December Jokes

These December Jokes include over 100 of the funniest December puns, riddles, one-liners and knock-knock jokes for the month of December. These are clean December jokes, so they are safe for kids and adults of all ages.

December is one of the busiest month’s of the year for Fun Kids Jokes. Millions of people are searching for jokes about winter, snow, Christmas, holidays, winter sports and so much more.

This collection of jokes for December features a sampling of jokes from these complete December related joke collections: Santa Jokes, Reindeer Jokes, Winter Jokes, Snow Jokes, Snowman Jokes, Grinch Jokes, Mistletoe Jokes, Garland Jokes, Tinsel Jokes, Advent Calendar Jokes, Elf Jokes, Santa’s Sleigh Jokes, Eggnog Jokes, Christmas Song Jokes, Nutcracker Jokes, North Pole Jokes, Football Jokes and Skiing Jokes (and also check our Christmas Joke Collections page).

December Jokes

Q: What do bees do in New York during December?
A: Put on their yellow jacket.

Q: Which month is the best for sleepovers?
A: Deslumber.

Q: Why did the jazz musician play his trumpet outside during December?
A: Because he liked cool music…

Q: What do you have in December that you can’t have in any other month?
A: The letter D

Q: What can you catch in December with your eyes closed?
A: A cold.

Q: How do New Yorkers farm during the month of December?
A: With a snow plow.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do cranberries say on December 25th?
A: Cranberrrrrry Christmas!

December Snow Jokes

Q: What often falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
A: Snow

Q: What’s a good winter tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.

Q: How was the snow globe feeling after the scary story?
A: A little shaken.

Q: What’s the best part about school during the winter?
A: Snow and tell.

Q: What video game do they play in igloos?
A: Snow Fortnite.

Q: Why did the boy only wear one snow boot?
A: There was only a 50% chance of snow.

Q: Why did the boy keep his trumpet out in the snow?
A: Because he liked cool music.

Q: What’s white and goes up?
A: A confused snowflake.

Q: What often falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
A: Snow

Snowman Jokes for December

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What type of diet did the snowman go on?
A: The Meltdown Diet

Q: What did the snowman have for breakfast?
A: Frosted Snowflakes

Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In a snow bank.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What’s it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A: A meltdown.

Q: Where do snowmen go to dance?
A: The snowball.

Q: What do you call a snowman in August?
A: A puddle.

Q: Who was the snow man’s favorite relative?
A: Aunt Arctica.

Winter Reindeer Jokes

Q: What do reindeer eat for breakfast?
A: Deerios.

Q: What’s the smartest type of animal at the North Pole?
A: Braindeer.

Q: What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
A: Go to a re-tail shop for a new one.

Q: What did the Deer Queen say to her daughter when she turned 21?
A: It’s your time to Reign deer.

Q: What do reindeer have that nothing else can have?
A: Baby reindeer.

Q: How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
A: Stop feeding it. (To “fast” means to not eat some kinds of food or drink for a period of time)

Q: Do reindeer go to public schools?
A: Nope – they are elf-taught.

Q: What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A: A Pony sleigh station.

Q: What looks like half a reindeer?
A: The other half.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: How is a reindeer like a coin?
A: It has a head on one side and tail on the other

Q: Why do reindeer fly?
A: Because they can’t drive.

Q: If baseball players get athlete’s foot, what do reindeer get?
A: Mistle-toes.

Q: Which reindeer can jump higher than a house?
A: All of them – because houses can’t jump.

Q: Where do the reindeer like to stop for ice cream?
A: Deery Queen.

Q: Why is Scrooge so nice to reindeer?
A: He values every buck.

Q: When should you give reindeer milk to a baby?
A: When it’s a baby reindeer.

Q: Why do reindeer have fur coats?
A: Because they look silly in snow suits.

Q: Why are reindeer so cold at Christmas?
A: Because it’s in Decembrrrrr.

Q: What do you get when you cross a reindeer with a cow?
A: A reinsteer.

Advent Calendar Jokes

Q: How did the elf on the shelf feel when he couldn’t get the chocolate from the advent calendar?
A: Foiled.

Q: What does Rudolph run to every December morning up until Christmas?
A: His Advent calen-deer.

Q: Why did the boy bring his science book home for the holidays?
A: To create something for the invent calendar.

Q: Which girl elf on the shelf hid the advent calendar?
A: Miss Chievous.

