Coffee Jokes

Coffee jokes that are funny and clean! If you know someone who is a coffee lover, then these jokes should get a laugh.

These coffee jokes are especially popular on International Coffee Day, which is September 29th in the United States.

You’ll find jokes about coffee, espresso, cappuccino and more.

Coffee Jokes

How do you discipline bad coffee?
You ground it.

What did the avid coffee drinker say when his doctor told him to cut back?
I have no problem with coffee, but I do have a problem without it.

What competition do the best coffee makers try to win?
The coffee cup

Why did the gardener save his coffee grounds?
For sedimental reasons.

What do you call a joke about coffee?
A brewhaha.

Who is Al Pacino’s coffee-loving brother?
Cap…

Why did the coffee call the police?
Because it was mugged.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Why was the coffee server so good in conversations?
She was good at espresso-ing herself.

What do you call the feeling that you’ve had this coffee before?
Deja-Brew

When do mechanics drink coffee?
When they are on a brake…

How often do coffee lovers think about coffee?
They think about it a latte.

Why did the coffee quit playing sports?
It always got creamed.

What type of coffee do vampires drink?
Decoffinated.

Why did the rabbit stop drinking coffee?
It made it too jumpy.

How did Moses make coffee?
Hebrewed it.

Why did the rabbit stop drinking coffee?
It made it too jumpy.

What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe.

What are cows so sleepy?
They only drink De-calf-inated coffee.

What are Russian coffee shops called?
Tsarbucks.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

What kind of coffee did they serve on the Titanic?
Sanka.

How are coffee beans like children?
They’re always getting grounded.

How do you make beef jerky?
Give a cow coffee.

What happened when the Starbucks customer ordered a coffee to go.
The coffee got up and left.

What’s goes along with coffee during the winter?
Sneezy.

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