Beach Jokes

These funny beach jokes are great for parents, families and children.

The jokes about beaches on this page are clean and safe for all ages.

Heading out to the beach or going on vacation? Pack some fun beach jokes for the ride and share some laughs. Or put some in a lunch box in the days heading up to summer vacation!

Speaking of summer, once you’ve read through the beach jokes on this page, visit our Summer Jokes page.

Beach Jokes

Q: What do you call the seagulls that live by the Bay?
A: Bagels.

Q: What did the beach say to the surfer?
A: Nothing… it just waved.

Q: What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
A: Shore!

Q: Why didn’t the poodle want to go to the beach?
A: It didn’t want to be a hot dog.

Q: What happens when you go to the beach and throw your hat in the water?
A: It gets wet!

Q: What do you call a Hogwarts professor who goes to the beach?
A: A sandwitch

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Q: What did the beach say when it saw the tide come in?
A: Long time no sea.

Q: How do you pay the fee to get on a beach?
A: You use sand dollars.

Q: Why did the crab cross the beach?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: Where does a fish go to borrow money?
A: The loan shark

Q: What do whales eat for dinner?
A: Fish and ships

Q: Why do people swim at salt water beaches?
A: Because a pepper beach would make them sneeze

Q: What did one tidal pool say to the other tidal pool?
A: Show me your mussels.

Q: Which legendary singer do beach resorts love to host?
A: Dinah Shore

Q: What card game do anglers play at the beach?
A: Go fish.

Q: What did the boy say after a long day at the beach?
A: Mommy, I’m surf bored.

Q: What do trains do during the summer?
A: Play beach trolleyball

Q: What do toads drink when they go to the beach?
A: Ice cold Croak-o-cola.

Q: Why did they call the police during the summer beach concert?
A: Something fishy was going on.

Q: What did the family do when they arrived at the summer breach resort?
A: They shellabrated.

Q: What kind of fruit tree grows at the beach?
A: Crab apple trees.

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Q: What do you call a labrador at the beach in August?
A: A hot dog

Q: What kind of dessert do you serve at a summer beach party?
A: Beach pie.

Q: What kind of sandwiches can you make at the beach?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish sandwiches.

Q: What do you call a cat who lives at the beach?
A: Sandy claws.

Q: What did the pig say while laying out at the beach?
A: I’m bacon

Q: What is the strongest animal at the beach?
A: The mussels.

Q: What did the beach say to the people who came back for the summer?
A: Long time no sea.

Q: What’s the best day of the week to go to the beach?
A: SUNday

Q: What do you call a French man who wears beach sandals?
A: Phillipe Phloppe.

Q: What do you call a snowman at the beach?
A: A puddle.

Q: Which fish is the most famous at the beach?
A: Star fish

Q: Which comedian loves going to the beach?
A: Pauly Shore

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