Monster jokes for kids and adults of any age. Clean monster jokes, monster Puns, monster riddles, one-liners and knock-knock jokes about monsters.
This great collection of funny jokes about monsters is perfect for Halloween or anytime.
These monster jokes are popular with parents, teachers, Halloween party hosts, candy givers, school staff, bus drivers – and children of all ages.
If you’re looking for specific types of monsters, scary creatures or Halloween jokes, check these out: ghost jokes, ghoul jokes, witch jokes, werewolf jokes, Frankenstein jokes, Bigfoot Jokes, Zombie Jokes, Mummy Jokes, Cyclops Jokes, Boogeyman Jokes, Demon Jokes, and Halloween Jokes.
Monster Jokes for Kids
Q: What hangs from monster trees?
A: Frankenvines.
Q: What do monsters order with a sandwich?
A: Ghoulslaw.
Q: Why are mummies the best detectives?
A: They know how to wrap up a mystery.
Q: Why did Frankenstein’s Monster ask for a check-up?
A: He felt stiff all over.
Q: Why is Frankenstein’s Monster always smiling?
A: The doctor keeps him in stitches.
Q: Why did the monster need lip balm?
A: His lips were Kraken.
Q: What is it called when a Monster takes control of your airplane?
A: A terror-flying experience!
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Skully.
Skully who?
Skully-ton is bone-shakin’ at your door!
Who’s there?
Tyson.
Tyson who?
Tyson garlic around your neck to protect yourself from vampires.
Q: How did the mummy get so sticky?
A: He dressed in GUM wrappers.
Q: What do you do when 10 boogeyman are at your front door?
A: Hope it’s Halloween.
Q: Why were the children upset with Dracula when they played baseball together?
A: All he wanted to do was bat.
Q: What is a dangerous way to reach the attic of a haunted house?
A: The Monstairs.
Q: Why did the teenage vampires go into a cave?
A: To hang out…
Q: What did Dracula wear during the baseball game?
A: His batting helmet.
Q: Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch?
A: He couldn’t spell.
I often wondered why Frankenstein only shopped on black Friday… I guess it was for the monsterous sales.
Q: What sport do giant monsters play around trick or treaters?
A: Squash!
Q: What should you say when you bump into an angry two headed monster?
A: Bye, Bye!
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch witch is which?
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Witches.
Witches who?
Witches the way to the haunted house.
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Vampire.
Vampire who?
Vampire state building.
Q: Why did the werewolf go to bed early?
A: He was dog-tired!
Q: Why do cyclopes get along so well?
A: They always see eye to eye.
Q: What has horns, long fangs and can fly?
A: A rampire.
Legend says that a Bigfoot can grow up to 15 feet… but they usually just have two…
Q: Why did the monster knit herself three socks?
A: Because she had three feet.
Q: Which monsters hibernate all winter?
A: The bearwolf.
Q: Who is the brightest monster?
A: Frankenshine.
Q: What do zombies read every morning?
A: Their HORRORscope.
Q: When do monster cattle howl?
A: During a bull moon…
Q: What vampire always eats junk food?
A: Snackula.
Q: Where do monsters like to go for a hike?
A: Death valley!
Q: What treat did the cyclops eat on hot summer days?
A: Eyes-Cream.
Q: What did the grandfather monster say to his grandson after not seeing him for a year?
A: You gruesome…
We thought it was serious when Sasquatch hurt his foot because it can take so long to HEEL.
Q: What tree-monster prowls the forest?
A: Frankenpine.
Q: What monster never loses at card games?
A: Draculuck.
Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
A: His ghoul friend.
Q: What do monsters turn on during the summer?
A: The scare conditioner.
Q: What is a monster’s favorite sweet treat?
A: Ghoul scout cookies.
Q: Why didn’t Dracula go to the barbecue party?
A: They were making steaks (stakes).
Q: What type of lock does Dracula have on his castle door?
A: A dead bolt lock.
Q: What did the critics say about Frankenstein’s art project?
A: It’s a monsterpiece.
I wasn’t surprised to see the demon getting along so well with the ghoul… they always say that demons are a ghouls best friend.
Q: What time is it when a huge monster sits on your car?
A: Time to get a new car.
Q: Do monsters eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
Q: What type of monster loves dance music?
A: The boogeyman.
Q: What’s a monsters favorite variety of bean?
A: Human beans.
Q: Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster Halloween party?
A: Everyone there was a goblin.
