Clean St. Patrick’s Day jokes, knock knock, one liners, St. Paddy’s Day puns and more. The best Saint Patrick’s Day jokes collection that you’ll find online.
Funny leprechaun jokes, shamrock jokes, jokes about St. Patrick and more. Great jokes for St. Paddy’s Day parties!
St. Patrick’s Day is a day that people all over the world celebrate – even if they’re not Irish! Some common traditions include wearing green clothing, painting shamrocks on faces, dancing and having fun. It’s also a day for enjoying Irish food – it is, after all, the Feast of Saint Patrick.
You also hear a lot about leprechauns on St. Patrick’s Day. A leprechaun is a type of Irish fairy. They usually have beards, and are dressed in green with black hats. They are known to be mischievous. You can read more at the Kids National Geographic St. Patrick’s Day page.
Something we think everyone should add to their St. Paddy’s Day list is to tell lots of funny St. Patrick Day jokes — like these fun jokes for celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day!
Saint Patrick’s Day Jokes
Q: What do sailors yell when they first see an Irish shoreline?
A: IreLand Ho!
Q: Who’s the world’s tallest leprechaun?
A: The Jolly Green Giant!
Q: What did the Cheerio say to it’s sweetheart on St. Paddy’s Day?
A: You’re my lucky charm.
Q: What type of bow can’t a leprechaun tie?
A: A rainbow.
Q: What basketball team do leprechauns cheer for?
A: The Celtics.
Q: Why can’t Irish golfers ever end a game?
A: They refuse to leave the green.
Q: How do you pay for soft drinks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: With soda bread.
Q: What should you say to a runner in the St. Patrick’s Day marathon?
A: Irish you luck
Q: Why was St. Patrick given a desk job when he became a policeman?
A: He was too green to go out on patrol.
Q: Why were all the leprechauns still complaining in April about it raining on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because Irish stew.
Q: What do Irishmen say when you tell them Bono is your favorite singer?
A: You too?
Q: What did Yogi Berra say on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: It ain’t clover til it’s clover… (Yogi Berra is famous for saying “It ain’t over til it’s over”)
Q: Why didn’t St. Patrick visit the farmer to tell him a secret?
A: He wanted to avoid his shepherd spy. (shepherd’s pie)
Q: What kind of spells do leprechaun witches cast?
A: Lucky Charms!
Q: Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
A: They’re really into green living.
Q: Why did the boy lock himself in his house on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: He heard there might be leper cons running around.
Q: What did the Irish referee say when the soccer match ended?
A: Game clover.
Q: How did St. Patrick light up the field when the power went out during the night game?
A: With a soccer match.
Q: What was the leprechaun’s favorite cereal?
A: Lucky charms
Q: What do hockey players celebrate in March?
A: Saint hat-tricks day!
Q: Why was the leprechaun trying to find gamma rays?
A: He wanted to look like the Hulk.
Q: Where can you always find gold on St. Patty’s Day?
A: In the dictionary
Q: What did the baby find at the end of the rainbow?
A: A Potty Gold.
Q: When does Valentine’s Day come after St. Patrick’s Day?
A: In the dictionary.
Q: Who was St. Patrick’s favorite super hero?
A: Green Lantern.
Q: What did St. Patrick order to drink at the Chinese restaurant?
A: Green tea.
Q: Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover?
A: You don’t want to press your luck.
Q: What do you get when you cross four leaf clovers with poison ivy?
A: A big rash of good luck
Q: What did the Irish potato say to his sweetheart?
A: I only have eyes for you
Q: Why are so many leprechauns gardeners?
A: They have green thumbs!
Q: What happens when a leprechaun falls into a pool of water?
A: He gets wet.
Q: When isn’t an Irish potato an Irish potato?
A: When it’s a French fry
Q: Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
A: To get to the pot of gold
Q: Why does the River Shannon have so much money in it?
A: Because it has 2 banks.
Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Real rocks are too heavy to wear!
Q: Why did Saint Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A: Because he couldn’t afford the train fare.
Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: They’re always a little short.
Q: How did the leprechaun beat the Irish man to the pot of gold?
A: He took a short cut.
Q: Why do leprechauns hate sports?
A: They prefer jigging than jogging
Q: Why did the leprechaun go outside?
A: To sit on his paddy-o
Q: What job did the leprechaun have at the restaurant?
A: He was a short-order cook
Q: What did one Irish ghost say to the other Irish ghost?
A: Top O’ the moaning to you
Q: What position did the leprechaun play on the baseball team?
A: Shortstop
Q: Why did the leprechaun turn down the bowl of potato chowder?
A: He already had pot of gold
Q: What do you call a leprechaun who goes to prison?
