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School

Q: What has 3 feet and no legs?
A: A yardstick.

Q: What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?
A: A blackboard.

Q: Why did the teacher jump into the pond?
A: To test the waters.

Teacher: Why is your homework in your father’s handwriting?
Student: I used his pen.

Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: But I’m paying as little attention as I can.

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Cats

Q: What is a cat's favorite brand of car?
A: The Catillac.

Q: What do you call a loving cat bite?
A: A cat nip

Q: Why did the cat eat a plate of cheese?
A: So he could wait by the mouse hole with baited breath.

Q: What do you call a cat that sucked on a lemon?
A: A sour puss

Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a canary?
A: Shredded tweet

Q: What did the mouse say when the cat grabbed his tail?
A: That's the end of me.

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Dinosaurs

Q: What makes more noise than a dinosaur?
A: Two dinosaurs!

Q: What does a triceratops sit on?
It's tricera-bottom

Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A: A dino-snore

Q: Why did the Ankylosaurus catch the worm?
A: Because it was an early bird

Q: What is a T. Rex's favorite number?
A: Eight (ate!)

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