Hilarious collection of jokes about school and various school subjects.
This collection of jokes about school have a little something for everyone. History jokes, math jokes, jokes about teachers and more. Perfect for parents, teachers, counselors – and children of all ages. The school jokes here are clean and safe for everyone.
Jokes About School for Kids
Q: Where do people learn to make ice cream?
A: In sundae school.
Q: Why did the knight run around shouting for a can opener?
A: He had a bee in his suit of armour.
Q: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
A: Because there were so many knights.
Q: What was Camelot?
A: A place where people parked their camels
Q: When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
A: Because there are no pupils to see.
Q: How did Vikings communicate?
A: By norse code.
Q: What is a forum?
A: Two-um plus two-um.
Q: Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
A: He wanted the lesson to be very clear.
More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓
Science Teacher: Who can tell me what an atom is?
Student: The guy who went out with Eve.
Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
Student: I suspect it’s around Hadrian’s garden…
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbor?
Student: Because it can’t sit down.
Q: Who is your best friend at school?
A: Your princi-PAL.
Q: Why did the Cyclops stop teaching?
A: Because he only had one pupil.
Q: Why was the student’s report card wet?
A: Because it was below C level.
Q: What is the only grade level you can plant a flower in?
A: Kindergarden.
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9.
Q: What flies around the school at night?
A: The alpha-bat.
Q: What is a teacher’s three favorite words?
A: June, July & August.
Q: What starts with a T, ends with a T, and is full of T?
A: A teapot.
Q: What room can a student never enter?
A: A Mushroom.
Q: What letter is found in a cup?
A: T.
Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
A: She couldn’t control her pupils.
Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓
Q: Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
A: Because he swept her off her feet.
Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?
A: Because they’re all in High School.
Q: What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
A: The first says “Spit out that chewing gum” and the second says “chew chew.”
Boy: Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do.
Mother: What was that?
Boy: My homework.
Q: What has 3 feet and no legs?
A: A yardstick.
Q: What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?
A: A blackboard.
Q: Why did the teacher jump into the pond?
A: To test the waters.
Teacher: Why is your homework in your father’s handwriting?
Student: I used his pen.
Q: Name two days of the week that start with “t”?
A: Today and Tomorrow.
Q: Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
A: He wanted the lesson to be very clear.
Q: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet?
A: But these are the only feet I’ve got.
Q: What school supply is always tired?
A: A knapsack.
Q: Why is the letter A like a flower?
A: Because a “B” always comes after it.
Q: Could you please pay a little attention?
A: But I’m paying as little attention as I can.
Q: How can you spell enemy with three letters?
A: F-o-e
Teacher: I see you missed a day of school.
Student: Yes, but I didn’t miss it much.
More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓
Q: What’s the longest word in the alphabet?
A: Elemeno!
Q: Who are the smartest letters in the alphabet
A: Wise (y’s)
Math Jokes for Kids
Q: What do mathematicians eat on Halloween?
A: Pumpkin Pi.
Q: Why did the girl wear glasses during math class?
A: Because it improves di-vison.
Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because it had so many problems..
Q: What geometric figure is like a lost parrot?
A: A polygon.
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi
Q: Why do plants hate math?
A: Because it gives them square roots.
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt. (look at the number 8)
Q: Why did the boy eat his math homework?
A: Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
Q: Have you heard the latest statistics joke?
A: Probably.
Q: What did the acorn say when it grew up?
A: Gee, I’m a tree. (geometry)
Q: What was T. rex’s favorite number?
A: Eight (ate)
Q: What do you call an empty parrot cage?
A: Polygon.
Q: What snakes are good at doing sums?
A: Adders (the sum is what you get when you add numbers)
Q: How can you make time fly?
A: Throw a clock out the window.
Q: Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
A: They already 8 (ate).
Teacher: What’s 2 and 2?
Student: 4
Teacher: That’s good.
Student: Good? That’s perfect!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Algy
Algy who?
Algy-bra
Q: Why did the teacher write the math problem on the window?
A: He wanted it to be very clear.
Q: Do you know a statistics joke?
A: Probably, but it’s mean
Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems
Q: What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
A: Square meals
Q: Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
A: The teacher told him not to use tables.
Q: What is a mathematician’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi
Q: How can you make seven even?
A: Take away the “S”
Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
A: Because it had more cents.
Q: What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
A: Square meals!
More Jokes Below ↓ ↓
Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
A: Summer.
Q: Why didn’t the two 4’s want to eat dinner?
A: Because they already 8.
Q: Why did the student do her multiplication on the floor?
A: Because she wasn’t allowed to use tables.
Q. What U.S. state has the most maths teachers?
A. Mathachussets.
Q. What did the triangle say to the circle?
A: You’re pointless.
Q. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot.
Q. Heard about the mathematical plant?
A. It has square roots.
Q. What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a clock?
A. Mathema-ticks.
Q: What do you call numbera that can’t stay still?
A: Roamin’ numerals.
Q. Matt had 60 cookies. He ate 30 of them. What does he have now?
A tummy ache.
