Sailing Jokes

These funny Sailing jokes are great for sailors, boat lovers, parents, families and children.

The jokes about sailing on this page are clean and safe for all ages.

Heading out to go sailing or going on a cruise? Pack some fun sailing jokes and share some laughs.

Once you’ve read through the sailing jokes on this page, you might want to visit our Summer Jokes and Swimming Jokes and Beach Jokes collections.

Jokes about Sailing

Q: Why did the sailboat want to dance with the motor boat?
A: Because he liked her a yacht.

Q: What did the Southern sailboat say to the group of sailboats?
A: Hello Yawl !! (Yawl is a type of sailing vessel)

Q: What do sailors play when they’re bored?
A: Cards – because they always have a deck.

Q: Why did the captain hire a cleaning service?
A: His sailboat was looking dinghy.

Q: Why was the sailor broke?
A: The captain docked his pay.

Q: What race is never run?
A: A regatta.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What sailing movie featured Luke Skywater?
A: Star Board.

Q: Why was the sailboat feeling better?
A: It was heeling.

Q: Why did the sailor keep his money on an elevated sea floor?
A: It was a bank.

Q: Why did the baseball player bring his gear on the sailboat?
A: He was told he might have to batten down the hatches.

Q: What do you call a boat that doesn’t use naughty words?
A: A censor-ship.

Q: Where did the Monkees keep their sailing gear?
A: In Davy Jones’ Locker.

Q: Why did it take so long for the sailor to pull it up his anchor?
A: It was farther than he FATHOMed (fathom is a unit of length, usually for depth)

Q: What detergent do sailors use?
A: Tide!

Q: What was the soccer player looking for on the boat?
A: Cleats.

Q: How did the priest sink the brand new sailboat?
A: He christened it with holey water.

Q: What did the girl wear when she went sailing to the beach?
A: A bimini top

Q: What kind of knot does Santa use when sailing?
A: A Cringle.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: How do you make a sick sailboat feel better?
A: Give it some Vitamin Sea.

Q: What do you call the fastest sailboat in the world?
A: Usain Boat.

Q: Why did the sailing instructor jump into the lake?
A: She wanted to test the water!

Q: Where do ghosts like to go sailing?
A: Lake Eerie

Q: Where do you take a sick sailboat?
A: To the nearest doc.

Q: Where do zombies like to go sailing?
A: The Dead Sea

Q: How do you make a sailboat look younger?
A: With Boat-Tox.

Q: How do ocean sailors say hello to each other?
A: They wave.

Q: What happened to the sailor who did poorly on his sailing test?
A: He got C-sick.

Q: Where did Bugs Bunny park his sailboat?
A: At the what’s-up dock.

Q: What’s the polite term for an overweight sailor?
A: Portly

Q: Who is the author of the book “How to Sail”
A: Bo Ting.

Q: How long did the sailor wait?
A: Until the bitter end.

Q: When did the sailor get a knockout?
A: When he was boxing the compass.

Q: Why do they have helmets on sailboats?
A: To protect the bulkhead.

Q: How big was the shipwrecked sailboat?
A: It was capsized.

Q: What kind of sailing ship serves ice cream cakes?
A: A Caravel (sailing ship used in the 15-16th century)

Q: What do kids sing when they’re sailing the seas?
A: The farmer in the Citadel, the farmer in the Citadel. Hi-ho, the derry-o, the farmer in the Citadel.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why didn’t the rope speak English?
A: It was Flemish (flemish is when a rope is coiled flat).

Q: Why did the angry sail fall down?
A: It blew a gasket.

Q: Where do sailors buy tools?
A: Harbor Freight.

Q: What did the two ropes do after falling in love?
A: They got hitched (hitch is a type of knot).

Q: Why did the sailboat captain bring a hockey player on his voyage?
A: To prevent icing (a hazard for ships – and a play in hockey).

Q: What do you call a sailor when he sits in a wooden crate?
A: A Jack in the box.

Q: Why wasn’t the sailboat ever happy?
A: It wasn’t a Jolly Boat! (Jolly boats are a type of barge).

Q: What did the sailor say when the Coast Guard accused him of speeding?
A: I did knot!

Q: Why did the sailor bring a salt shaker with him?
A: To put it on the leach. (leach is the after edge of a sail, and a blood sucking animal)

Q: What’s opposite the Lee side on a sailboat?
A: The Levi side.

Q: What kind of reptile might you find on a sailboat?
A: A Lizard! (lizard is a short length of rope with ane eye)

Q: What baseball team do Sailors root for?
A: The Seattle Mariners.

Q: When do sailors eat dinner?
A: Maritime.

Q: Why was the sailor put in time-out?
A: He was naughty-cal.

Q: Where do sailors play checkers?
A: Overboard.

Q: Why did the sailboat crash into the dock.
A: It was closer than it a-PIER-ed

Q: Where do sailors make change for a dollar?
A: On the quarterdeck.

Q: Why was pet control chasing the sailboat?
A: There was a stray salty dog on board.

Q: Why was the sailor so early for the party?
A: He got there Schooner than expected.

Q: How old was the sailboat?
A: Wind Age. (Windage is the wind resistance of a boat)

Q: Who were all the sailboats afraid of?
A: The wicked winch of the west.

Q: What was the sailors favorite letter of the alphabet?
A: C (Sea)

Halloween Jokes on your Phone or Device

Never search for clean Halloween jokes again – Download them now instead. Get EVERY Halloween joke you’ll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device – forever! #1 for Parents and Teachers! Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. Plus you’ll get a fun bonus – Halloween Lunch Box Jokes Printable (30+ Days of Jokes).