Jokes About Swimming

If you’re looking for funny swimming jokes, then this is the best collection of jokes about swimming for you to share with students, friends and family.

These funny swimming jokes are clean and safe for people of all ages. If you or someone you know likes to swim, then share some laughs. You’ll find jokes about swimming in pools and oceans.

These jokes are great for swimmers, parents, swim coaches, lifeguards, swimming fans and anyone who enjoys swimming. These jokes are great to share with a swim team!

If you’re really into swimming, then bookmark this page and check back for new additions. If you’re into sports, or have kids that love sports, then check out the entire collection of sports jokes from Fun Kids Jokes.

Jokes About Swimming

Q: What kind of race is never run?
A: A swimming race.

Q: What detergent do swimmers use to wash their clothes?
A: Tide

Q. What do a dentist and a swim coach have in common?
A. They both use drills.

Q: Why did the elephants get kicked out of the swimming pool?
A: They kept dropping their trunks.

Q: Why wasn’t the woman afraid when she saw a shark while she was swimming in the ocean?
A: Because it was a man-eating shark.

Q: How do pirates measure the distance they swim?

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Where do zombies like to go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea

Q: Which kind of swimmer makes a good gardener?
A: The ones with great seed times.

Q: Why did the girl have problems swimming?
A: She didn’t have boy-ancy.

Q: What kind of dive are army men best at?
A: Cannon-ball

Q: What did the ocean say to the swimmer?
A: Nothing. It just waved.

Today a girl knocked on my door saying she was collecting for the local swimming pool — so I gave her 2 buckets of water.

Q: How do people swimming in the ocean say HI to each other?
A: They wave

Q: Why would the boy only do the backstroke?
A: He just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.

Q: What kind of stroke can you use on toast?
A: Butter-fly.

Q: What kind of exercise is best for a swimmer?
A: Pool-ups.

Q: Why did the teacher jump into the pool?
A: She wanted to test the water.

Q: Where do ghosts like to go swimming?
A: Lake Eerie

Q: Why did the vegetarian stop swimming?
A: She didn’t like meets.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why did a person keep doing the backstroke?
A: He just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.

Q: What direction do chickens swim?
A: Cluck-wise.

Q: What swimming stroke do sheep enjoy most?
A: The baaaackstroke.

Q: What do you call a swim team made up of girls named Jennifer?
A: Hydrogens.

Q: What is a polar bear’s favorite stroke?
A: The blubber-fly.

Q: Which word looks the same backwards and upside down?
A: Swims.

Q: Why didn’t the lousy swim team have a website?
A: They couldn’t put 3 w’s together.

Q: Where do swimmers clean themselves?
A: They wash up on shore.

Q: What did Cinderella wear on her feet when she went for a swim?
A: Glass Flippers.

Q: Why can elephants swim whenever they want?
A: They always have trunks with them.

Q: Why are spiders good swimmers?
A: They have webbed feet.

Q: Why was the swimmer so slow?
A: He could only do the crawl

Halloween Jokes on your Phone or Device

Never search for clean Halloween jokes again – Download them now instead. Get EVERY Halloween joke you’ll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device – forever! #1 for Parents and Teachers! Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. Plus you’ll get a fun bonus – Halloween Lunch Box Jokes Printable (30+ Days of Jokes).