Ghost Jokes

This is the best collection of ghost jokes that are clean and safe for kids of all ages.

These ghost jokes are perfect for Halloween but get laughs all year long for teachers, parents and children. Let’s face it, ghosts are just plain fun. Saying “boo” is as popular as ever and there are no signs of it going away. You can thank ghosts for that!

With the recent popularity of the Ghostbusters movie, these ghost jokes are even more fun!

FYI – A poltergeist is a type of ghost!

Grab some post-it notes and put some of these funny ghost jokes in a lunch box or notebook and you’re sure to brighten up somebody’s day. And when you’re done reading and sharing these jokes, check out our collection of Ghoul jokes.

Ghost Jokes for Kids

Q: What color are sad ghosts?
A: Bloooooo.

Q: What do you call a ghost that brags?
A: A boastful ghost.

Q: What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
A: Boooties.

Q: What do ghosts do on Halloween?
A: Go to casparties. (Casper the friendly ghost)

Q: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, poodle, and a ghost?
A: A cocker-poodle-boo.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: How do ghosts keep their hair in place?
A: They use scare spray.

Q: How do ghosts tell their future?
A: They read their horror-scope.

Q: Where do ghosts go when they want to surf?
A: The Dead Sea.

Q: What kind of ghost has the best hearing?
A: The eeriest.

Q: What did they call the mischievous twin ghosts?
A: Double trouble.

Q: Why are so few ghosts arrested?
A: It’s tough to pin anything on them.

Q: How do ghost musicians learn songs?
A: They read sheet music.

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist.

Q: What kind of cars do ghosts drive?
A: Boo-icks.

Q: Why are so few ghosts arrested?
A: It’s tough to pin anything on them.

Q: What kind of horses do ghosts ride?
A: Night-mares.

Q: Where do ghosts mail letters?
A: The ghost office.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why did the ghost go to the dance?
A: To see the boogie man.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a ghost?
A: A peck-a-boo.

Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: Ice Scream.

Q: How did the friendly ghost do his test?
A: He got a casperfect score.

Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite game?
A: Hide-and-Go-Shriek.

Q: What kind of birthday cake do ghosts like most?
A: Sheet cake.

Q: Where does a ghost go to dance?
A: Anywhere they can boo-gie.

Q: How do you greet a two-headed ghost?
A: Hello, hello.

Q: Why was the ghost scared stiff?
A: Too much starch on his sheet.

Q: What do pirate ghosts look for?
A: Booooty

Q: Which album do all spirits have in their collection?
A: Ghost in the Machine by The Police.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: Who protects the beach where spirits roam?
A: The Ghost Guard.

Q: Which ghost lives in Town Hall?
A: The night-mayor.

Q: Why couldn’t the ghost go to school with the witch?
A: He couldn’t spell.

Q: What is it called when ghosts commit a robbery?
A: A polterheist.

Q: What do you do with a green ghost?
A: Wait til it ripens.

Q: What was the obnoxious spirit told by the haunted hotel owner?
A: Ghostay somewhere else.

Q: Why is the letter G so scary?
A: It can turn a host into a ghost.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: How did the ghost mend the hole in his sheet?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: Why do ghosts and demons get along so well?
A: Because demons are a ghost’s best friend.

Q: Why was the ghost given a ticket by the game warden?
A: He didn’t have a haunting license.

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies?
A: Because you can see right through them.

Q: Who writes the spookiest books?
A: Ghostwriters.

Q: Why are ghosts covered in wrinkles?
A: They’re too hard to iron.

Q: Why didn’t the ghost slurp his food?
A: Because then it would be a goblin.

Q: Who was the ghost’s favorite family member?
A: His mummy.

Q: Where do ghosts go to fish?
A: Lake Eerie.

Q: Why did the friendly ghost lose his job
A: It wasn’t casper-manent.

Q: Who did the boy ghost take to the Halloween dance?
A: His boo-tiful ghoul-friend.

Q: How do young ghost’s get around the neighborhood?
A: On their boocycles.

Q: What time is it when a ghost haunts your house?
A: Time to get a new house.

Q: What do ghost’s say when they meet someone new?
A: How do you boo?

Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo-boos.