Q: What kind of car do huge monsters drive?
A: A monster truck.
Q: Why are monsters covered with lots of wrinkles?
A: It’s too hard to iron a monster.
Q: What is the best way to speak to a monster?
A: From far away.
Q: What do you do with a very green monster?
A: Wait until it’s ripe.
Q: How do you keep a little monster in suspense?
A: I’ll tell you later.
Q: What does Dracula wear on his head when he flies out?
A: His batting helmet.
Q: Why are monsters green?
A: They eat too much candy and feel sick.
Q: What position do monsters play on soccer teams?
A: Ghoulie.
Q: Where can you find a lot of monsters?
A: On sesame street.
Q: How do you greet a 3-headed monster?
A: Hello, hello, hello.
Q: Why did the invisible man go on stage?
A: To perform his vanishing act.
Q: Why did the dark monster eat a mini flash light?
A: Because he wanted a light snack.
Q: Why did Dracula run out of the Italian restaurant?
A: They put garlic on his pizza.
Q: What kind of horses do monsters ride?
A: Night mares.
Q: What do you say when you meet a two headed monster?
A: Hello, hello.
Q: What kind of monster has the best hearing?
A: The eeriest one.
Q: What kind of hot dogs do monsters like best?
A: Hallowieners.
Q: What do little monsters like to ride on at the amusement park?
A: The scary-go-round.
Q: What do you say when you meet a scary two headed monster?
A: Bye, Bye.
Q: What do you call a red monster?
A: Elmo.
Q: What kind of vampire does dangerous somersaults?
A: An acrobat.
Q: Who is the messiest monster?
A: Slopzilla.
Q: Where does Judge Dracula work?
A: The night court.
Q: What do you call a giant yellow monster with a beak?
A: Big bird.
Q: What kind of shoes do spy ghouls wear?
A: Sneaky sneakers.
Q: What do you call a 15 year old monster?
A: A High sGhoul Student.
Q: Why did the werewolf go to bed early?
A: He was dog-tired.
Q: What little monster chicken is very creepy?
A: The Grim Peeper.
Q: What huge scary Japanese monster is a rap singer?
A: Godzilla Ice.
Q: What do monsters like to eat with a sand-witch?
A: Ghoulslaw.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up there is a monster after me!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Ice Cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream when I see monsters.
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Juan.
Juan who?
Juan Eyed Monster.
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke at the big monster behind you!
Q: What was the dramatic monster’s favorite play?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet.
Q: What monster might you see if you open up a metal garbage can?
A: Oscar the grouch.
Q: Why did the vampires go into the cave?
A: To hang out.
Q: What did the mummy detective say when he figured out the case?
A: It’s time to wrap up this mystery.
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Cyclops.
Cyclops who?
Cyclops at the door – ahhhhh!
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Eva.
Eva who?
Eva see a monster under your bed?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Haden.
Haden who?
Haden out so the monster doesn’t get me.
Q: When do monsters like to have parties?
A: On Halloween.
Q: Which monster might you find at the end of a book?
A: Grover.
Q: Why was the monster feeling sick?
A: It ate too much Halloween candy.
Q: Where do monsters go swimming?
A: In the dead sea.
Q: What kind of car does a elephant size monster drive?
A: A monster truck.
Q: How do monsters like their eggs?
A: Terror-fried.
Q: What is a monster’s favorite summer drink?
A: Demonade.
Q: Why did the slimy monster cross the road?
A: To get to the other slime.
Q: What kind of monster has two mouths?
A: The one with two heads.
Q: What monster tree prowls the forest?
A: Frankenpine.
Q: When do monsters eat breakfast?
A: In the moaning.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry monster coming to get you.
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Chuck.
Chuck who?
Chuck and see if there are any monsters outside.
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Candy.
Candy who?
Candy vampire really turn into a bat?
Q: Who do you call when you need a monster?
A: Monsters, Inc.
Monster: Where do fleas go in winter?
Werewolf: Search me!
Q: What song do monsters love to hear?
A: The Monster mash.
Q: What did the monster like on his sundae?
A: Whipped scream.
Q: Who is woolly and has curved fangs?
A: A Rampire.
But wait, there’s more! Check out these related topics: ghost jokes, ghoul jokes, witch jokes, werewolf jokes, Frankenstein jokes, Bigfoot Jokes, Zombie Jokes, Mummy Jokes, Cyclops Jokes, Boogeyman Jokes, Demon Jokes, and Halloween Jokes.
