Tree Jokes

These funny tree jokes are sure to bring some smiles!

If you’re looking for jokes about trees, then this is the collection for you!

These tree jokes are great for parents, teachers, arborists, nature lovers, botanists, students and children of all ages.

You’ll also find some fun tree puns and riddles about trees.

Funny Tree Jokes

Q: Why are dogwood trees such wonderful pets?
A: They have a great bark, but wooden bite.

Q: Why were so many people sitting under the tree?
A: It was poplar.

Q: How do two rival forests get along?
A: They sign a peace tree-ty

Q: What looks like half a tree?
A: The other half.

Q: Which tree grows chicken?
A: Poultree.

Q: What did the tree say after he made an offer?
A: Take it or leaf it.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What was the tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?
A: The Captain’s log.

Q: What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree?
A: Faux fir.

Q: What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?
A: Absent without leaf.

Q: What happens when a tree falls into mud?
A: It leafs an impression.

Q: What happens to maple trees on Valentine’s Day?
A: They get sappy.

Q: What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas?
A: It took a leaf of absence.

Q: Which side of a cherry tree has the most leaves?
A: The outside.

Q: What did the little tree say to the bully tree?
A: Leaf me alone.

Q: How old was the tiny tree?
A: Near-leaf five

Q: What do you give to a thirsty tree?
A: Lemon-aid.

Q: Why didn’t the tree hunt?
A: It was against his beleafs.

Q: How can you identify a dogwood tree?
A: By its bark.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why was the pine tree in trouble?
A: It was knotty.

Q: Which tree do cowboys love most?
A: The horse chestnut tree.

Q: Why did the boy fall out of the tree?
A: He was told to rake the leaves.

Q: How do trees make themselves heard?
A: Amp-leaf-ication.

Q: What’s big, grey and falls from trees in Autumn?
A: Eleafant

Q: What type of fish falls from trees?
A: Jel-leaf-ish.

Q: How do trees get online?
A: They log in.

Q: What do vain trees do to get rid of wrinkles?
A: Get a faceleaft

Q: Why was the tree arrested?
A: For shopleafting

Q: How can you get down from a tree?
A: You can’t – down comes from a duck.

Q: Why can’t pine trees sew?
A: They always drop their needles.

Q: How do trees contact one another?
A: By teleafone

Q: What is the saddest tree?
A: The weeping willow.

Q: What type of tree fits in one hand?
A: A palm tree.

Q: Where do squirrels go during the summer?
A: beech trees.

Q: What was the tree’s favorite school subject?
A: Treegonometree.

Q: What weighs more, a pound of leaves or a pound of logs?
A: Neither, they both weigh one pound.

Q: How did the apple tree get the job?
A: It had the right qua-leaf-ications.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: How do you open a locked tree?
A: Call a hemlocksmith.

Q: What does Obi-Wan Kenobi say after he plants a tree?
A: May the forest be with you.

Q: Where do saplings get an education?
A: In elementree school.

Q: Why do trees do poorly on math tests?
A: They get stumped by the problems.

Q: Why did the Sugar Maple go to the dentist?
A: He needed a root canal.

Q: Which month do trees like the least?
A: Sep-timber.

Q: What did the tree do after the bank closed?
A: He started his own branch.

Q: Why did the evergreen tree go to decorating school?
A: So it could spruce up the forest.

Q: How do nut trees travel through a forest?
A: They take the psycho path.

Q: What’s as big as a tree but weighs nothing?
A: The tree’s shadow.

Q: What did the beaver say to the tree?
A: Been nice gnawing you.

Q: How many trees can you plant in an empty forest?
A: One. It’s not empty anymore after that.

Q: Why did the leaf go to the school nurse?
A: It was feeling green.

Q: Why do fig-mulberry trees miss more school than other trees?
A: Because they are sycamore.

Q: What did the tree wear to the beach?
A: Swim trunks.

Q: What did the Jedi say to the tree?
A: May the forest be with you.

Q: Which trees wear winter coats?
A: Fir trees.

Q: Where do you find forests without trees?
A: On a map.

Q: How do you describe a tree who steals things?
A: Shady.

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