Zombie jokes, zombie puns and riddles, zombie knock-knock jokes and more. If you’re looking for clean zombie jokes, then we have you covered.
This collection features funny jokes about zombies for parents, teachers, kids and adults of all ages. They’re good anytime – but especially around Halloween.
Zombie jokes can be told on Halloween to trick-or-treaters. Zombie riddles can be put inside of lunch boxes for a little midday giggle. Zombie knock-knock jokes are also fun for kids who are trick-or-treating. If you’re having a Halloween party, tell some of these zombie jokes to your guests.
Kids have been introduced to the world of zombies thanks go games like Plants vs. Zombies. All of these jokes are clean and kid-friendly, but take a look at them first just in case you have a sensitive child.
Zombie Jokes
Q: What type of dogs do zombies like the most?
A: Bloodhounds.
Q: What kind of cheese do zombies like to eat?
A: Zom-BRIE.
Q: Why didn’t the zombie audition for the talent show?
A: He didn’t have the guts…
Q: What do they use to clean the ice during the Halloweenland hockey game?
A: A Zombie-oni
Q: When do you see the most zombies?
A: Halloween.
Q: How do zombies find out about their future?
A: They check their horror-scope.
Q: How do zombies keep their hair from getting messy?
A: They use SCARE Spray.
Q: Why do zombies speak Latin?
A: Because it’s a dead language!
Q: What does it take to become a zombie?
A: Deadication.
Q: Why did the zombie quit his teaching job?
A: He only had one pupil left.
Q: What do they grow in the Halloweenland garden?
A: Zombeets.
Zombie Jokes for Kids
Q: What do you get when you cross a zombie and a snowman?
A: Frost-Bite.
Q: What do you call zombie twins?
A: DEAD ringers.
Q: What do zombies read every morning?
A: Their HORRORscope.
Q: Who did the zombie take out on a date?
A: His Ghoul-friend.
Q: What time do zombies wake up in the morning?
A: Ate o’clock.
Q: Who do Cowboy zombies fight?
A: The DEADskins.
Q: Do zombies eat brains with their fingers?
A: Nope – they eat the fingers separately.
Q: What does a zombie get when he’s late for dinner?
A: The cold shoulder.
Q: In what way are zombies like computers?
A: They both use megabites.
Q: Where do zombies go to vacation?
A: The DEADiterranean.
Q: Who won the zombie race?
A: Nobody – it was a dead heat.
Q: What was the zombie’s favorite toy?
A: His Deady bear.
Q: How do zombies keep their hair in place?
A: They use SCARE spray.
Q: What kind of candy do zombies hate most?
A: Life Savers.
Q: What kind of car do zombies drive?
A: Monster trucks.
Q: What did one zombie say after eating a comedian?
A: This tastes funny.
Q: Why did the Zombie join the army?
A: He heard they give out arms.
Q: Why didn’t the zombie get the acting role?
A: They wanted someone more lively.
Q: What is black, white & dead all over?
A: A zombie penguin.
Zombie Jokes for Teachers in School
Q: Why did the zombie comedian get booed off the stage?
A: Because all the jokes he told where rotten.
Q: Why did the zombie go nuts?
A: He lost his mind.
Q: What is the safest place to be during a zombie attack?
A: A living room.
Q: Do zombies eat French fries with their fingers?
A: Nope, they eat the fingers separately.
Q: How can you tell if a zombie is tired?
A: He’s just dead on his feet.
Q: Which Smurf is most afraid of zombies?
A: Brainy Smurf.
Q: What do you call a zombie bite when you’re out in the snow?
A: A frostbite.
Q: How do zombies say when they greet new people?
A: Pleased to eat you…
Q: Who did the zombie take to the movies?
A: His ghoulfriend.
Q: How does a group of zombies come up with a plan?
A: They brain storm!
Q: Where do zombies take a bath?
A: In the Dead Sea.
A zombie cut me off when I was driving… I thought it would be a bad idea to give him a piece of my mind.
Q: What do zombies yell on December 31st?
A: Happy New Fear!
Q: What room can you never hide in to avoid a zombie?
A: A mush-room.
Q: Why did the zombie stay home from work?
A: He felt rotten.
Q: What do you do if there’s a zombie at your door?
A: Hope it’s Halloween!
