Penguin Jokes

If you’re looking for a great collection of jokes about penguins, then you’ve found it!

These funny penguin jokes sure can come in handy for parents, teachers and zoo keepers – and they are safe for children of all ages.

On the way to the zoo with your kids – or your students? Stock up on penguin jokes and have a good time.

Penguin Jokes

Q: Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
A: Because they’re afraid of Wales.

Q: Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A: A re-tail store.

Q: Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
A: The outside.

Q: What is even smarter than a talking penguin?
A: A spelling bee.

Q: What do you call a cold penguin?
A: A Brrr-d.

Q: Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
A: Admiral Byrd.

Daughter: Mum, can I have a penguin for Christmas?
Mother: NO! You’ll have turkey like everyone else.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why are penguins good race drivers?
A: Because they’re always in the pole position.

Q: What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
A: Iceberg lettuce.

Q: What does an evil penguin lay?
A: Deviled eggs.

Q: Why did the penguin cross the road?
A: It was the chicken’s day off.

Q: Where do penguins go to the movies?
A: At the dive-in.

Q: What do you get when you cross a penguin and an alligator?
A: I don’t know, but don’t try to hug it!

Q: Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
A: To prove he wasn’t chicken.

Q: What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
A: Put it on my bill.

Q: When a penguin has no money, what does it tell the waiter?
A: Put it on my bill.

Q: Where do penguins go to dance?
A: The snow ball.

Q: Where does a penguin keep its money?
A: In a snow bank.

Q: Why did the penguin cross the road?
A: To go with the floe.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do penguins have for lunch?
A: Icebergers.

Q: How does a penguin make pancakes?
A: With its flippers.

Q: What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
A: An eggroll.

Q: Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
A: Aunt-Arctica.

Q: What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
A: Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

Q: Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: How do you get down off an penguin?
A: You don’t – you get down off a duck.

Q: What do penguins wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps.

Q: What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.

Q: What do penguins drink during the summer?
A: Iced tea.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did the polar bear say to the penguin?
A: Welcome to the zoo! (FYI: polar bears and penguins don’t naturally live near each other)

Q: What do penguins eat for lunch?
A: Ice burg-ers.

Q: Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
A: Anywhere it wants.

Q: How does a penguin build its house?
A: Igloos it together.

Q: How do penguins drink?
A: Out of beak-ers.

Q: What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
A: Really lost, because penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere.

Q: What do you give a sick penguin?
A: Tweetment.

Q: What’s black, white and red all over?
A: A penguin with a sunburn.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Did you hear the joke about the broken egg?
A: Yes, it cracked me up.

Q: Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
A: Because they don’t have any pockets.

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