Viking Jokes

Looking for funny Viking Jokes?

This is the best collection of jokes about Vikings you’ll find anywhere.

Not only are these Viking jokes funny, but they are clean and safe for kids of all ages.

These Viking jokes are especially great for parents, teachers, children, historians – but they are fun for everyone.

Some of the other terms used for Vikings includes Northmen, Norse, Norseman, Ascomanni (Ashmen), Dubgail, Finngail, Lochlannach (lake person), Dene (Dane), and Varangians (sworn men). Vikings weren’t known for being silly, but these jokes sure are!

Viking Jokes

Q: What do Vikings play when they’re on a long journey?
A: Cards – because they always have a deck.

Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: Norse code.

Q: Why was the Viking’s ship feeling better?
A: It was heeling.

Q: What does every Viking do on their birthday?
A: They get older!

Q: Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
A: Because he couldn’t afjord a new one!

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which Viking rides around on Halloween to scare people?
A: The Headless Norseman.

Q: Why did the Vikings keep their money on an elevated sea floor?
A: It was a bank.

Q: Why did it take so long for the Viking sailor to pull it up the anchor?
A: It was farther than he FATHOMed (fathom is a unit of length, usually for depth)

Q: Why was Thor avoiding his brother?
A: He Odin money.

Q: Why did it take Thor so long to find his brother?
A: He couldn’t Lokite him.

Q: Who is Thor’s favorite singer?
A: MC Hammer

Q: What kind of dog do Vikings like most?
A: Great Danes.

Q: How did Vikings wash their clothes?
A: They used tide!

Q: Which famous Viking men were born on your birthday?
A: None – only babies are born!

Q: How many Vikings did it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None – they didn’t have electricity back then!

Q: Where did the teacher send the Viking when he got sick in class?
A: The school Norse.

Q: What do Eric the Red and Jabba the Hut all have in common?
A: They both have the same middle name.

Q: How do Norseman cook their food?
A: On a Viking range.

Q: Where do ghosts like to go sailing?
A: Lake Eerie

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: Who was the librarian at the Viking library?
A: Erik the Read

Q: Who always liked to rake the Viking’s lawn?
A: Leaf Erikson

Q: Where do zombie Vikings like to go sailing?
A: The Dead Sea

Q: How do Viking sailors say hello to each other?
A: They wave.

Q: How big was the shipwrecked Viking ship?
A: It was capsized.

Q: What does every Viking birthday end with?
A: The letter Y.

Q: Why was the Viking put in time-out?
A: He was naughty-cal.

Q: Where do Vikings play checkers?
A: Overboard.

Q: Why did the Viking ship crash into the dock.
A: It was closer than it a-PIER-ed

Q: Why was the Viking sailor so early for the party?
A: He got there Schooner than expected.

Q: How old was the Viking sailboat?
A: Wind Age. (Windage is the wind resistance of a boat)

Q: What was the Viking’s favorite letter of the alphabet?
A: C (Sea)

Q: Why did the Viking get heartburn after eating birthday cake?
A: He forgot to take off the candles.

Q: What do Vikings eat on Friday?
A: Sword fish.

Q: What are the only notes a Viking can sing?
A: High C’s.

Q: What was the Viking’s favorite color?
A: Gold!

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do Vikings do on Black Friday?
A: Shop the sails.

Q: Why was the Viking ship so cheap?
A: It was on sail.

Q: How do Vikings get down from their ship’s mast?
A: They can’t – you only get down from a goose.

Q: Why couldn’t anyone play cards with the Viking sailor?
A: He was standing on the deck.

Q: How can you turn a Viking into the leader of Iceland?
A: Take away the “V” and “I” and you have a king.

Q: What did the ocean say to the Viking?
A: Nothing – it just waved.

Q: Why does it take Vikings so long to say the alphabet?
A: They spend years at C.

Q: When do Vikings’s buy their clothes?
A: When they’re on sail.

Q: What has 6 arms, 6 legs and 6 eyes?
A: 6 Vikings.

Q: Why couldn’t the Viking get out of bed the day after running a marathon?
A: He was too Thor to move.

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