Apple Jokes are great for the fall apple season and we have a huge collection of apple jokes here!
If you’re looking for jokes about apples, then you’re going to love this. You’ll also find apple puns, apple riddles, apple knock-knock jokes and more.
Not only are there a bushel-load of funny apple jokes here, but they are clean apple jokes for kids of all ages. Perfect for parents, teachers, apple farmers, grocers and everyone who enjoys apples – which is just about everyone.
Apples come to mind a lot during the autumn months, but these jokes about apples are good any time of year! You can also find more apple humor here: Apple Puns, apple pie jokes, apple riddles.
Fun facts about apples: The top apple-producing states in America are Washington, New York, Michigan, Pennsylvania, California and Virginia. Washington produces the most with a whopping two-thirds of the total amount grown. The apple tree originated in Central Asia and have been grown for thousands of years in Asia and Europe. Apples were brought to North America by European colonists.
Apple Jokes
Q: Who led all the apples to the bakery?
A: The Pie Piper
Q: Why did the football player miss the game?
A: He had Appled hamstring.
Q: What is Darth Vader’s favorite fruit?
A: Empire apples.
Q: When is an apple grouchy?
A: When it’s a crab apple.
Q: What kind of apples do they grow in the Magic Garden?
A: Paula red.
Q: Why couldn’t Bob the Builder eat the apple?
A: Because it was Adam’s apple.
Q: What type of a computer do horses like to eat?
A: McIntosh computers
Q: Why did the apple pie cry?
A: It’s peelings were hurt!
Q: Who was the pie’s favorite pop star?
A: Apple Pie Spice
Q: What kind of apples do they serve on the death star?
A: Empire apples.
Clean Apple Jokes
Q: Why did the Granny Smith apple cry?
A: It’s peelings were hurt.
Q: What kind of apple isn’t an apple?
A: A pineapple.
Q: What did the apple skin say to the apple who couldn’t afford bus fare?
A: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered
Q: Where do yellow jackets go to watch the big game?
A: Apple-Bees.
Q: Why was the apple afraid of the milk?
A: The milk went bad.
Q: What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?
A: It can look round.
Q: Which apple tennis player was famous for arguing about calls?
A: John McIntosh.
Q: Why didn’t the boy choose the apple over the pear?
A: He like the apple butter.
Q: What kind of apples do they eat in the desert?
A: Camel apples. (caramel apples)
Q: Why did the yam get along so well with the apple?
A: They were both candied.
Q: What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate his apple pie too fast?
A: Stop goblin your dessert.
Q: Why did the apple join the circus?
A: He loved all the apple-ause.
Apple Jokes for Kids
Q: Why did the apple pie go to a dentist?
A: Because it needed a filling.
Q: Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States?
A: Because they would become American – as apple pie.
Q: Why didn’t the worm go on Noah’s ark in an apple?
A: Everyone had to go in pears (pairs).
Q: What kind of apple throws the best parties?
A: Gala apples.
Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm.
Q: Why was the apple pie so happy?
A: It won first pies in the contest.
An Apple a Day Jokes
My Grandma always used to say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but that may just be one of Granny’s myths.
People who don’t think an apple a day keeps the doctor away just aren’t very good at throwing apples.
Q: If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, then what does garlic do?
A: Keeps everyone away!
Apple Jokes for Teachers
Q. What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A. Apple Pi.
Q: Why did the school library have a basket of apples?
A: For the bookworms.
Q: Where do apples go to college?
A: SUNY Cortland.
Q: What did the student say to the gym teacher so he could be excused from class?
A: Appled a muscle in my leg!
Apple Riddles
Riddle: If it took six kids six hour to eat all the apples in the apple orchard, how many hours would it take three kids?
A: None, because the first six kids have already eaten them all.
Riddle: If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?
A: Keeps everyone away.
Q: What kind of pie did George Washington’s mom make?
A: Apple pie – because the cherry tree was gone.
Q: What avid reader lives in an apple?
