Dad Halloween Jokes

Halloween Dad Jokes are corny jokes that you might expect to hear from a dad on or around Halloween.

They are a bit cheesy and many-a-dad will tell them in a straight way.

We hope you enjoy this funny collection of Dad Halloween jokes about witches, ghosts, vampires and more.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire ?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why was the ghost given a ticket by the game warden?
A: He didn’t have a haunting license.

Q: Do you know what a ghost said when I first met him?
A: How do you boo?

Q: Do you know what Jack-o-lanterns are afraid of?
A: Things that go Pumpkin the night.

Q: Why are vampires like my dentures?
A: They always come out at night

Q: I ever tell you why the skeleton didn’t dance at my Halloween party?
A: He had no body to dance with.

Q: You remember who the most famous skeleton detective was, don’t you?
A: It was Sherlock Bones.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do you name a duck with fangs?
A: Quackula

Q: What do ghosts get at Dunkin’ Donuts in the morning?
A: Coffee with scream and sugar.

Q: What story do little ghosts like at bedtime?
A: Ghoul-dilocks and the Three Scares.

Q: Do you know why I never take coffee from a vampire?
A: It’s always de-coffin-ated.

Q: Guess what vampires take for a scratchy throat.
A: Coffin drops.

Q: Ever wonder why I don’t like vampires?
A: Because they suck!

Q: What do you call a red monster?
A: Elmo.

Q: What do you put on a monster’s Sundae?
A: Whipped scream.

Q: What do vampires never order at restaurants?
A: The stake dinner

Q: Do you know how I say goodbye to a vampire?
A: So long sucker

Q: Why was the Jack-o-lantern so naughty?
A: His candle was wicked.

Q: Why did the witch’s black cat throw up?
A: She was broom sick.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Do you know what kind of car I bought from a ghost?
A: It was a Boo-ick.

Q: I ever tell you why the vampire’s head popped after biting my father?
A: He had high blood pressure

Q: Who is the most famous French skeleton?
A: Napoleon bone-apart..

Q: Do you know why Jack-o-lanterns stay on people’s porches?
A: They have no hands to knock on the door.

Q: What did the vampire say to the Invisible Man?
A: Long time, no see.

Q: Remember which vampire always eats junk food?
A: Snackula.

Q: What’s orange and faster than a speeding train?
A: Super Pumpkin.

Q: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A: A rattler.

Q: Why was the candy corn afraid of Jimmy?
A: Because Jimmy cracks corn and he don’t care.

Q: Do you know why the Jack-o-lantern was afraid to cross the road?
A: It had no guts.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: Where do vampires keep their money?
A: The blood bank

Q: What do ghosts drink when they’re hot?
A: Ghoul-aid.

Q: How do skeletons contact other skeletons?
A: They use a telebone.

Q: You wanna know who the leader of Jack-o-lanterns is?
A: The Pumpking

Q: Guess who was the best dancer at the Halloween party.
A: The Boogie man.

Q: Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
A: Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.

Q: You know why Dracula is so unpopular?
A: Because he’s a pain in the neck!

Q: You ever hear what they called prehistoric ghosts?
A: Terror-dactyls.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which day of the week do me and ghosts like the least?
A: Moanday.

Halloween Jokes on your Phone or Device

Never search for clean Halloween jokes again – Download them now instead. Get EVERY Halloween joke you’ll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device – forever! #1 for Parents and Teachers! Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. Plus you’ll get a fun bonus – Halloween Lunch Box Jokes Printable (30+ Days of Jokes).