Looking for history jokes? Take a look at this ever-expanding collection of funny history jokes for children of all ages.
From Atlas to Vikings, you’re sure to laugh at one of these history jokes! The history jokes you’ll find here are great for parents, teachers, history buffs and, or course, kids. We hope you enjoy them!
History Jokes for Kids
Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: Norse code.
Q: Why did Renoir become an Impressionist?
A: He did it for the Monet.
Q: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
A: Because there were so many knights.
Q: How were the first Americans like ants?
A: They also lived in colonies.
Q: What was the greatest achievement of the early Romans?
A: Learning how to speak Latin.
Q: What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
A: It can’t sit down.
Q: Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?
A: On their feet.
Q: If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas?
A: His family and Friends.
Q: Who invented fractions?
A: Henry the 1/8th.
Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the ark?
A: Flood lights.
Q: What’s purple and about 5000 miles long?
A: The grape wall of China.
Q: Who made King Arthur’s round table?
A: Sir Cumference
Q: Who cleaned up after the animals on the ark?
A: I have Noah idea!
Q: Why is history class so hard?
A: Because the teacher asks about things that happened before you were born.
Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom.
Q: What was the Declaration of Independence signed in?
A: Ink.
Q: What did colonists wear at the Boston Tea Party ?
A: T-Shirts.
Q: What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
A: Liberty.
Q: Why didn’t Socrates like old French fries?
A: Because they were made in ancient Greece.
Q: What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
A: Let’s rule Toga-ether!
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
A: They both have “The” as a middle name.
Q: Where did Montezuma go to college?
A: Az Tech.
Q: Why is England the wettest country in the world?
A: Because a queen has reigned there for so long.
Q: Who designed Noah’s ark?
A: An ark-itect.
Q: Why did George Washington say he chopped down the cherry tree?
A: Nothing – he was stumped.
Q: What did the colonists do because of the Stamp Act?
A: They licked the British.
Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
A: Plymouth Rock
Q: Why did the Native Americans hunt bear?
A: They didn’t – they wore clothes.
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims.
Q: How does Moses make his tea?
A: Hebrews it.
Q: Why did Arthur have a round table ?
A: So he couldn’t be cornered.
Q: What do history teachers talk about at parties?
A: The good old days.
Q: Who was the biggest thief in history?
A: Atlas, because he held up the entire world .
Q: What was the most popular dance in 1776?
A: Indepen-dance.
Q: Why did Julius Caesar need crayons?
A: He wanted to Mark Antony.
Q: Why did Columbus cross the ocean?
A: To get to the other tide.
Q: How was the Roman Empire divided?
A: Using a pair of Caesars.
Q: Why did the Pilgrims want to set sail during the spring?
A: Because April showers bring May flowers.
Q: Why was the Pharoah boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he’s the best.
Q: What was Camelot?
A: A place to park camels.
Q: What’s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
A: You can’t keep a good man down.
Q: Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?
A: Laugh-ayette
Q: Why did the knight run around shouting for a can opener?
A: He had a bumble bee in his suit of armour!
Q: What’s the fruitiest school subject?
A: History, because it’s full of dates.
Boy: How did you do on your report card?
Friend: I did what George Washington did.
Boy: What was that?
Friend: I went down in history.