A: A bookworm.
Q: Why did the apple turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Q: What’s is an Egyptian apple pie?
A: The kind mummy used to make.
Q: What’s the difference between a worm and an apple?
A: Have you ever tried worm pie?
Q: Where do yellow delicious go to see musicals?
A: The big apple.
Q: What dessert do they serve at the King’s castle?
A: Apple pie a la moat.
Q: How do you make an apple turnover?
A: Roll it down a hill.
Q: When is an apple pie grouchy?
A: When it’s made with crab apples!
Q: What type of apple do pirates always look for?
A: Jonagold.
Q: What did the worm want to do when he grew up?
A: Join the Apple Core (Corps).
Q: What did the apple pie say after thanksgiving?
A: Good-pie everyone.
Q: What do you call an apple with gas?
A: A tooty fruity.
Q: What did the red delicious say when it won the talent contest?
A: How about them apples?
Q: What’s the most musical apple?
A: Jazz apples.
Q: What did Johnny Appleseed put on his spaghetti?
A: Apple sauce.
Q: What did the apple say to the pie baker?
A: Use cherries instead.
Q: Why did the apple pie cross the road?
A: It saw a fork up ahead.
Q: Where do apples like to go climbing?
A: Mount Fuji.
Q: What kind of apple did Charlie Brown get for the red-haired girl?
A: Ginger gold.
Q: What do you get when you cross an apple pie with a Christmas tree?
A: Pineapple pie.
Q: What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A: Pineapple.
Q: How are you supposed to talk in the apple library?
A: With your incider voice.
Q: What do you get when you cross a train engine with an apple pie ?
A: Puff pastry.
Q: Which type of apple works for the NSA?
A: Northern Spy apples.
Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
Q: How was Luke Skywalker told to defeat the Empire apples?
A: He had to use the forks.
Q: What is Winnie the Pooh’s favorite fruit?
A: Honeycrisp apples.
Q: Which type of apple only makes brief appearances.
A: Cameo apples.
Q: Who makes the best apple pies in the family?
A: Granny Smith.
Q: What do you get when you cross an apple pie with a shellfish?
A: A crab apple pie.
Q: Why did the hornet serve honeycrisp apples?
A: Bee cause.
Q: How many grams of protein are in a slice of apple pi?
A: 3.14159265
Q: What did the apple pie say to the pecan pie?
A: You’re Nuts!
Q: What did the apple tree say to the hungry caterpillar?
A: Leaf me alone.
Q: What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?
A: It can look round.
Q: What do you call an apple with bees in it?
A: A bapple.
Q: How do you make an apple turnover?
A: Push it down a hill.
Q: What kind of pie has a short temper?
A: A crab apple pie.
Q: What did the annoyed worm reply when he was asked “what’s eating you?” by his friend?
A: Worms – worms are eating me.
Apple Jokes One Liners
A was surprised to see an apple stopped in the middle of the road, but I overheard that it ran out of juice.
I saw a man eating apples at the bank because he wanted to eat rich food.
My wife said cinnamon was the best thing to put into an apple pie, but I told her my teeth were…
I always wondered why crab apples have such a short temper…
Top 10 Apple Jokes
Q: Why did the apple join the circus?
A: It loved all the apple-ause.
Q: What do you get when you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A: A crab apple.
Q: What apple isn’t an apple?
A: A pineapple.
Q: How many pastry chefs does it take to make an apple pie?
A: 3.14.
Q: What did the apple say to the almond?
A: You’re nuts.
Q: What kind of apple grows on Christmas trees?
A: Pine apples.
Q: What did Paula Red eat at the barbecue?
A: She ate apple-d pork sandwich.
Q: Which monster is red, round and comes out in Autumn?
A: Frankenapple.
A: How do apples communicate with each other?
Q: With their pie-phones.
Q: How did the investor know Apple’s stock was going to go up?
A: He had incider information.
Apple Knock Knock Jokes
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple a rabbit out of a hat.
