Apple Jokes

This is a huge collection of apple jokes! If you’re looking for jokes about apples, then you’re going to love this.

Not only are there a bushel-load of funny apple jokes here, but they are clean and safe for kids of all ages. Perfect for parents, teachers, apple farmers, grocers and everyone who enjoys apples – which is just about everyone.

Apples come to mind a lot during the autumn months, but these jokes about apples are good any time of year!

Fun facts about apples: The top apple-producing states in America are Washington, New York, Michigan, Pennsylvania, California and Virginia. Washington produces the most with a whopping two-thirds of the total amount grown. The apple tree originated in Central Asia and have been grown for thousands of years in Asia and Europe. Apples were brought to North America by European colonists.

Jokes about Apples

Q: Who led all the apples to the bakery?
A: The Pie Piper

Q: Why did the football player miss the game?
A: He had Appled hamstring.

Q: What is Darth Vader’s favorite fruit?
A: Empire apples.

Q: When is an apple grouchy?
A: When it’s a crab apple.

Q: What kind of apples do they grow in the Magic Garden?
A: Paula red.

Q: Why couldn’t Bob the Builder eat the apple?
A: Because it was Adam’s apple.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What type of a computer do horses like to eat?
A: McIntosh computers

Q: Why did the man eat apples at the bank?
A: He wanted to eat rich food.

Q: Why did the apple pie cry?
A: It’s peelings were hurt!

Q: Who was the pie’s favorite pop star?
A: Apple Pie Spice

Q: What kind of apples do they serve on the death star?
A: Empire apples.

Q: Why did the Granny Smith apple cry?
A: It’s peelings were hurt.

Q: What kind of apple isn’t an apple?
A: A pineapple.

Q: If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?
A: Keeps everyone away.

Q: What did the apple skin say to the apple who couldn’t afford bus fare?
A: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered

Q: Where do yellow jackets go to watch the big game?
A: Apple-Bees.

Q: What reads and lives in apples?
A: Bookworms.

Q: Why was the apple afraid of the milk?
A: The milk went bad.

Q: What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?
A: It can look round.

Q: Which apple tennis player was famous for arguing about calls?
A: John McIntosh.

Q: Where do apples go to college?
A: SUNY Cortland.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why didn’t the boy choose the apple over the pear?
A: He like the apple butter.

Q: What kind of apples do they eat in the desert?
A: Camel apples. (caramel apples)

Q: Why did the yam get along so well with the apple?
A: They were both candied.

Q: What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate his apple pie too fast?
A: Stop goblin your dessert.

Q: Why did the apple join the circus?
A: He loved all the apple-ause.

Q: Why did the apple pie go to a dentist?
A: Because it needed a filling.

Q: Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States?
A: Because they would become American – as apple pie.

Q: Why didn’t the worm go on Noah’s ark in an apple?
A: Everyone had to go in pears (pairs).

Q: What kind of apple throws the best parties?
A: Gala apples.

Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm.

Q: Why was the apple pie so happy?
A: It won first pies in the contest.

Q: If it took six kids six hour to eat all the apples in the apple orchard, how many hours would it take three kids?
A: None, because the first six kids have already eaten them all.

Q: What avid reader lives in an apple?
A: A bookworm.

Q: Why did the apple turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.

Q: What’s is an Egyptian apple pie?
A: The kind mummy used to make.

Q: What kind of pie did George Washington’s mom make?
A: Apple pie – because the cherry tree was gone.

Q: What’s the difference between a worm and an apple?
A: Have you ever tried worm pie?

Q: Where do yellow delicious go to see musicals?
A: The big apple.

Q: What dessert do they serve at the King’s castle?
A: Apple pie a la moat.

Q: How do you make an apple turnover?
A: Roll it down a hill.

Q: Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.

Q: When is an apple pie grouchy?
A: When it’s made with crab apples!

Q: What type of apple do pirates always look for?
A: Jonagold.

Q: What did the worm want to do when he grew up?
A: Join the Apple Core (Corps).

Q: What did the apple pie say after thanksgiving?
A: Good-pie everyone.

Q: What do you call an apple with gas?
A: A tooty fruity.

Q: What did the red delicious say when it won the talent contest?
A: How about them apples?

Q: What’s the most musical apple?
A: Jazz apples.

Q: What did Johnny Appleseed put on his spaghetti?
A: Apple sauce.

Q: What did the apple say to the pie baker?
A: Use cherries instead.

Q: Why did the apple pie cross the road?
A: It saw a fork up ahead.

Q. What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A. Apple Pi.

Q: Where do apples like to go climbing?
A: Mount Fuji.

Q: What kind of apple has a short temper?
A: The crab apple.

Q: What kind of apple did Charlie Brown get for the red-haired girl?
A: Ginger gold.

Q: What do you get when you cross an apple pie with a Christmas tree?
A: Pineapple pie.

Q: What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A: Pineapple.

Q: How are you supposed to talk in the apple library?
A: With your incider voice.

Q: What do you get when you cross a train engine with an apple pie ?
A: Puff pastry.

Q: Which type of apple works for the NSA?
A: Northern Spy apples.

Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

Q: How was Luke Skywalker told to defeat the Empire apples?
A: He had to use the forks.

Q: What is Winnie the Pooh’s favorite fruit?
A: Honeycrisp apples.

Q: Which type of apple only makes brief appearances.
A: Cameo apples.

Q: Who makes the best apple pies in the family?
A: Granny Smith.

Q: What do you get when you cross an apple pie with a shellfish?
A: A crab apple pie.

Q: Why did the hornet serve honeycrisp apples?
A: Bee cause.

Q: What’s the best thing to put into an apple pie?
A: Your teeth.

Q: How many grams of protein are in a slice of apple pi?
A: 3.14159265

Q: What did the apple pie say to the pecan pie?
A: You’re Nuts!

Q: What did the apple tree say to the hungry caterpillar?
A: Leaf me alone.

Q: What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?
A: It can look round.

Q: What do you call an apple with bees in it?
A: A bapple.

Q: How do you make an apple turnover?
A: Push it down a hill.

Q: What kind of pie has a short temper?
A: A crab apple pie.

Q: What did the annoyed worm reply when he was asked “what’s eating you?” by his friend?
A: Worms – worms are eating me.

Q: Why did the apple join the circus?
A: It loved all the apple-ause.

Q: What do you get when you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A: A crab apple.

Q: What apple isn’t an apple?
A: A pineapple.

Q: How many pastry chefs does it take to make an apple pie?
A: 3.14.

Q: What did the apple say to the almond?
A: You’re nuts.

Q: What kind of apple grows on Christmas trees?
A: Pine apples.

Q: What did Paula Red eat at the barbecue?
A: She ate apple-d pork sandwich.

Q: Which monster is red, round and comes out in Autumn?
A: Frankenapple.

A: How do apples communicate with each other?
Q: With their pie-phones.

Q: How did the investor know Apple’s stock was going to go up?
A: He had incider information.