Thanksgiving Jokes

Sink your teeth into this collection of Thanksgiving jokes — they’re clean, kid-safe and fun for the whole family.

Before we get to the jokes, here are a few ways you can add some giggles and laughs to your Thanksgiving day celebration.

  • Make joke napkin rings! Cut strips of paper about 2″x5″ and write jokes on them. Tape the ends together and use them as napkin rings. Get creative – use colored paper, put turkey stickers on them or have the kids draw something cute.
  • Make placecards for the table with guest names on them. On the other side, put a joke or two.
  • Have the children do a little Thanksgiving day performance. If you have more than one kid, have one read the joke question and have the other answer it.
  • Make up 2 teams. Give each team a list of different jokes. Teams go back and forth telling each other a joke. Teams get a point for every joke they are able to answer. The team with the most points wins something — or the losing team has to do something funny, like sing a silly song.

Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

Thanksgiving Jokes
Every year, the president pardons a turkey, sparing it from being eaten on Thanksgiving. President Truman started the tradition in 1947.

Q: If pilgrims travel on the Mayflower, then what do college students travel on?
A: The Scholar Ships.

Q: How did the Pilgrams bring their cows to America?
A: On the Mooooo-flower.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an ghost?
A: A poultrygeist!

Q: What was the turkey in jail?
A: Fowl play.

Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like to listen to?
A: Plymouth Rock.

Q: Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey because he’s already stuffed!

Q: What kind of cars would pilgrims drive today?
A: Plymouth.

Q: Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
A: Because he was out standing in his field!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.

Q: Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing?
A: Because it will make him blush.

Q:What kind of tan did pilgrims get?
A: Puritan.

Q: What do you call Thanksgiving for selfish people?
A: Thanks-taking.

Q: Why don’t you put the turkey near the corn?
A: Because it will gobble, gobble, gobble it up.

Q: What kind of face do pilgrims make when they’re in pain?
A: Pil-grimace.

Q: What do comedians call thanksgiving?
A: Pranks-giving.

Q: What do pilgrim’s learn in school?
A: Pilgrammar.

Q: What do vampires call Thanksgiving?
A: Fangs-giving.

Q: Where did the first corn come from?
A: The stalk brought it.

Q: What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
A: The turKEY.

Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Q: If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?
A: A poul-tree.

Q: Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
A: They use fowl language.

Q: How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
A: I’ll tell you later.

Q: Why was the Thanksgiving dinner so expensive?
A: It had 24 carrots.

Q: What happened to the turkey who got into a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

Q: What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
A: Fowl weather!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
A: To show that he wasn’t chicken!

Q: What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
A: The letter G!

Q: What’s the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
A: Pilgram.

Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?
A: They suspected it of fowl play

Q: What do space station turkeys say?
A: Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chicken’s day off.

Q: What do you call the feathers on a turkey?
A: Turkey feathers

Q: What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
A: Your teeth.

Q: What do you call the evil being that comes to get pilgrims?
A: Pilgrim Reaper.

Q: What’s the most musical part of a turkey?
A: The drumstick.

Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break!

Q: Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course – buildings can’t jump at all.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Pilgrim with a cracker?
A: A Pilgraham.

Q: Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?
A: Because his belt buckle was on his hat.

More Jokes Continue Below

Q: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
A: Quack, Quack, Quack.

Q: When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary.

Q: How do you make a turkey float?
A: Root beer, a scoop of ice cream, and a turkey.

Q: What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey trot.

Q: If there were still Pilgrims alive today, what would they be famous for?
A: Their age!

Q: What’s a pilgrim’s mother called?
A: Pilgranny.

Q: What’s good about crossing a turkey with an octopus?
A: Everyone gets to have a drumstick.

Q: What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
A: Wing, Wing!

Q: Why did the music band need a turkey?
A: Because he had the drumsticks!

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey and a banjo?
A: A turkey that can pluck itself!

Q: What was the scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
A: Straw-berries!

Q: How did you send a turkey through the mail?
A: Bird class!

Q: What did the baby corn say to mama corn?
A: Where’s pop corn?

Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside!

Q: What smells the best on Thanksgiving?
A: Your nose.

Q: What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: A Har- VEST.

Q: What does Halloween and Thanksgiving have in common
A: One has goblins, the other has gobblers.

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi.

Q: What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?
A: Squash

Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break.

Q: Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
A: To hatchet.

Q: Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing?
A: Because it will make him blush.

Q: Where do you find a turkey with no legs?
A: Exactly where you left it…

Q: Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck on the turkey’s foot!

Q: What do space station turkeys say?
A: Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!

Q: What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on a barn roof?
A: An eggroll.

Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break!

Q: What did the mother say when her daughter asked to have a parrot for Christmas?
A: No – you’ll have turkey just like everyone else.

Q: What did the boy say when his Mom wanted his help to fix Thanksgiving dinner?
A: But I didn’t break it!

Q: What showed us how much the Mayflower liked America?
A: The way it hugged the shore.

Q: What do turkeys like to do on sunny days?
A: Have peck-nics!

Q: How are a turkey, a donkey, and a monkey alike?
A: They all have keys.

Q: When is turkey soup good bad for your health?
A: When you’re the turkey!

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What is it called when a turkey fumbles in football?
A: A fowl play

Q: Why did the turkey go to see a movie?
A: Because it had Gregory Peck in it.

Q: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler!

Q: Why did the cranberries turn red?
A: Because they saw the turkey dressing!

Q: What did the turkey say to the computer?
A: Google, google!

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
A: Drumsticks for everyone on Thanksgiving Day!

Q: What did one turkey say to the other when they saw the Pilgrims land at Plymouth rock?
A: They look nice. Maybe they’ll have us over for dinner.

Q: What sound does a limping turkey make?
A: Wobble, wobble!