Duck Jokes

This is the best collection of funny duck jokes you’ll find anywhere.

Not only will these duck jokes quack youblo up , but they are clean and safe for kids of all ages.

These silly duck jokes are especially great for parents, teachers, bird and nature lovers – but the are fun for everyone who enjoys wildlife and birds.

This collection is one of many from our huge collection of Animal Jokes, which includes Bird Jokes.

Funny Duck Jokes

Q: What does a duck with hiccups lay?
A: Scrambled eggs.

Q: Why do all ducks fly south for the winter?
A: Because it’s too far to walk.

Q: What did the duck say to the waiter when the check came?
A: Put it on my bill please.

Q: Why don’t ducks grow up?
A: Because they only grow down.

Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a cement mixer?
A: A brick layer.

Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To show the chicken how to do it.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do ducks put in their soup?
A: Quackers.

Q: Why did the duck cross the construction site?
A: To see a person lay a brick.

Q. Which side of a duck has more feathers?
A. The outside.

Q: How did the mommy duck break her back?
A: Her son stepped on a quack.

Q: What do you call a sarcastic duck?
A: A wise quacker.

Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather

Q: What is it called when it’s raining ducks?
A: Fowl weather.

Q: What do you call a duck that steals money?
A: A robber ducky.

Q: Why do ducks lay eggs?
A: Because they break if they drop them.

Q: Why did the duck cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: Where do tough ducks come from?
A: Hard-boiled eggs

Q: Where did the duck go when he felt sick?
A: To his ducktor.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do ducks grow on?
A: Eggplants.

Q: What type of TV shows do ducks like to watch?
A: Duckumentaries.

Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: It was friends with the chicken.

Q: What’s the best thing about duck basketball players?
A: They always make their fowl shots.

Q: What do ducks say when you try to charge them?
A: Put it on my bill.

Q: Why did the duck cross the baseball field?
A: He heard the umpire calling fowls

Q: When do ducks wake up?
A: At the quack of dawn.

Q: What has webbed feet, fangs and wears a cape?
A: Count Duckula.

Q: What happens when you mix ducks with fireworks?
A: You get firequackers.

Q. What do bad ducks lay?
A. Deviled eggs.

Q: Which dance will a duck never do?
A: The foxtrot.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What happens when you tell a duck a funny joke?
A: They quack up.

Q: What happens when you put ducks in a box?
A: You end up with a box of quackers.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
A: A chicken that lays down.

Q: Since chickens rise when the rooster crows, when do ducks wake up?
A: At the quack of dawn.

Took the Words Right Out of My Bill
Two ducks are in a lake. The first duck says “quack, quack, quack.” The other duck turns to him with a surprised look and says “wow – that’s what I was about to say!”

Q: What do you get when a duck lays an egg on a hill?
A: An eggroll

Q: What was the duck detective great at?
A: Quacking a case.

Q: Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
A: The outside.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did the slow duck say when his daddy told him to speed up?
A: I’m waddlin’ as quack as I can!

Check Please!
A duck, skunk and deer went out to eat at a restaurant. When it was time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent and the deer didn’t even have a buck… so the duck had the waiter put it on his bill!

Q: Why did the duck go to the movie theater?
A: He really liked the book.

Q: When is roast duck not good for your health?
A: When you’re the duck.

Q: Why didn’t the duck cross the road?
A: Because he’s not a chicken.

Q: How do ducks make pancakes?
A: They use bis-quack.

Q: Why was the duck sent to the principals office?
A: For quacking too many jokes during class.

Q: Why are ducks so good at fixing things?
A: They really know how to use duck tape.

Q: Why did the duck go to the river bank?
A: To get a new bill.

Q: What is it called when a duck steal your ball in water polo?
A: A water fowl.

Q: What show do ducks like to see every holiday season?
A: Swan Lake.

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