Jokes About Teachers

This hilarious collection of jokes about school teachers really makes the grade.

These jokes about teachers are funny and respectful enough for teachers to enjoy as much as everyone else.

Perfect for parents, teachers, principals, counselors – and children of all ages. The school teacher jokes here are clean and safe for everyone.

Jokes About School Teachers

Q: What’s one of the first things ant teachers do in the morning?
A: Lead the class with the national anthum.

Q: Why did the teacher put the chalk in front of a TV?
A: She didn’t like the chalk bored.

Q: Why did the teacher bring slippers to school?
A: For when she’s in the teacher’s lounge.

Q: Why did the teacher only allow measuring tape in the classroom?
A: She wanted to be the only ruler.

Q: On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?
A: June, July & August.

Q: What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
A: Square meals

Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q. Which U.S. state has the most algebra teachers?
A. Mathachussets.

Q. Why did the algebra teacher go to school with his pants tucked into his socks?
A. To protect himself from mathema-ticks.

Q: Which class was the caterpillar excited about teaching in school?
A: Mothematics.

Q. What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tree?
A. Arithma-sticks.

Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed on the first day of school?
A: She couldn’t control her pupils.

Q: Why don’t they let giraffes teach elementary school?
A: They can only teach in High School.

Q: Why did the teacher write the class rules on the windows?
A: She wanted it to be very clear for her students.

Q: Who is a teacher’s best friend at school?
A: The princi-PAL.

Q: Why did the Cyclops teacher have such an easy day of school?
A: He only had one pupil.

Q: Which grade school teachers have the greenest thumbs?
A: The kinderGARDEN teachers.

Q: What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
A: The first says “Spit out that bubble gum” and the second says “chew chew.”

Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite season?
A: Sum-mer.

Q. Why wouldn’t the teacher allow her students to say 288 in class?
A: Because it’s two gross. (Hint: 144 is called a gross)

Q. Why was the geometry book so adorable?
A: Because it had acute angles.

Q. What did the girl say to her math book?
A: Some day, you’re going to have to solve your own problems.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q. What’s treat do math teachers in Maine bring to the first day of class?
A: Whoopie Pi’s.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a calculator?
A: Someone you can always count on.

Q: How did the teacher make the first day of school fly by?
A: She threw a clock!

Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to the first day of school?
A: She heard her new students were bright.

Q: How did Viking teachers communicate?
A: By norse code.

Q: Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
A: He wanted the lesson to be very clear.

Q: Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
A: Because he swept her off her feet.

Q: What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
A: Square meals!

Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
A: Summer.

Q: Where do math teachers go on New Year’s Eve?
A: Times Square

Q: Why did the geometry teacher miss class?
A: Because he sprained his angle.

Q. What is the most popular dessert for teachers in Georgia?
A: Peach pi.

Q: Where do teachers with a sweet tooth like to teach?
A: In sundae school. (so they can eat an ice cream sundae)

Q: Why didn’t the teacher want to close her eyes during the school day?
A: There would be no pupils to see.

Q: Why did the teacher give the student a wet report card?
A: Because his grades were below C level.

Q: Which room can a teacher never enter?
A: A Mushroom.

Q: Why did the teacher punish the student for something she didn’t do?
A: Because she didn’t DO her homework.

Q: Why did the teacher jump into the pond?
A: To test the waters.

Q: What answer did the teacher get when she asked her student to pay a little attention?
A: But I’m paying as little attention as I can.

Q: What do math teachers eat on Thanksgiving?
A: Pumpkin Pi.

Q: Why did the math teacher hand out eye glasses during class?
A: To help her students with their di-vison.

Q: Who is the most famous Phys Ed teacher?
A: Jim Nasium.

Q: Why did the teacher have his students do multiplication problems on the floor?
A: He didn’t want them to use tables.

Q. What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a clock?
A. Mathema-ticks.

Q. Why did the teacher eat her student’s math homework?
A: Because she was told it was a piece of cake.

Q: Where do math teachers go on New Year’s Eve?
A: Times Square

Q: Why did the geometry teacher miss class?
A: Because he sprained his angle.

Q: What are ten things teachers can always count on?
A: Their fingers!

Q: Why did the student go to jail?
A: The teacher threw the book at him.

Q: What subject did sibling teachers Bob and Bill Smith teach?
A: AlgeBRO.

Q: Why was music class so hard?
A: Too many notes.