This is the best collection of funny gourd jokes you’ll find anywhere.
Our gourd jokes are great for parents, teachers, farmers, gardeners, cooks and children of all ages. Pumpkins are a member of the gourd family and are also considered winter squash – so you’ll find jokes about pumpkins on this page too (or find more here: Pumpkin Jokes).
Q: What sports star did Canadian pumpkins always cheer for?
A: Gourd-ie Howe
Q: What did the orange pumpkin say to the green gourd?
A: You look a little sick.
Q: What did the gourd say to the green pumpkin?
A: Why orange you orange?
Q: What do all winter squash have attached to them when they’re born?
A: An umbilical gourd.
Q: How do gourds get to so strong?
A: By pumpkin iron.
Q: What kind of gourd grows on trees?
Q: Who helps young winter sqash cross the road safely?
A: The crossing gourd.
More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓
Q: What indoor sport do gourds play to stay in shape when it’s snowing outside?
A: Winter Squash.
Q: What’s black, white, orange and waddles?
A: A penguin carrying a pumpkin.
Q: What do you call an athletic gourd?
A: A jock o’ lantern.
Q: What do you call an overweight gourd?
A: A Plumpkin.
Q: Why were the two gourds so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Q: When asked how he was feeling, what did the gourd say?
A: I’m vine, thanks for asking.
Q: Why do gourds sit on people’s porches?
A: They have no hands to knock on the door.
Q: What are gourds afraid of?
A: Things that go Pumpkin the night.
Q: What do adventurous winter squash do for fun?
A: Go bungee gourd jumping.
Q: Why was Cinderella not very good at softball?
A: Because her coach was a pumpkin.
Q: Which famous pumpkin saved the day against Ming the Mercilous?
A: Flash Gourd-on
Q: How did the gourd pay for things?
A: It used pumpkin bread.
Q: How do you fix a gourd?
A: With a pumpkin patch.
Q: What did the pumpkin say after thanksgiving?
A: Good-pie everyone.
Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓
Q: What does a pumpkin pie say after a big meal?
A: That was filling.
Q: What veggie does a gourd become when an elephant steps on it?
Q: What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?
A: Use apples instead.
Q: What’s orange and goes choo-choo?
A: A Pumpkin in Train-ing.
Q: What’s orange and faster than a speeding bullet?
A: Super Pumpkin.
Q: When asked how he was feeling, what was the gourd’s reply?
A: I’m vine, how are you?
Q: What do you call a gourd’s family members?
Q: When is a gourd not a gourd?
A: When you drop it – then it’s a squash.
Q: What kind of animal loves pumpkins?
Q: What’s the best thing to put in a pumpkin pie?
A: Your teeth.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the pumpkin patch?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Q: Who did the gardener say when his squash went missing?
A: There’s pumpkin strange happening around here…
Q: Who is the leader of all gourds?
A: The Pumpking
Q: Why are pumpkins so orange?
A: Syracuse is their favorite team.
Q: Why did the gourd turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Orange you glad I didn’t say pumpkin again?
More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓
Q: When is an orange not an orange?
A: When it’s a pumpkin.
Q: What was the gourd’s favorite sport?
Q: How are gourds like cats?
A: They’re often waiting on the porch for you when you get home.
Q: What do you call a pretty pumpkin?
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a gourd by it’s diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi.
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