Pittsburgh Pirates Baseball Jokes

Funny jokes for Pittsburgh Pirates fans and baseball fans of all ages!

This is a collection of the best Pittsburgh Pirates jokes anywhere!

These jokes about the Pirates baseball team are great for parents, teachers, Pittsburgh Pirates fans, baseball coaches, babysitters and kids of all ages.

Throwing a Pittsburgh Pirates party? These jokes about the Pittsburgh Pirates will bring lots of laughs. Write them on pieces of paper or Post-it notes and spread them around the home, work or in a lunch box. Do a stand-up routine or print them out and do a joke karaoke during the 7th inning stretch.

Did you know…

The Pittsburgh Pirates have been around a long time. They joined the National League in 1887 and won 3 titles from 1901 to 1903. The Pirates played in the first World Series in 1903 and won their first World Series in 1909. In 1886, as the Pittsburgh Alleghenys, they turned the first 3-4-2 triple play in Major League history!

Pittsburgh Pirate Jokes

Q: Which baseball team’s players keep repeating themselves when they speak?
A: Pittsburgh Parrots.

Q: Why did Clint Hurdle only want frogs in the outfield?
A: They never miss a fly.

Q: What do you get when you cross Iván Nova with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.

Q: How do Pittsburgh Pirates baseball players stay cool?
A: By standing close to the fans.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the Pittsburgh Pirates team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.

Q: Which Pittsburgh Pirates player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.

Q: Where does Jameson Taillon go to dance?
A: At a base ball!

Q: What did Elías Díaz say to the baseball?
A: Catch you later.

Q: Why was it so hard to get Clint Hurdle on the phone?
A: Because he left the phone off the hook.

Q: Why do Pittsburgh Pirates love Thanksgiving?
A: That get to carrrrrve the turkey.

Q. What runs around a PNC Park’s field but never moves?
A: A fence

Q: Why did the police officer go to the Pittsburgh Pirates game?
A: He heard that someone stole second base.

Q: Why instrument does Josh Bell play in his band?
A: The guitarrrrrr.

Q: Where did the baseball player wash his pants?
A: In the bleachers.

Q: Why do Pittsburgh Pirate players like playing golf?
A: To see if they can stay under parrrrrrr.

Q: What exercise do Pittsburgh Pirate players use to tighten their abs?
A: Planks.

Q: Who is the Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirates?
A: Captain Hook!

Q: Why are Pittsburgh Pirates players so rich?
A: Because they play on diamonds.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which football team was chasing the Pittsburgh Pirates?
A: The Bucaneers.

Q: What does Ryan Lavarnway wear on halloween?
A: A Face Mask. (He plays catcher)

Q: Why couldn’t Chris Archer play cards?
A: Because he was sitting on the deck.

Q: Did you tell Jordan Luplow the joke about the pop fly?
A: Don’t – it will just go over his head.

Q: What’s is Jordy Mercer’s favorite movie?
A: Booty and the Beast.

Q: What job did the Pittsburgh Pirate player have during the winter?
A: He was an arrrrrrrtist.

Q: What is harder for Colin Moran to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!

Q: Why did the Corey Dickerson go to acting school?
A: He wanted a parrrrrrt in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

Q: Where do you put the trash in a Pittsburgh Pirate dugout?
A: The garrrrrrrrrrrbage can.

Q: Why do Pittsburgh Pirates hit so many foul balls?
A: He hook the ball a lot.

Q: What is a Joe Musgrove’s favorite color?
A: Gold!

Q: Which Pittsburgh Pirate skipped practice?
A: Captain Hooky

Q: Which baseball team did Blue Beard play for?
A: The Pittsburg Pirates.

Q: What do Pittsburgh Pirates get for take out on Friday?
A: Swordfish.

Q: What did Kevin Newman do when the coach said to steal second?
A: He grabbed the base and took it home.

Q: How much do you charge a Pittsburgh Pirate to pierce their ears?
A: A buck an ear.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which Pittsburgh Pirates baseball player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!

Q: Why does it take Pittsburgh Pirate players so long to get out of the locker room after a game?
A: It takes time to scrub off the barrrrrrnacles.

Q: When should Pittsburgh Pirates players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.

Q: What restaurant do Pittsburgh Pirates like to eat at the most?
A: The Harrrrrrd Rock Cafe.

Q: How much does it cost to have Chris Archer on your team?
A: An arm and a leg.

Q: How does Felipe Vasquez save a game?
A: With C-P-ARRRRRRRRR.

Q: Which restaurant do Pittsburgh Pirates go to after a game?
A: Long John Silver’s.

Q: Why should you never take a pea from a Pittsburgh Pirate?
A: They become irate.

Q: Why does it take Adam Frazier longer to run from 2nd base to 3rd base than from 1st base to 2nd base?
A: Because there is a short stop in the middle.

Q: What’s kind of punch do Pittsburgh Pirate players throw?
A: Left hooks.

Q: Where shouldn’t a Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher ever wear red?
A: In the bull pen.

Q: Which cartoon character was Jeff Branson trying to get on the team?
A: Homer Simpson.

Q: Which Star Wars character tried out for the Pittsburgh Pirates?
A: Aarrrrggh-2-D-2

Q: What do Pittsburgh Pirate players do on Black Friday?
A: Shop the sails.

Q: Why is Clint Hurdle like an angry chicken?
A: They both have fowl mouths.

Q: Which fast food restaurant do Pittsburgh Pirates like the most?
A: Arrrrrr-by’s

Q: What kind of soda do they keep on ice in the Pittsburgh Pirate’s locker room?
A: Arrrrrrr Sea cola (RC Cola)

Q: What do Pirates players do in the off season?
A: Barrrrrrrr-B-Que.

Q: Why did the Francisco Cervelli go to the car dealer?
A: He wanted a sales pitch.

Q: What do you call a Pittsburgh player with three eyes?
A: A piiirate

Q: What couldn’t the Pirate’s play at night?
A: It was too darrrrrrrrrrk.

Q: What do you get when you cross a tree with a Pittsburgh Pirates baseball player?
A: Babe Root.

Q: What do Pittsburgh fans do after a win?
A: Have parrrrrrrrrties.

Q: How is the Pittsburgh Pirates roster similar to a pancake?
A: They both need good batters.

Q: Why was the Pirates jersey so cheap?
A: It was on sail.

Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: The Pittsburgh Pirates.

Q: How do Pittsburgh Pirate fans get down from the bleachers?
A: They don’t – you only get down from a goose.

Q: How do Pittsburgh Pirates baseball players stay cool?
A: By sitting next to the fans.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: How does Clint Hurdle talk to an ump?
A: Aye to aye.

Q: What does Elías Díaz put his food on?
A: Home plate.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the baseball!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bass.
Bass who?
Bass-ball is my favorite sport.

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