: She couldn’t control her pupils.

Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?
A: Because they’re all in High School.

Q: Why did the kindergartener bring a spoon to his first day of school?
A: He thought it was sundae school.

Q: Why did the teacher write the class rules on the windows?
A: She wanted it to be very clear for her students.

Q: Who is everyone’s best friend on the first day of school?
A: Their princi-PAL.

Q: Why did the Cyclops teacher have such an easy first day of school?
A: He only had one pupil.

Q: Which grade school children have the greenest thumbs?
A: The kindergardeners.

Q: What flies around grade school at night?
A: The alpha-bat.

Q: What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
A: The first says “Spit out that bubble gum” and the second says “chew chew.”

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?
A: A blackboard.

Q: Which school supply is always tired?
A: A knapsack.

Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school.
Student: Yes, but I didn’t miss it that much.

Q: Why did the girl wear glasses during math class?
A: To improve her di-vison.

Q: Why did the math book look so sad when school started again?
A: Because it had so many problems..

Q. Why was the obtuse angle so upset at school?
A: Because it was never right.

Q. What did the algebra book say to the science book?
A: Boy, do I have problems!

Q. What did the math book say to the history book?
A: You know you can count on me.

Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite season?
A: Sum-mer.

Q. Why wouldn’t the teacher allow her students to say 288 in class?
A: Because it’s two gross. (Hint: 144 is called a gross)

Q. Why was the geometry book so adorable?
A: Because it had acute angles.

Q. What did the calculator say to the girl on the first day of school?
A: Pick me and I’ll solve all your problems!

Q: What do you get when you add 4 apples and 2 apples?
A: A 2nd grade math problem.

Q. What did the girl say to her math book?
A: Some day, you’re going to have to solve your own problems.

Q. Why is glue bad at Math?
A: It always gets stuck on the problems.

Q. What’s treat do math teachers in Maine bring to the first day of class?
A: Whoopie Pi’s.

Q. What tool did the boy bring to his first math class?
A: Multi-plyers.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a calculator?
A: Someone you can always count on.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why didn’t the boy want to go to public school?
A: He wanted to go to Sundae school instead – because of all the ice cream!

Q. Why did the echo get detention on the first day of school?
A: It kept answering back.

Q. What did the student say when his teacher asked him to pay a little attention on the first day of school?
A: But I’m paying as little attention as I can!

Q: How can you make the first day of school fly by?
A: Throw a clock!

Q: Where did the sheep say they went for summer vacation?
A: The Baa-hamas

Q. Who was in charge of the school during summer vacation?
A. The rulers.

Q: What did the lobster do when the first day of school ended?
A: It shellabrated.

Q. Why did the warlock way he had so much trouble with math?
A: He never knew WITCH equation to use.

Q: What do they do on the first day of sheep school?
A: Have a baa-baa-cue.

Q: Why was the school cafeteria clock behind on the first day of school?
A: It went back four seconds.

Q. Why was the snake upset when math class ended?
A: He was an Adder!

Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to the first day of school?
A: She heard her new students were bright.

Q: What should elves know before the first day of 1st grade?
A: The elf-abet.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Justin who?
Just in time for the first day of school.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Noah who?
Noah more summer – it’s time for school!

Make sure you visit some of our other school-related pages: Jokes about School, Math Jokes, History Jokes, Summer Jokes and Beach Jokes.

Halloween Jokes on your Phone or Device

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