Golf Jokes

If you’re looking for funny golf jokes, then this is the best collection of jokes about golf for you to share with friends and family.

These funny golf jokes about are clean and safe for people of all ages.

They are great for golfers, parents, golf coaches, gym teachers, golf fans and anyone who enjoys golf.

Some of these golfing jokes might not be understood by people who have never watched or played golf, but most are easy enough to understand and should get a lot of laughs.

Golf Jokes

Q: How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?

Q: Why did they kick Tarzan out of the golf game?
A: He screamed with every swing.

Q: Why did the golfer carry two shirts?
A: In case he got a hole in one.

Q: What’s a golfer’s favorite letter?
A: Tee.

Q: Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
A: He was perfecting his swing.

Q: Why did the golfer have an extra pair of socks?
A: In case he got a hole-in-one.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What’s the easiest shot in golf?
A: Your fourth putt.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton play golf?
A: His heart wasn’t in it

Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: Because she always runs away from the ball.

Q: Why don’t grasshoppers watch golf?
A: They watch cricket instead.

Q: What time is it when an elephant steps on your golf ball?
A: Time to get a new ball!

Q: How are golf balls like eggs?
A: They’re white, they’re sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.

Q: What are the worst words you can hear during a game of golf?
A: It’s still your turn!

Q: What did one golf ball say to the other golf ball?
A: See you round.

Q: Where did the golfers go on their date?
A: The golf ball.

Q: How do you know your golf game is terrible?
A: When you had to have your ball retriever regripped.

Q: What’s the difference between driving in golf and driving a car?
A: When you drive a car you don’t want to hit anything.

Q: When is the course too wet to play golf?
A: When your golf cart capsizes.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What should you do if your round of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm?
A: Walk around holding your 1-iron above your head, because even Mother Nature can’t hit a 1-iron.

Q: Who is the best golf partner to have?
A: One who’s always a little bit worse than you.

Q: What does it mean when your golf opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven?
A: It means he probably shot an eight.

Q: Why do golfers always carry two pairs of pants with them ?
A: Just in case they had a hole in one.

Q: Why shouldn’t you ever play golf in the jungle?
A: It’s not fair because there are too many cheetahs.

Q: What do you call 1000 golfers lined up on a pebble beach holding hands?
A: Pebble Beach Golf Links.

Q: Why does the golfer carry an extra pair of socks?
A: In case he gets a hole in one.

Q: Why did the boy bring the alphabet with him to play golf?
A: To make sure he had a T.

Q: Why couldn’t Tiger Woods listen to music?
A: Because he broke the records.

Q: Why didn’t the lousy pro golfer have a website?
A: They couldn’t string three W’s together.

Q: Why was Cinderella such a poor golfer?
A: Her coach was a pumpkin.

Q: What do you call a monkey who wins the masters?
A: A chimpion.

Q: Which golfer has the biggest shoes?
A: The one with the biggest feet.

Q: How do golfer stay cool?
A: By standing next to the fans.

Q: Which golfer can jump higher than the flag?
A: All of them – a flag can’t jump.

Q: Why do golf courses get hot after a tournament?
A: Because all the fans have left.

Q: What do golfers get in their Christmas stockings?
A: Silly putty.

Q: Why did the golfer cross the green?
A: To get to the other side.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do Eskimo golfers eat for lunch?
A: Ice bergers.

Q: Why do golfers always lose at cards when playing hearts?
A: All they ever have are clubs.

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