Thanksgiving Jokes

Sink your teeth into this great collection of Thanksgiving jokes — they’re funny, clean and kid-safe  for the whole family.

You’ll find a wide range of jokes about Thanksgiving, including topics like Pilgrims, turkey and the Mayflower. You can also view all of our Thanksgiving related jokes on our Thanksgiving Joke Collections page.

Before we get to the jokes, here are a few ways you can add some giggles and laughs to your Thanksgiving day celebration.

  • Make joke napkin rings! Cut strips of paper about 2″x5″ and write jokes on them. Tape the ends together and use them as napkin rings. Get creative – use colored paper, put turkey stickers on them or have the kids draw something cute.
  • Make placecards for the table with guest names on them. On the other side, put a joke or two.
  • Have the children do a little Thanksgiving day performance. If you have more than one kid, have one read the joke question and have the other answer it.
  • Make up 2 teams. Give each team a list of different jokes. Teams go back and forth telling each other a joke. Teams get a point for every joke they are able to answer. The team with the most points wins something — or the losing team has to do something funny, like sing a silly song.

This page is stuffed with funny Thanksgiving jokes, but we have even more to explore in these Thanksgiving joke collections: Turkey Jokes, Pilgrim Jokes, Corn Jokes, Cranberry Jokes, Bread Jokes, Pumpkin Jokes, Sweet Potato Jokes, Potato Jokes and Thanksgiving Dinner Jokes.

Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

Thanksgiving Jokes
Every year, the president pardons a turkey, sparing it from being eaten on Thanksgiving. President Truman started the tradition in 1947.

Q: If pilgrims travel on the Mayflower, then what do college students travel on?
A: The Scholar Ships.

Q: How did the Pilgrims bring their cows to America?
A: On the Mooooo-flower.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an ghost?
A: A poultrygeist!

Q: Why was the turkey in jail?
A: Fowl play.

Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like to listen to?
A: Plymouth Rock.

Q: Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey because he’s already stuffed!

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What kind of cars would pilgrims drive today?
A: Plymouth.

Q: Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
A: Because he was out standing in his field!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.

Q: Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing?
A: Because it will make him blush.

Q:What kind of tan did pilgrims get?
A: Puritan.

Q: What do you call Thanksgiving for selfish people?
A: Thanks-taking.

Q: Why don’t you put the turkey near the corn?
A: Because it will gobble, gobble, gobble it up.

Q: What kind of face do pilgrims make when they’re in pain?
A: Pil-grimace.

Q: What do comedians call thanksgiving?
A: Pranks-giving.

Q: What do pilgrim’s learn in school?
A: Pilgrammar.

Q: What do vampires call Thanksgiving?
A: Fangs-giving.

Q: Where did the first corn come from?
A: The stalk brought it.

Q: What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
A: The turKEY.

Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Q: If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?
A: A poul-tree.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
A: They use fowl language.

Q: How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
A: I’ll tell you later.

Q: Why was the Thanksgiving dinner so expensive?
A: It had 24 carrots.

Q: What happened to the turkey who got into a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

Q: What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
A: Fowl weather!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
A: To show that he wasn’t chicken!

Q: What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
A: The letter G!

Q: What’s the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
A: Pilgram.

Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?
A: They suspected it of fowl play

Q: What do space station turkeys say?
A: Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chicken’s day off.

Q: What do you call the feathers on a turkey?
A: Turkey feathers

Q: What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
A: Your teeth.

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Q: What do you call the evil being that comes to get pilgrims?
A: Pilgrim Reaper.

Q: What’s the most musical part of a turkey?
A: The drumstick.

Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break!

Q: Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course – buildings can’t jump at all.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Pilgrim with a cracker?
A: A Pilgraham.

Q: Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?
A: Because his belt buckle was on his hat.

Q: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
A: Quack, Quack, Quack.

Q: When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary.

Q: How do you make a turkey float?
A: Root beer, a scoop of ice cream, and a turkey.

Q: What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey trot.

Q: If there were still Pilgrims alive today, what would they be famous for?
A: Their age!

Q: What’s a pilgrim’s mother called?
A: Pilgranny.

Q: What’s good about crossing a turkey with an octopus?
A: Everyone gets to have a drumstick.

Q: What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
A: Wing, Wing!

Q: Why did the music band need a turkey?
A: Because he had the drumsticks!

Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey and a banjo?
A: A turkey that can pluck itself!

Q: What was the scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
A: Straw-berries!

Q: How did you send a turkey through the mail?
A: Bird class!

Q: What did the baby corn say to mama corn?
A: Where’s pop corn?

Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside!

Q: What smells the best on Thanksgiving?
A: Your nose.

Q: What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: A Har- VEST.

Q: What does Halloween and Thanksgiving have in common
A: One has goblins, the other has gobblers.

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi.

Q: What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?
A: Squash

Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break.

Q: Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
A: To hatchet.

Q: Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing?
A: Because it will make him blush.

Q: Where do you find a turkey with no legs?
A: Exactly where you left it…

Q: Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck on the turkey’s foot!

Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do space station turkeys say?
A: Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!

Q: What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on a barn roof?
A: An eggroll.

Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break!

Q: What did the mother say when her daughter asked to have a parrot for Christmas?
A: No – you’ll have turkey just like everyone else.

Q: What did the boy say when his Mom wanted his help to fix Thanksgiving dinner?
A: But I didn’t break it!

Q: What showed us how much the Mayflower liked America?
A: The way it hugged the shore.

Q: What do turkeys like to do on sunny days?
A: Have peck-nics!

Q: How are a turkey, a donkey, and a monkey alike?
A: They all have keys.

Q: When is turkey soup good bad for your health?
A: When you’re the turkey!

Q: What is it called when a turkey fumbles in football?
A: A fowl play

Q: Why did the turkey go to see a movie?
A: Because it had Gregory Peck in it.

Q: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler!

Q: Why did the cranberries turn red?
A: Because they saw the turkey dressing!

Q: What did the turkey say to the computer?
A: Google, google!

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
A: Drumsticks for everyone on Thanksgiving Day!

Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did one turkey say to the other when they saw the Pilgrims land at Plymouth rock?
A: They look nice. Maybe they’ll have us over for dinner.

Q: What sound does a limping turkey make?
A: Wobble, wobble!

This is just a portion of all of the Thanksgiving Jokes we have for you! You’ll find even more jokes relating to Thanksgiving on our Thanksgiving Joke Collections page. You’ll find Pilgrim Jokes, turkey jokes, Thanksgiving jokes, Corn jokes, Bread jokes, Cranberry Jokes and more.

Check All of Our Joke Collections Below ↓ ↓