Q: What kind of ghosts haunt skyscrapers?
A: Higher spirits.

Q: Why do ghosts only eat organic food?
A: Because it’s super-natural.

Q: What kind of spirit stays up late doing interviews?
A: A talk show ghost.

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite day of the week?
A: Frightday.

Q: Which ghost helped the Little Leaguers win their baseball game?
A: The team spirit.

Q: What was the ghost’s favorite bird?
A: A scare crow.

Q: What medicine do ghosts take for colds?
A: Coffin drops.

Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?
A: Booberries.

Q: Why wasn’t the ghost successful?
A: Because he didn’t believe in himself.

Q: Why did the ghost stop telling jokes?
A: Too many boos.

Q: Why was the ghost so slippery?
A: It was a sheet of ice.

Q: Why are ghosts cowards?
A: They have no guts.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: Who answers the door at a haunted house party?
A: A g-host host.

Q: Where does a ghost refuel his car?
A: At the ghastly station.

Q: What goes on top of ghost ice cream sundaes?
A: Whipped scream.

Q: How can you tell if a ghost is angry?
A: It turns red.

Q: What patriotic song do ghosts sing?
A: America the Boo-tiful.

Q: How do ghosts stay warm during the winter?
A: They wear blankets instead of sheets.

Q: What was the ghost’s favorite dessert?
A: Boo-berry pie!

Q: What do ghosts eat on hot days?
A: I-scream

Q: What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A: Ghoulash.

Q: What airline do ghosts fly on?
A: American Scareways.

Q: How do ghosts like their lemonade?
A: Ice ghould.

Q: How do ghosts stay fit?
A: Through exorcise.

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Dayscare centers.

Q: Why are so many Canadians haunted by ghosts?
A: They live in terror-tories.

Q: What did the ghost say when he fell down?
A: I got a boo-boo.

Q: What do ghosts drink in the morning?
A: Coffee with scream and sugar.

Q: Which type of trees do ghouls like to sit near?
A: Ceme-trees.

Q: Who senator represents ghosts in congress?
A: The Spooker of the House.

Q: What story do little ghosts like at bedtime?
A: Ghoul-dilocks and the Three Scares.

Q: Why did the ghost hurry home from school?
A: To watch an after-ghoul special on TV.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: How do ghosts like their eggs?
A: Terri-fried.

Q: What do Australian ghosts like to play with in the park?
A: Boo-merangs.

Q: What do they call prehistoric ghosts?
A: Terror-dactyls.

Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost?
A: Bamboo.

Q: What do ghouls write their exercise results in?
A: Their exorcise journal.

Q: How do you keep a ghost in supsense?
A: Tell him later.

Q: What did the ghost put in his morning cereal?
A: Boonanas

Q: What kind of muffins do ghosts like most?
A: Booberry muffins.

Q: What do ghosts call their mom and dad?
A: His trans-parents.

Q: Which fairy tale do little girl ghosts like most?
A: Sleeping Boo-ty.

Q: What backyard game do ghosts like to play?
A: Hide-and-go-shriek.

Q: What is the one room ghost houses don’t need?
A: A living room.

Q: When does a ghost have breakfast?
A: In the moaning.

Q: Where do baby ghosts stay when their parents are haunting people at night?
A: Nightscare centers.

Q: Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?
A: At boo-tiques.

Q: Where do ghosts buy food?
A: The ghost-ery store.

Q: What do the ghosts of gingerbread men wear?
A: Cookie sheets.

Q: What did the guard at the haunted house say?
A: Halt, who ghosts there?

Q: What day of the week do ghosts look forward to?
A: Moanday.

Q: What do you do when 10 ghost are at your front door?
A: Hope it’s Halloween.

Q: What did the ghost bride throw to her bridesmaids?
A: Her boo-quet.

Q: What do ghosts mail while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards.

Q: What kind of hotdogs to ghosts like best?
A: Halloweiners.

Q: What do ghosts drink when they’re hot?
A: Ghoul-aid.

Q: What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
A: Mas-scare-a.

Q: What do you call a ghost sitting in a sauna?
A: A toasty ghosty.

Q: What did they call the brother and sister ghosts?
A: A gruesome twosome.

Q: What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains?
A: Boots and ghouloshes.

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