Apple Cider Jokes

Apple Cider Jokes are especially great during Autumn apple season, but these jokes about apple cider are good anytime of the year.

If you’re looking for Apple Cider Jokes, then you’re going to love this collection. You’ll also find apple cider puns, apple cider riddles, apple cider knock-knock jokes and more.

Best of all, these are clean apple cider jokes, so they are great for kids of all ages. Perfect for parents, teachers, apple farmers, grocers and everyone who enjoys apples and cider – which is just about everyone. If you’re planning on heading to a cider mill this fall, then take along some of these jokes so you’ll have something funny to laugh at.

Fun fact about apple cider: It takes about 36 apples to make one gallon of the apple cider. Apples for cider are pressed and unfiltered, which is what makes cider different than apple juice, which is filtered.

Apple Cider Jokes

Q: What does Darth Vader use to make apple cider?
A: Empire apples.

Q: When was everyone grouchy after drinking the apple cider?
A: It was made from crab apples.

Q: How did the cider mill keep track of it’s inventory?
A: On an Apple iPad.

Q: What kind of apple can’t be pressed for cider?
A: A pineapple.

Q: How did the investor know Apple’s stock was going to go up?
A: He had incider information.

Q: When is the best day of the week to drink apple cider?
A: Ciderday.

Q: What kind of pitch did Johnny Appleseed throw when he was on the mound?
A: An apple slider.

Clean Apple Cider Jokes

Q: How did the detective solve the mystery at the orchard?
A: He pressed the apples for clues.

Q: Why did the farmer enter the cider contest?
A: He loved all the apple-ause.

Q: What kind of apples should be used for cider served at a ball?
A: Gala apples.

Q: What might you get from drinking expired apple cider?
A: Bad cider-ffects

Q: Why was the apple grower sent to federal prison?
A: In-cider trading.

Q: What was the investor doing snooping around the cider mill?
A: He was searching for in-cider information.

Apple Cider Puns

It’s an apple-solutely wonderful day for cider!

My wife and I plan to buy a cider mill and live apple-y ever after.

I couldn’t decide if I should make spiced apple cider, so I mulled it over for awhile.

It’s chilly at the cider orchard, so I plan to wear apple-over.

Going to the local apple orchard was a very fruitful experience.

Q: What do you do if you spill cider on someone?
A: You apple-ogize.

Apple Cider One Liner Jokes

My mom was sitting on a bench at the apple orchard, so I went and sat be-cider.

I’d be hard pressed to think of a better thing to drink than apple cider.

Someone spilled their drink on my ipad. The police think it was a cider attack.

I’m thinking about starting an apple cider business, but I haven’t decidered yet.

They just announced there will be a cider shortage, which is a pressing issue for local farmers…

My Grandma said that only green apples should be pressed for cider, but that may just be one of Granny’s myths.

Apple Cider Jokes for Teachers

Q: Which college serves the most apple cider?
A: SUNY Cortland.

Q: What’s did the Egyptian’s apple cider taste so different?
A: He made it using his mummies recipe.

Q: What type of apple do pirates make their cider with?
A: JonaGOLD.

Q: How are you supposed to talk in a library in the Big Apple?
A: With your incider voice.

Q: Who makes the best apple cider in the family?
A: Granny Smith.

Riddle: Why can you only press one apple at a time to make apple cider?
A: If you pressed two, it would be a pear…

Apple Cider Knock Knock Jokes

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple cider’s ready, grab a cup!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Preston.
Preston who?
Preston of apples to make a lot of cider.