Funny Christmas tree jokes for the whole family! These are the best Christmas tree jokes anywhere. These clean Christmas tree jokes are safe for kids of all ages. You’ll also find Christmas tree riddles, puns and knock-knock jokes.
These jokes about Christmas trees are perfect for parents, Christmas tree farm workers, Santa’s helpers, teachers, babysitters, children and adults.
These jokes are sure to bring a smile – especially when you’re trimming and decorating a Christmas tree. They’re also funny to write inside of a Christmas card.
Looking for craft ideas for Christmas trees? Cut Christmas tree shapes out of paper, write some silly Christmas tree riddles on them, color them and hang them up. Tape them up all over your home, classroom or school hallway so everyone can get a laugh!
Some of the most popular Christmas trees include: Scotch Pine, Sugar Pine, White Spruce, Norway Spruce, Blue Spruce, Balsam Fir, Douglas Fir and Noble Fir.
If you’re looking for more winter holiday jokes, then check out our other collections: Christmas Jokes, Santa Jokes, Elf Jokes and Snowman Jokes (and Frosty the Snowman Jokes).
Christmas Tree Jokes
Q: Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble with the umpire?
A: Too much pine tar on his bat.
Q: Why are Christmas trees more noticible on Christmas?
A: They have more presence.
Q: How can you identify a Christmas tree?
A: By its bark – woof!
Q: How did the Christmas tree get in trouble?
A: It was knotty.
Q: What did the Balsam Fir say when he was picked up from the tree farm?
A: Christmas be my lucky day!
Q: Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?
A: Wood-row Wilson
Q: Why do Christmas trees make such wonderful pets?
A: They have a great bark, but wooden bite.
Q: Why are there so many Christmas trees at the North Pole.
A: BeClaus, why not?
Q: How was the Christmas tree like a bad seamstress?
A: They both drop needles
Q: What did the Christmas tree do after it’s bank closed?
A: It started his own branch.
Q: How do you turn a Christmas tree into a reindeer?
A: You put on HORNaments.
Christmas Tree Humor
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to decorating school?
A: So it could spruce up the forest.
Q: What don’t you want your dog to run into over Christmas vacation?
A: The Christmas Flea.
Q: What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather?
A: It’s shadow.
Q: What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?
A: Been nice gnawing you.
Q: What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties?
A: Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow…
Q: How many Christmas trees can you plant on an empty farm?
A: One, because then the farm isn’t empty anymore.
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling green.
Q: How are Christmas trees like blockbuster movies?
A: They both have stars.
Q: What do Christmas tree’s wear at the pool?
A: Swim trunks.
Q: Why was the Christmas tree hosting the awards show?
A: He really knew how to present.
Q: Why don’t Christmas trees ever pollute?
A: They are ever green.
Q: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?
A: The Captain’s log.
Q: How do Christmas trees make their feelings heard?
A: They O-pine.
Q: What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree?
A: Faux fir.
Q: What is the most frustrating thing about being a Christmas tree?
A: Having so many limbs and not being able to walk.
Q: What happens to Christmas trees on Valentine’s Day?
A: They get all sappy.
Q: How did the two rival Christmas trees get along?
A: They signed a peace tree-ty
Q: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape?
A: A treeangle.
Q. Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?
A. Because a Christmas tree doesn’t have legs
Q: How many pine cones grow on a Christmas tree?
A: All of them.
Q: What looks like half a Christmas tree?
A: The other half.
Q: What do you call it when Christmas tree’s boycott something?
A: A Christmas tree stand.
Clean Christmas Tree Jokes
Q: How can you tell if you have a girl Christmas tree?
A: Look for the tree skirt.
Q: Which side of a Christmas tree has the most needles?
A: The outside.
Q: Why did the boy put ice cream under the Christmas tree?
A: To go with the pine cones.
Q: How can Christmas trees grow so big?
A: When they get enough rein, deer.
Q: How do Christmas trees get their email?
A: They log-on.
Q: How can you get down from a Christmas tree?
A: You can’t… down comes from ducks.
Q: Why can’t Christmas trees sew?
A: They always drop their needles.
Q: Why was the Christmas tree’s friend so sad?
A: It was a weeping willow.
Q: Which Canadian city is a favorite vacation spot for Christmas trees?
A: Montreeal.
Q: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite subject in high school?
A: Treegonometree.
Q: What gets one year older when it rings?
A: A Christmas tree.
Q: Which type of Christmas tree is green, has a trunk and leaves?
A: A Christmas tree going on vacation.
Q: What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?
A: May the forest be with you.
Q: Where do young trees learn to become Christmas trees?
A: In elementree school.
Q: Why didn’t the Christmas tree perform well on it’s algebra test?
A: It got stumped by the problems.
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist?
A: It needed a root canal.
Q: What do ornaments do on Christmas trees.
A: Not much, they just hang out.
Q: What city did the Christmas tree want to move to?
A: Garland
Q: Which month of the year don’t Christmas trees like?
A: Sep-timber.
Q: How did the boy cut down the Christmas tree without going near it?
A: He saw it with his own two eyes.
Q: What did the Jedi say to the Christmas tree?
A: May the forest be with you.
Q: What kind of coats do Christmas trees wear?
A: Fir.
Q: Why do Christmas trees make such great receivers in football?
A: They have sticky fingers.
Q: What was the fitness trainer best at during the Christmas season?
A: Trimming the tree!
Christmas Tree Knock-Knock Jokes
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Angel
Angel who?
Angel on top of my Christmas tree.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Atch
Atch who?
Bless you – are you allergic to Christmas trees?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Candy.
Candy who?
Candy canes hanging on the Christmas tree.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dish is a nice place to put a Christmas tree.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Eve.
Eve who?
Christmas Eve we decorate our tree.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Iona.
Iona who?
Iona Christmas ornament.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Kanya
Kanya who?
Kanya help me find a Christmas tree.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Decora.
Decora who?
Decorating the Christmas tree.
Check out our huge collections of Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes and Christmas Jokes.