A: A lepre-con
Q: Why do leprechauns prefer dollar bills over coins?
A: Because they’re green!
Q: What type of bow can’t be tied?
A: A rain-bow
Q: What is it called when you do the wrong Irish dance?
A: A jig mistake
Q: How can you spot a jealous shamrock?
A: It’s green with envy
Q: Why do frogs like Saint Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they’re already wearing green
Q: What do you call an Irish arachnid?
A: Paddy long legs
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A Sham-rock
Q: How can you tell if a leprechaun likes your joke?
A: He’s Dublin over with laughter!
Q: Why did the leprechaun climb the rainbow?
A: To get to the other slide
Q: What do leprechauns leave out on their lawn all summer?
A: Paddy O’Furniture
Q: Why do leprechauns like to recycle?
A: So they can stay green
Q: How could you tell when St. Patrick was having a good time?
A: He would be Dublin over with laughter.
Q: How do you describe someone who is jealous of St. Patrick?
A: They’re green with envy.
Child: I met an Irish boy at the St. Patrick’s Day party.
Parent: Oh, really?
Child: No, O’Reilly.
Q: What musical instrument do show-off musicians play on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: They play on their brag-pipes.
Q: What do leprechauns love to barbecue?
A: Short ribs.
Q: What was St. Patrick’s favorite kind of music?
A: Sham-rock and roll.
Q: What do you call leprechauns who collect cans and plastic?
A: Wee-cyclers.
Q: What does it mean when you find a horse shoe on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: That someone’s horse is walking around with only 3 shoes!
Q: What do you call a fake diamond on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Where can you always find gold on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: In the dictionary.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone?
A: A pilow sham rock
Q: What stays out all night at St. Patrick’s house?
A: His Paddy O’furniture.
Q: What did the leprechaun call the happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
Q: What happened when St. Patrick fell into the Shannon river?
A: He got wet.
Q: What would you get if you crossed Kris Kringle with St. Patrick?
A: Saint O’Claus.
Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A: They’re very short-tempered.
Q: Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?
A: To stop himself from falling into the Irish stew.
Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A: He couldn’t afford plane tickets for each of them.
Q: What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
Q: How did the leprechaun beat everyone else to the pot of gold?
A: He took a short cut.
Q: Why do leprechauns make such good secretaries?
A: They’re great at short hand.
Q: What is a yadkcirtapts?
A: St Patricks Day spelled backwards.
Q: What did the leprechaun say on March 17?
A: Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
Q: What is long and green and only shows up once a year?
A: The St. Patrick’s Day Parade
Q: What does Ireland have a lot of?
A: Irish people!
Q: Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
A: To get to the pot of gold.
Q: What position do leprechauns play on a baseball team?
A: Shortstop.
Q: What do you call a leprechaun who has been in jail?
A: A lepre-con.
Q: How is a good friend like a 4-leaf clover?
A: They’re both hard to find and lucky to have.
Knock Knock Jokes for St. Paddy’s Day
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Aaron.
Aaron who?
Aaron go bragh!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boy.
Boy who?
Boy do I love St. Paddy’s Day!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Clover.
Clover who?
Clover here and I’ll tell you.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cora.
Cora who?
Coran beef and cabbage.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Don.
Don who?
Don be puttin’ down the Irish.
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Erin.
Erin who?
Erin go Bragh!
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Erin.
Erin who?
Erin as fast as I could but couldn’t catch the leprechaun.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ireland.
Ireland who?
Ireland you money if you promise to pay me back.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ireland.
Ireland who?
Ire land you in time-out, so be nice.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you a Happy Saint Patrick’s Day.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish I could find a 4-leaf clover.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish soda bread had chocolate chips in it…
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Irish stew.
Irish stew who?
Irish stew in the name of the law.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Leper.
Leper who?
Leper con and I’m here to pinch you.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pat.
Pat who?
Pat your coat on – let’s go to the St. Patrick’s Day parade.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Patty.
Patty who?
Patty ‘o furniture.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Potto.
Potto who?
Potto gold.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Rain.
Rain who?
Rainbow leads to a pot o’ gold.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Saint.
Saint who?
Saint no time for questions, open the door!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Shepherd.
Shepherd who?
Shepherd spy is watching you…
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Warren
Warren who
Warren anything green today?
Want more knock knock jokes for St. Patrick’s Day? Visit our page here: St. Patrick’s Day Knock Knock Jokes.
After reading these St. Patrick’s Day jokes, lots of people also look for: St. Patrick’s Day Puns, Leprechaun Jokes, Jokes about the color green, Shamrock Jokes, 4-Leaf Clover Jokes, and all of our St. Patrick’s Day Joke Collections.