Q: What was the caterpillar’s favorite school subject?
A: Mothematics.
Q. What did the circle say to the rectangle?
A: You’re such a square.
Q. What’s the king of the pencil case?
A. The ruler.
Q. Which tables don’t students need to study?
A. Dinner tables.
Q. What did the math book say to the psychiatrist?
A: Please help me, I have problems.
Q. What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tree?
A. Arithma-sticks.
Q. Why was the obtuse angle so upset?
A: Because it was never right.
Q. Why was the warlock so bad at math?
A: He never knew WITCH equation to use.
Q. What did the algebra book say to the science book?
A: Boy, do I have problems!
Q. What did the math book say to the history book?
A: You know you can count on me.
More Jokes Below ↓ ↓
Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite season?
A: Sum-mer.
Q. What number can only go up?
A: Your age.
Q. What did the square say to the old circle?
A: Been around long?
Q. Why couldn’t the 6 and 11 get married?
A: They were under 18.
Q. What is heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of cotton?
A: Neither, they both weight a pound.
Q. Why shouldn’t you say 288 in school?
A: Because it’s two gross. (Hint: 144 is called a gross)
Q. Where do multiplication problems eat breakfast?
A: At times tables.
Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi.
Q. Why didn’t the dime roll down the hill with the nickel?
A: Because it had more cents.
Q. Why did the math book get poor grades?
A: It never did it’s own work.
Q. Why did the right triangle put the air conditioner on?
A: Because it was 90 degrees.
Q: If 1 = 5, 2 = 25, 3 = 125, and 4 = 525 – what is 5 equal to?
A: 1
Q. What’s black and white and has lots of problems?
A: A math test.
Q. Why did the boy keep a ruler under his pillow?
A: To see how long he could sleep.
Q. What did the spelling book say to the math book?
A: I know I can count on you.
Q. Why was the geometry book so adorable?
A: Because it had acute angles.
Q. Why did the student eat her math homework?
A: Because she heard it was a piece of cake.
Q. When I ask this question, I want you to answer quickly. How much is 5 plus 3?
A: I said I wanted you to answer “Quickly”
Q. How can you make 1 dime equal 20-cents?
A: By placing it in front of the mirror.
Q. What table can’t you eat at?
A: The multiplication table.
Q. What did the calculator say to the girl?
A: I’ll solve all your problems!
Q. What part of your body solves Math problems?
A: Your add-em’s apple.
Q. What was the weather like when the right angle went swimming?
A: It was 90 degrees.
Q. How many women were born in the year 2008?
A: None, only babies were born?
Q. What do inches follow?
A: The ruler.
More Jokes Below ↓ ↓
Q: What do you get when you add 4 apples and 2 apples?
A: A 2nd grade math problem.
Q. What did the girl say to her math book?
A: Some day, you’re going to have to solve your own problems.
Q. Why is glue bad at Math?
A: It always gets stuck on the problems.
Q. What’s snack is the most popular among teachers in Maine?
A: Whoopie Pi.
Q. Why was the snake so good at math?
A: He was an Adder.
Q.How do you make one vanish?
A. Add a ‘G’ to the beginning and it’s gone.
Q. What tool do you use in math?
A: Multi-plyers.
Q. What kind of tree do math teachers like most?
A: Geome-tree
Q. What did the circle tell on the tangent line?
A: Because it kept touching him.
Q. What is the most popular dessert for teachers in Georgia?
A: Peach pi.
Q. Why was the boy searching for after a rain storm?
A: He heard it rained an inch and three quarters — and was looking for the three quarters!
Q. When is a fraction not a fraction?
A: When it’s a whole.
Q. What gets bigger the more you take away?
A: A hole.
Q. How many times can you take 5 from 25?
A: Once. After that, you would be taking 5 from 20.
Q. If you have 50-cents in one pocket and $1 in the other, what do you have?
A: Enough to buy ice cream.
Q: Why did the two 4’s skip dinner?
A: They already 8.
Q. What is the difference between an old dime and a new nickle?
A: 5 cents.
Q. What are ten things you can always count on?
A: Your fingers.
Q. What do you get when you cross a person with a calculator?
A: Someone you can always count on.
Q. What are 20 things you can always count on?
A: Your fingers and toes.
Q. If 2’s company and 3’s a crowd, the what is 4 and 5?
A: 4 and 5 is 9.
Q. How do a cows add?
A: With cow-culators.
Q: Why don’t you do arithmetic around lions?
A: Because if you add 4 and 4 you get ate.
I ate and ate ’til I got sick on the floor. 8 times 8 is 64. Urrp.
Q: Where do math teachers go on New Year’s Eve?
A: Times Square
Q: Why did the geometry teacher miss class?
A: Because he sprained his angle.
Q. How do cows reach sums?
A: By adding one number to an udder one.
Q: What do you call two friends who love math?
A: Algebros
Q. How many seconds are there in a year?
A: 12 – January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd…
Q. Why was 8 not friends with 3?
A: Because 3 was odd.
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