Gourd Jokes

This is the best collection of funny gourd jokes you’ll find anywhere.

These clean gourd jokes are good anytime – but are especially popular during the fall because pf Thanksgiving and Halloween (also see: Halloween Jokes and Jack-o-Lantern jokes).

Our gourd jokes are great for parents, teachers, farmers, gardeners, cooks and children of all ages. Pumpkins are a member of the gourd family and are also considered winter squash – so you’ll find jokes about pumpkins on this page too (or find more here: Pumpkin Jokes).

Gourd Jokes

Q: What sports star did Canadian pumpkins always cheer for?
A: Gourd-ie Howe

Q: What did the orange pumpkin say to the green gourd?
A: You look a little sick.

Q: What did the gourd say to the green pumpkin?
A: Why orange you orange?

Q: What do all winter squash have attached to them when they’re born?
A: An umbilical gourd.

Q: How do gourds get to so strong?
A: By pumpkin iron.

Q: What kind of gourd grows on trees?
A: Plumkins

Q: Who helps young winter sqash cross the road safely?
A: The crossing gourd.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What indoor sport do gourds play to stay in shape when it’s snowing outside?
A: Winter Squash.

Q: What’s black, white, orange and waddles?
A: A penguin carrying a pumpkin.

Q: What do you call an athletic gourd?
A: A jock o’ lantern.

Q: What do you call an overweight gourd?
A: A Plumpkin.

Q: Why were the two gourds so close?
A: They had deep roots.

Q: When asked how he was feeling, what did the gourd say?
A: I’m vine, thanks for asking.

Q: Why do gourds sit on people’s porches?
A: They have no hands to knock on the door.

Q: What are gourds afraid of?
A: Things that go Pumpkin the night.

Q: What do adventurous winter squash do for fun?
A: Go bungee gourd jumping.

Q: Why was Cinderella not very good at softball?
A: Because her coach was a pumpkin.

Q: Which famous pumpkin saved the day against Ming the Mercilous?
A: Flash Gourd-on

Q: How did the gourd pay for things?
A: It used pumpkin bread.

Q: How do you fix a gourd?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What did the pumpkin say after thanksgiving?
A: Good-pie everyone.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What does a pumpkin pie say after a big meal?
A: That was filling.

Q: What veggie does a gourd become when an elephant steps on it?
A: Squash.

Q: What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?
A: Use apples instead.

Q: What’s orange and goes choo-choo?
A: A Pumpkin in Train-ing.

Q: What’s orange and faster than a speeding bullet?
A: Super Pumpkin.

Q: When asked how he was feeling, what was the gourd’s reply?
A: I’m vine, how are you?

Q: What do you call a gourd’s family members?
A: Pump-kin.

Q: When is a gourd not a gourd?
A: When you drop it – then it’s a squash.

Q: What kind of animal loves pumpkins?
A: Orange-atans.

Q: What’s the best thing to put in a pumpkin pie?
A: Your teeth.

Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the pumpkin patch?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.

Q: Who did the gardener say when his squash went missing?
A: There’s pumpkin strange happening around here…

Q: Who is the leader of all gourds?
A: The Pumpking

Q: Why are pumpkins so orange?
A: Syracuse is their favorite team.

Q: Why did the gourd turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Pumpkin.
Pumpkin who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Pumpkin.
Pumpkin who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Pumpkin.
Pumpkin who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say pumpkin again?

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: When is an orange not an orange?
A: When it’s a pumpkin.

Q: What was the gourd’s favorite sport?
A: Squash.

Q: How are gourds like cats?
A: They’re often waiting on the porch for you when you get home.

Q: What do you call a pretty pumpkin?
A: Gourdgeous.

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a gourd by it’s diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi.

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