Funny Presidents’ Day Jokes, puns, riddles, knock-knock jokes and more.
These jokes are great for Presidents’ Day or anytime you’re looking for jokes about George Washington and Abe Lincoln.
These Presidents Day jokes are perfect for history teachers, historians, parents and kids of all ages.
Presidents’ Day is a national holiday in the United States on the third Monday in February. It is a day dedicated primarily to honoring George Washington and Abraham Lincoln — but it is also a day to celebrate the lives of U.S. presidents (See Presidents Day from Kids Encyclopedia).
Presidents Day Jokes
Q: What did Abe Lincoln put on his pancakes?
A: Lincoln Log Cabin Syrup.
Q: What’s the most popular automobile brand for presidents?
A: Lincoln.
Q: What did they call George Washington’s false teeth?
A: Presidentures.
Q: Why did George Washington have problems sleeping?
A: Because he couldn’t lie.
Q: What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
A: It can’t sit down…
Q: Which rock group has four men who don’t sing?
A: Mount Rushmore.
Q: How was George Washington able to be so healthy?
A: He had a strong constitution.
Q: What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware?
A: Get in the boat…
Q: What did the Stamp Act do?
A: Helped Americans lick the British.
Q: What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
A: Libertea
Q: Where did George Washington purchase his hatchet?
A: At a chopping mall.
Q: What would George Washington be if he were alive today?
A: A very, very old man.
Q: Who was the youngest US president?
A: BABE Lincoln.
Q: If you crossed a zucchini with our first president, what would you get?
A: George Squashington.
Q: What US president had long legs, a beard, and smelled foul?
A: Abraham Stinkoln.
Q: Why didn’t George Washington’s father yell at him for chopping down the cherry tree?
A: Because George was still holding the axe…
Q: What would you get if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president?
A: Ape Lincoln.
Q: Where did they sign the Declaration Of Independence?
A: At the bottom…
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Abraham Lincoln .
Abraham Lincoln who?
Seriously? You must have done terrible in history class…
Q: What was the most popular dance in 1776?
A: Indepen-dance.
Q: What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cow food?
A: The fodder of our country… (fodder is animal feed)
Q: Why did George Washington have the soldier arrested?
A: For committing Valley Forgery…
Q: Why aren’t there many Civil War jokes?
A: People General Lee don’t find them funny…
Q: What’s the difference between a platypus and George Washington?
A: One has a bill on his fact, the other has his face on a bill.
Q: How did George Washington describe things?
A: In general terms.
Q: Why was George Washington always pictured standing up?
A: Because he never lied.
Q: Who was the funniest person in George Washington’s army?
A: Laughayette.
Q: Which US president was able to clean up government wrongdoing?
A: WASHington.
