Political Jokes

Political Jokes and jokes about politics for parents, teachers, adults and kids of all ages. You’ll find political puns, riddles, one liners, knock knock jokes and more.

Check out our collection of Clean Political Jokes for people looking for political humor that is kid friendly.

These Political Jokes for Kids are perfect anytime, but especially during the run-up to election day. They can be fun for social studies and history classes, projects, lessons and speeches.

Political Jokes for Kids

Q: Who would you have if you crossed a gorilla with the 16th president of the United States?
A: Ape Lincoln.

Q: Who was the only US president to never blame his predecessor for anything?
A: George Washington (because he was the first president).

Q: What did George Washington use as false teeth?
A: PresiDENTURES

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North POLL.

Q: How did the US flag greet the Canadian flag?
A: It waved.

Q: What US state is the smartest?
A: Alabama – it has four A’s and one B.

Q: Why was Ben Franklin so healthy?
A: He had a good Constitution.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Who is the leader of the Feline Communist Party?
A: Chairman Meow.

Q: Why does Mississippi see so many voters at the polls?
A: Because it has 4 eyes.

Q: What are politically enthusiastic Robins known for?
A: Early Voting

Q: How can you tell that communism is a doomed form of government?
A: Look at all the red flags.

Q: What happened when Ben Franklin told a joke to the Liberty Bell?
A: It cracked it up.

Q: How did the poll worker get everyone to work together?
A: She delegates.

Q: On election day, what did Delaware?
A: Her New Jersey.

Q: Why did George Washington have trouble falling asleep?
A: Because he couldn’t lie.

Q: What kind of limb did the candidate for president go on?
A: An executive branch

Q: What did the corrupt senator order on election day?
A: Stuffed ballots.

Q: What grows longer every election year?
A: The branches of government.

Q: Where did the politician take his wife for something sweet?
A: On a candydate

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What is the capital of Washington?
A: W.

Clean Political Jokes

Q: Where can children vote?
A: In swing states

Q: What is the capital of Alaska?
A: Don’t Juneau this one?

Q: Where do poll workers get trained?
A: Electoral College

Q: What do you call an argument between a politician and one of his donors?
A: A conflict of interest.

Q: What US state gives out tiny drinks to voters?
A: Mini-soda.

Q: Why did the county legislator fall asleep?
A: He was one of the Bored Members.

Q: What does it cost to vote?
A: You’ll have to look at the Bill of Rights to find out.

Q: How hot was it in Arizona this summer?
A: It was so hot that people were sweating like a politician on election day.

Q: What’s the difference between baseball and politics?
A: In baseball, you’re called out if you’re caught stealing.

Politics Jokes for School

Q: What sport did the politician want to learn?
A: How to Ballot Box

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What’s the biggest problem with political jokes?
A: Too many of them get elected.

Q: What did the roller-blader wear to go voting?
A: In-line skates.

Q: Who made it take so long to cast votes in Pennsylvania this year?
A: Philly Buster

Q: Why was Evel Knievel criticized for jumping his motorcycle over the polling station?
A: It was a politically motivated stunt.

Q: What did they say when they saw Abraham Lincoln in line at the polling place?
A: You look great for your age!

Q: Why did the boy vote for the bicycle?
A: He liked how he spoke.

Q: Why couldn’t the spaghetti vote in this district?
A: He was an impasta.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which country gets crowded with Americans on election day?
A: Poland – because we are told to go to the polls.

Q: What is an October surprise to kids?
A: When they get full-size candy bars trick-or-treating on Halloween.

Political Jokes: One Liners

I was told that when Mohammed Ali went to vote, he used PUNCH card ballots…

My friend Chad was going to cast a vote, but he just wasn’t cut out do it…

My grandmother was upset she couldn’t vote for the candidate listed on the yard signs in her neighborhood. Apparently, “House For Sale” wasn’t on her ballot…

Funny Political Quotes

“If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?”
[Jon Stewart]

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
[Abraham Lincoln]

Political Knock Knock Jokes

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Paul.
Paul who?
Paulster looking to ask you a few questions about the election!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Chad.
Chad who?
Dimpled Chad – please count me!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Maya.
Maya who?
Maya vote was cast today!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Paul .
Paul who?
Paul O’Ticks.

Halloween Jokes on your Phone or Device

Never search for clean Halloween jokes again – Download them now instead. Get EVERY Halloween joke you’ll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device – forever! #1 for Parents and Teachers! Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. Plus you’ll get a fun bonus – Halloween Lunch Box Jokes Printable (30+ Days of Jokes).