Thanksgiving Jokes

Thanksgiving Jokes for kids and adults of all ages. Over 100 clean Thanksgiving jokes, riddles, puns, knock-knock and one-liners. Sink your teeth into these funny Thanksgiving jokes during the Thanksgiving holiday season.

These Thanksgiving jokes are great for teachers, parents, American history buffs, children and anyone interested in pilgrims, colonists, turkey, holiday food, the Mayflower and things that go along with Thanksgiving day in America.

We hope you enjoy these Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids and make sure to share some Thanksgiving humor with friends and family. Also please look below the final joke on this page for links to 1000’s of additional Thanksgiving jokes that are sorted by category, such as Pilgrim Jokes and Turkey Jokes.

Jokes for Thanksgiving

  1. Q: If pilgrims travel on the Mayflower, then what do college students travel on?
    A: The Scholar Ships.
  2. Q: Why did the farmer steamroll his potato field before Thanksgiving?
    A: He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.
  3. Q: Where did they take the Mayflower when it was sick?
    A: The nearest doc.
  4. Q: What might you say to someone who won an award for the best Thanksgiving Succotash recipe?
    A: Corn-gratulations! (Succotash is a dish that includes sweet corn)
  5. Q: How did Mayflower sailors say hello to each other?
    A: They waved.
  6. Q: How did the Pilgrims bring their cows to America?
    A: On the Mooooo-flower.
  7. Q: What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an ghost?
    A: A poultrygeist!
  8. Shopper: Do these frozen turkeys get any bigger?
    Grocery Store Worker: Sorry, but they stopped growing…
  9. Q: Why was the turkey in jail?
    A: Fowl play.
  10. Q: What should you never serve at Thanksgiving dinner?
    A: Cranberry jellyfish.

Thanksgiving Kids Jokes

Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like to listen to?
A: Plymouth Rock.

Q: Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey because he’s already stuffed!

Thanksgiving Jokes
Every year, the president pardons a turkey, sparing it from being eaten on Thanksgiving. President Truman started the tradition in 1947.

Q: What kind of cars would pilgrims drive today?
A: Plymouth.

Q: What do you use to make Thanksgiving bread?
A: May flour.

Q: How did they clean their clothes on the Mayflower?
A: Tide!

Q: Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
A: Because he was out standing in his field!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing?
A: Because it will make him blush.

Q: What kind of tan did pilgrims get?
A: Puritan.

Q: What do you call Thanksgiving for selfish people?
A: Thanks-taking.

Q: Why don’t you put the turkey near the corn?
A: Because it will gobble, gobble, gobble it up.

Q: What kind of face do pilgrims make when they’re in pain?
A: Pil-grimace.

Q: What do comedians call thanksgiving?
A: Pranks-giving.

Q: What do pilgrim’s learn in school?
A: Pilgrammar.

Before we continue with our Thanksgiving humor, here are a few ways you can add some giggles and laughs to your Thanksgiving day celebration.

Jokes Napkin Rings. Make joke napkin rings! Cut strips of paper about 2″x5″ and write jokes on them. Tape the ends together and use them as napkin rings. Get creative – use colored paper, put turkey stickers on them or have the kids draw something cute. Here’s a nice tutorial on how to make Thanksgiving Napkin Rings.

Joke Place-Cards. Make place-cards for the table with guest names on them. On the other side, put a joke or two for your guest to enjoy.

Thanksgiving Day Show. Have children (or anyone) do a little Thanksgiving day performance. If you have more than one willing performer, then have one read the joke question and have the other answer it.

Thanksgiving Day Game. Make up 2 teams. Give each team a list of different riddles. Teams go back and forth telling each other a joke. Teams get a point for every joke they are able to answer. The team with the most points wins something — or the losing team has to do something fun, like sing a song.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Thanksgiving Riddles

Q: What did the cranberry say to the Thanksgiving turkey?
A: Nothing. Cranberries can’t talk.

Q: What do vampires call Thanksgiving?
A: Fangs-giving.

Q: Where did the first corn come from?
A: The stalk brought it.

Q: What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
A: The turKEY.

Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Q: What did the cook say after receiving a compliment for the Thanksgiving Corn Bread she baked?
A: Aw, shucks… (fyi: to shuck corn is to remove the husks around the cob)

Q: What did the Mayflower sailors play when they were bored?
A: Cards – because they always have a deck.

Q: If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?
A: Apoul-tree.

Q: Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
A: They use fowl language.

Q: How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
A: I’ll tell you later.

Q: Why was the Thanksgiving dinner so expensive?
A: It had 24 carrots.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What happened to the turkey who got into a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

Q: What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
A: Fowl weather!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
A: To show that he wasn’t chicken!

