Christopher Columbus Jokes

The most popular time for Christopher Columbus jokes is on Columbus Day, which is observed on the second Monday in October. That’s when millions of people search for funny Columbus Day Jokes.

These funny Christopher Columbus jokes are great any time for parents, teachers, families and anyone interested in history, exploring and Columbus.

All of the jokes about Columbus on this page are clean and safe for all ages.

Christopher Columbus was an Italian explorer, navigator and colonist hired by Spain who sailed four voyages across the Atlantic Ocean.

We hope you enjoy these jokes on Columbus Day and all year long!

Columbus Jokes

Q: What did Columbus say when he was accused of speeding through the port?
A: I did knot.

Q: What was Columbus’s favorite letter of the alphabet?
A: C (Sea)

Q: What happened in 1492?
A: Native Americans discovered Columbus.

Q: Why couldn’t anyone play cards on the voyage to the Americas?
A: Columbus was standing on the deck.

Q: How did the octupus make Christopher Columbus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles.

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Q: What time was it when a whale jumped into Columbus’s boat?
A: Time to get a new boat.

Q: How did Columbus avoid scurvy?
A: Vitamin Sea.

Q: Why did it take Columbus so long to say the alphabet?
A: He spend months at C.

Q: What did Columbus do with the blue whale?
A: Cheered it up.

Q: Why did the Nina crash into the dock.
A: It was closer than it a-PIER-ed (Nina was one of the ships used by Columbus)

Q: How was Columbus’s ship like Black Friday?
A: They’re both driven by sails.

Q: Who taught Christopher Columbus how to sail?
A: Bo Ting.

Q: Where did Christopher Columbus play checkers?
A: Overboard.

Q: Why did Columbus eat a candle?
A: He needed a light snack.

Q: Why did Columbus put one of his sailors in time-out?
A: He was being naughty-cal.

Q: Who was the first feline to discover America?
A: Christopher Columpuss.

Q: What do you get when you cross Columbus Day with Halloween?
A: Ghoulumbus Day.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: When did they serve dinner on the Santa Maria?
A: Maritime.

Q: How did Columbus land in America?
A: On his feet.

Q: How did Columbus say hello to other sailors?
A: He waved.

Q: How did Columbus get down from his ship’s mast?
A: He didn’t – you only get down from a goose.

Q: How did Columbus get the Pinta for so cheap?
A: It was on sail.

Q: What baseball team did Columbus root for?
A: The Mariners.

Q: What’s the difference between Christopher Columbus and the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz?
A: One left his Spain behind and the other left his brain behind.

Q: How did Christopher Columbus make his crew laugh?
A: With a whale of a tale.

Q: Why did the map always get into trouble with Christopher Columbus?
A: It had a bad latitude.

Q: Why did Christopher Columbus say his compasses and scales were intelligent?
A: Because they all graduated.

Q: Which did Columbus way was smarter, longitude or latitude?
A: Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.

Q: Why was Columbus in trouble with the ocean?
A: He crossed it.

Q: Why did Columbus do on his school report cards?
A: He always worked at C-Level.

Q: Why did Columbus cross the ocean?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: What did Columbus use for money?
A: Sand dollars.

Q: Why did Columbus bring helmets on his ships?
A: To protect the bulkhead.

Q: Where did Columbus take his boat when it had a hole in it?
A: To the nearest doc.

Q: What was a goal for Christopher Columbus?
A: When the ball went into the net.

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Q: How big was the shipwrecked Spanish ship?
A: It was capsized.

Q: Why did Columbus’s first ship sink?
A: It was christened with holey water.

Q: Which football team does Christopher Columbus like the least?
A: The Vikings, because they always beat him. (Leif Eriksson found America first)

Q: Why did Columbus bring a baseball player on his voyage?
A: In case he needed someone to batten down the hatches.

Q: How was Christopher Columbus like ants?
A: They both established colonies.

Q: What happened when Christopher Columbus dropped his hat in the sea?
A: It got wet.

Q: How did Christopher Columbus pay for his trip to the new land?
A: He used his Discover card.

Q: Where did Columbus find oceans without water?
A: On his map.

Q: How did the crew of the Santa Maria wash their clothes?
A: They used tide.

Q: Why did Columbus hire a cleaning service for the Pinta?
A: It was looking dinghy.

Q: What vegetable wouldn’t Christopher Columbus bring back for the queen?
A: Leeks – because he was on a ship and didn’t want to sink.

Q: What did Columbus do on his birthday?
A: He get older.

Q: What did Columbus play when he was bored?
A: Played cards – because he always had a deck.

Q: What do Christopher Columbus and a map key have in common?
A: Both are legends.

Q: What looks like half the Santa Maria?
A: The other half.

Q: How did the young explorer get to school?
A: On the ColumBUS.

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