Q: How do you drain pasta on Christmas?
A: With an advent collander.

Q: Which dangerous cookie was found in the advent calendar?
A: A Ninja-bread man.

Q: How do you pick up a 2-ton Advent calendar?
A: With a Candy Crane.

Christmas Tree Jokes for December

Q: Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble with the umpire?
A: Too much pine tar on his bat.

Q: Why are Christmas trees more noticible on Christmas?
A: They have more presence. (presents/gifts)

Q: Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble?
A: It was knotty.

Q: Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?
A: Wood-row Wilson

Q: Why do Christmas trees make such wonderful pets?
A: They have a great bark, but wooden bite.

Q: How was the Christmas tree like a clumsy seamstress?
A: They both drop needles.

Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to decorating school?
A: So it could spruce up the forest.

Q: What’s as big as a Christmas tree but weighs nothing?
A: It’s shadow.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?
A: Been nice gnawing you.

Q: How many Christmas trees can you plant on an empty farm?
A: One, because then the farm isn’t empty anymore…

Q: Why don’t Christmas trees ever pollute?
A: They are ever-green.

Q: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?
A: The Captain’s log.

Q: What gets one year older when it rings?
A: A Christmas tree.

Q: What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?
A: May the forest be with you.

Q: How did the boy cut down the Christmas tree without going near it?
A: He saw it with his own two eyes.

Grinch Jokes

Q: Why doesn’t the Grinch like knock knock jokes?
A: Because there’s always Who’s there!

Q: Why did the Grinch want to go down the chimney?
A: Because it sooted him

Q: What is the Grinch’s least favorite band?
A: The Who

Q: Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?
A: He was Claustrophobic.

Q: What is the Grinch’s favorite board game?
A: Mean-opoly.

Q: Why can’t the Grinch get down from the mountain?
A: You can only get down from a goose.

Q: Why was the Grinch invited to the Cinco de Mayo party?
A: They thought he was a giant avocado.

Holiday Decorations Jokes for December

Q: How do Christmas trees communicate with each other?
A: Tin-sel phones.

Q: What happens if you eat shiny Christmas tree decorations?
A: You get tinselitis.

Q: What is green, says “ribbet” and is covered in tinsel?
A: Mistle-toad.

Q: Where can you find used garland?
A: Used Gar Dealership.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did the garland say when it saw the Christmas tree?
A: Time to spruce things up.

Q: What is garland?
A: It’s where you find the best prices on gar…

Q: What did the sad Christmas tree say after being decorated with garland?
A: Now I’m feelin’ pine…

Q: Why was the garland late?
A: It got hung up on something.

Q: Why was the military garland so famous?
A: It was highly decorated.

Q: Why doesn’t mistletoe grow up dogwood trees?
A: It’s afraid of the bark.

Q: Why was all of the mistletoe growing up one tree?
A: It was poplar tree.

Q: What part of our body can only be seen at Christmas-time?
A: The mistletoe.

Q: How do you clean mistletoe?
A: With Kiss my Face soap.

Q: What weighs less, a pound of mistletoe or a pound of pine needles?
A: Neither, they both weigh one pound.

Q: How can you tell when a Christmas party is over?
A: Mistletoe leaves.

Santa Jokes

Q: Who delievers Christmas presents to elephants?
A: Elephanta Claus

Q: Who says oh, oh, oh?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards

Q: What type of potato chip is Santa’s favorite?
A: Crisp Pringles

Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks?
A: Santa Jaws

Q: What is Santa’s favorite Olympic event?
A: North Pole-vault

Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the toys are!

Q: What do you call it when Santa takes a break from delivering presents?
A: Santa pause

Q: Where does Santa go to vote?
A: The North Poll.

Q: What do you call Santa when he has no change in his pocket?
A: Saint Nickel-less.

Q: What kind of motorcycle does Kris Kringle ride?
A: A Holly Davidson.

Q: What do elves call it when Santa claps his hands at the end of a play?
A: Santapplause.

Q: What’s red & white and red & white and red & white?
A: Santa rolling down a hill.

Q: What would you call Santa if he became a detective?
A: Santa Clues.

Q: How does Kris Kringle take pictures?
A: With his North Pole-aroid.

Elf Jokes

Q: How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other’s shoulders.

Q: What do you call a greedy elf?
A: Elfish

Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburned elf

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What was the elf’s favorite sport?
A: Miniature golf.