Q: What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
A: The letter G!

Q: What’s the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
A: Pilgram.

Alert: There are more funny Thanksgiving Puns below! See if you can spot them.

Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?
A: They suspected it of fowl play

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do space station turkeys say?
A: Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chicken’s day off.

Q: What do you call the feathers on a turkey?
A: Turkey feathers

Q: What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
A: Your teeth.

Q: What do you call the evil being that comes to get pilgrims?
A: Pilgrim Reaper.

Q: What’s the most musical part of a turkey?
A: The drumstick.

Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break!

Q: Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course – buildings can’t jump at all.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Pilgrim with a cracker?
A: A Pilgraham.

Q: Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?
A: Because his belt buckle was on his hat.

Q: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
A: Quack, Quack, Quack.

Q: When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary.

Q: How do you make a turkey float?
A: Root beer, a scoop of ice cream, and a turkey.

Q: What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey trot.

Q: If there were still Pilgrims alive today, what would they be famous for?
A: Their age!

Q: What’s a pilgrim’s mother called?
A: Pilgranny.

Q: What won’t a turkey eat cranberries on Thanksgiving?
A: They’re already stuffed.

Q: What’s good about crossing a turkey with an octopus?
A: Everyone gets to have a drumstick.

Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

Q: What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
A: Wing, Wing!

Q: Why did the music band need a turkey?
A: Because he had the drumsticks!

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey and a banjo?
A: A turkey that can pluck itself!

Q: What was the scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
A: Straw-berries!

Q: How did you send a turkey through the mail?
A: Bird class!

Q: What did the pumpkin say after thanksgiving?
A: Good-pie everyone.

Q: Why was the Thanksgiving dinner host in trouble?
A: For breaking bread.

Q: What did the Pilgrims decorate their Thanksgiving table with pretty pumpkins?
A: They thought they looked gourdgeous.

Q: What did the baby corn say to mama corn?
A: Where’s pop corn?

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside!

Q: What smells the best on Thanksgiving?
A: Your nose.

Q: What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: A Har-VEST.

Q: What do Halloween and Thanksgiving have in common
A: One has goblins, the other has gobblers.

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi.

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes

Q: What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?
A: Squash

Q: What does a pumpkin pie say after Thanksgiving dinner?
A: That was filling.

Q: Who do gourds invite to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: Their Pump-KIN.

Q: What dance did the Pilgrims do on Thanksgiving?
A: The mashed potato! (the mashed potato is actually a dance from the 1960’s)

Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break.

Q: Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
A: To hatchet.

Q: Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing?
A: Because it will make him blush.

Q: Where do you find a turkey with no legs?
A: Exactly where you left it…

Q: Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck on the turkey’s foot!

Q: What do space station turkeys say?
A: Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!

Q: What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on a hill?
A: An eggroll.

Dad Jokes for Thanksgiving

Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break!

Q: What did the boy say when his Mom wanted his help to fix Thanksgiving dinner?
A: But I didn’t break it!

Q: What key can’t open any locks?
A: A turkey.

Q: What showed us how much the Mayflower liked America?
A: The way it hugged the shore.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do turkeys like to do on sunny days?
A: Have peck-nics!

Q: How are a turkey, a donkey, and a monkey alike?
A: They all have keys.

Q: When is turkey soup bad for your health?
A: When you’re the turkey!

Q: What is it called when a turkey fumbles in football?
A: A fowl play

Q: Why did the turkey go to see a movie?
A: Because it had Gregory Peck in it.

Q: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler!

Q: When did Mayflower sailors eat dinner?
A: Maritime.

Q: Why was the Mayflower sailor put in a time-out?
A: He was naughty-cal.

Q: Why did the cranberries turn red?
A: Because they saw the turkey dressing!

Q: What did the turkey say to the computer?
A: Google, google!

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
A: Drumsticks for everyone on Thanksgiving Day!

Q: What did one turkey say to the other when they saw the Pilgrims land at Plymouth rock?
A: They look nice. Maybe they’ll have us over for dinner.

Q: What sound does a limping turkey make?
A: Wobble, wobble!

This page is stuffed with funny Thanksgiving jokes – but we have thousands more to explore in these Thanksgiving joke collections: Turkey Jokes, Pilgrim Jokes, Mayflower Jokes, Corn Jokes, Cranberry Jokes, Bread Jokes, Pumpkin Jokes, Corn Bread Jokes, Gravy Jokes, Sweet Potato Jokes, Potato Jokes and Thanksgiving Dinner Jokes and all of our categories of Jokes for Thanksgiving.

Halloween Jokes on your Phone or Device

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