Jokes About Cows

This collection of cow jokes is udderly amazing! This is one of the best places online for jokes about cows – and they are clean and safe for all ages. Great for teachers, parents, farmers and, of course, children! We’re adding funny cow jokes all the time, so check back for new additions.

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Q: What are grumpy cows called? A: Moo-dy

Fun Cow Fact: You can lead a cow up stairs, but not down stairs. Their knees can’t bend properly to walk down stairs!

Cow Jokes for Kids

Q: Why did the cow cross the ocean?
A: To get to the udder tide.

Q: How do you get a cow to keep quiet?
A: Press the moooote button.

Q: What time is it when a cow sits on your hat?
A: Time to get a new hat!

Q: What happens when a cow is exhausted?
A: It cowlapses.

Q: What do you call a sleeping cow?
A: A bull dozer

Q: What do cows do in their spare time?
A: Listen to moooosic.

Q: Why don’t cows ever have money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry.

Q: Why was it hard to brush the heifer’s hair?
A: She had a cow lick.

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Q: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
A: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.

Q: What do you get when you cross an angry sheep with a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

Q: How do you make a milk shake?
A: Give a cow a pogo stick.

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Q: What did one chess playing cow say to the other?
A: Your mooooove.

Q: What do weightlifting cows eat for dessert?
A: Beefcake!

Q: What did the cow say to the wolf?
A: I’ve got no beef with you.

Q: Why are cows so good at math?
A: They love to cownt.

Q: What do you call a fight between two herds of cows?
A: A cattle battle.

Q: Why did the cow cross the playground?
A: To get to the udder slide.

Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A: Because they lactose.

Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands!

Q: Why was the cow afraid?
A: She was a cowherd

Q: What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime!

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

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Q: What happens when you talk to a cow?
A: It goes in one ear and out the udder.

Q: What was the name of the cow knight?
A: Sir Loin.

Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder.

Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon?
A: Because the farmer had cold hands.

Q: What is a cow’s favorite deli meat?
A: Bull-ogna

Q: What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

Q:What do you call a cow who works for a landscaper?
A: A lawn moo-er.

Q: Where do cows go to eat lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Q: How did the cow get to Mars?
A: It flew through udder space.

Q: What is it called when a cow blends in with his surroundings?
A: Being CaMOOflauged.

Q: What do you call cattle that tell jokes?
A: Laughing stock.

Q: What was the cow’s favorite cookie?
A: Moooolasses.

Q: What were the cows favorite subjects in school?
A: Moosic, psycowlogy, and cowculus

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers!

Q: Why don’t cows remember things you tell them?
A: Because everything goes in one ear and out the udder.

Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?
A: An Udder-Catastrophe

Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bull-dozer

Q: What was the cows favorite part of math?
A: Moo-ltiplication.

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Q: Where do cows go when they want a night out?
A: The moo-vies.

Q: In which state do you find the most cows?
A: Moo-York

Q: What do you call the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains

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Q: What did one dairy cow say to the other? A: Got milk?

Q: Where do Russians get milk?
A: From Mos-cows

Q: What do you call a cow that just gave birth to a calf?
A: Decalfenated.

Q: Why did the bull wear a bell around his neck?
A: Because his horn didn’t work

Q: What did the cow say when it heard a person playing guitar?
A: That’s good moooooosic.

Q: How do farmers count their cows?
A: They use a cowculator.

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Q: What was the name of the cow at the round table?
A: Sir loin

Q: Why was the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the cows had horns.

Q: What do you call a cow that can’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: Where do cows like to ride on trains?
A: The cow-boose.

Q: What did one dairy cow say to the other?
A: Got milk?

Q: What do you get when you cross a smurf with a cow?
A: Blue cheese!

Q: What do you call a cow with a nervous twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Q: What animals do you cover up with socks?
A: Your calves.

Q: Where do cow astronauts stop to get a drink?
A: The milky way!

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow with a lawnmower?
A: A lawnmooer.

Q: What do cows read in the morning?
A: The Daily Moos.

Q: What are grumpy cows called?
A: Moo-dy

Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus and a cow?
A: An animal that can milk itself.

Q: Where do Cow love to go with his friend?
A: For the moovies.

Q: What will a Cow love to play at parties?
A: Only the moosical chairs.

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Q: Where do cows go on Saturday nights?
A: To the MOOO-vies.

Q: What kind of animal goes OOM?
A: A cow walking backwards.

Q: What do you say to a cow that crosses in front of your car?
A: Mooo-ve over.

Q: Why do cows have bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.

Q: What did the mouse tell the cow?
A: Mooove.

Q: What does a cow read every morning?
A moo-spaper.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow?
A: Roost beef.

Q: Which Sesame Street character do cows like most?
A: The cownt.


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