Q: What did the elf say to do on the computer to see Santa’s toy request list?
A: First, YULE LOGon.

Q: What’s the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The elfabet.

Q: If there were 11 elves and another one joined them, what would he be?
A: The twelf.

Q: What did the elf get when he crossed a bell with a skunk?
A: Jingle smells.

Eggnog Jokes

Q: What’s the fastest way to get eggnog to the party?
A: Use the eggs-press lane.

Q: Why does eggnog go to school?
A: For an egg-u-cation.

Q: How did the guests like the eggnog?
A: They were eggstatic.

Q: How do you describe a tasty eggnog?
A: Eggcellent.

Scrooge Jokes

Q: Why didn’t Scrooge do well in school?
A: He was too cheap to pay attention.

Q: Which of Santa’s reindeer is Ebenezer Scrooge’s favorite?
A: RUDEolph.

Q: What kind of food does Mr. Scrooge like to eat?
A: Bah-Bah-cue.

Q: Why doesn’t Ebenezer Scrooge like birds?
A: They’re always saying “cheap, cheap, cheap” when he walks by.

Q: Which Christmas carol might be preferred by Scrooge?
A: Silent Night.

Q: Why did Scrooge put his clock in the bank?
A: To save time.

Santa’s Sleigh Jokes

Q: What’s red and green and guides Santa’s sleigh?
A: Rudolph the red-nosed frog.

Q: Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for ice cream on Christmas Eve?
A: Deery Queen.

Q: What did Santa say when his sleigh landed in a big pond?
A: Row, Row, Row!

Q: How does Santa guide his sleigh?
A: With reinsteer.

Skiing Jokes

Q: What do skiers use to correct their mistakes?
A: Whiteout

Q: What kind of parties do skiers go to?
A: Snowballs.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do skiers call their list of things they want to do in their lifetime?
A: Brain Bucket list (a Brain Bucket is a protective helmet)

Q: What do you get when you cross a skier and a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Christmas Song Jokes

Q: What did Dorothy say when she clicked her heals together on Christmas eve?
A: Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Q: Which holiday song will get you somewhere?
A: Sleigh Ride

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which Christmas song is always in a sad mood?
A: Blue Christmas

Q: What Christmas song do dogs like?
A: Bark, The Herald Angels Sing.

Nutcracker Jokes

Q: What nut can’t you open with a Nutcracker?
A: A doNUT.

Q: Why did the ballet instructor make her students practice The Nutcracker so often?
A: To keep them on their toes.

Q: What do you call sheep who perform The Nutcracker?
A: Baaaah-lerinas.

Q: Why can’t dogs perform The Nutcracker?
A: They have two left feet…

North Pole Jokes

Q: How does Kris Kringle take pictures?
A: With his North Pole-aroid.

Q: What did the ocean say to the North Pole?
A: Nothing. It just waved.

Q: What’s the best thing about winter day jobs at the North Pole?
A: The 30 minute work week!

Q: What do Santa’s helpers eat to warm up?
A: Elf-abet soup.

Q: How do you catch an Arctic hare?
A: With a hare net.

Football Jokes

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarter back.

Q: What do football players wear on halloween?
A: Face Masks!

Q: How do football players stay cool?
A: By standing close to the fans.

Q: Which two football teams played in the pirate superbowl?
A: The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.

Q: What kind of tea do football players drink?
A: Penaltea

Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.

December Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow who?
Snow real way of knowing.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow who?
Snow man named Frosty.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Icy who?
Icy you.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow who?
Snowbody home.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow who?
Snow business like show business like snow business I snow.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Emma who?
Emma cold standing out here.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Guitar who?
Guitar jackets, we’re going out into the cold!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Aunt who?
Antartic is always wintery.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey who?
Dewey know how cold it is outside?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes who?
Dish is the coldest December ever.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Gladys who?
Gladys December. How about you?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Star who?
Star getting ready for the new year.

These are just a sampling of our December jokes. You can find many more in our December related joke collections, including: Santa Jokes, Reindeer Jokes, Winter Jokes, Snow Jokes, Snowman Jokes, Grinch Jokes, Mistletoe Jokes, Garland Jokes, Tinsel Jokes, Advent Calendar Jokes, Elf Jokes, Santa’s Sleigh Jokes, Eggnog Jokes, Christmas Song Jokes, Nutcracker Jokes, North Pole Jokes (and also check our Christmas Joke Collections page).

Halloween Jokes on your Phone or Device

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