Jokes About Cows

This collection of cow jokes is udderly amazing! We’re adding funny cow jokes all the time, so check back for new additions.

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Q: What are grumpy cows called? A: Moo-dy

Did You Know…

You can lead a cow up stairs, but not down stairs. Their knees can’t bend properly to walk down stairs!

Cow Jokes for Kids

Q: What happens when a cow is exhausted?
A: It cowlapses.

Q: Why don’t cows ever have money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry.

Q: What do you get when you cross an angry sheep with a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

Q: How do you make a milk shake?
A: Give a cow a pogo stick.

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Q: What do weightlifting cows eat for dessert?
A: Beefcake!

Q: What did the cow say to the wolf?
A: I’ve got no beef with you.

Q: Why are cows so good at math?
A: They love to cownt.

Q: What do you call a fight between two herds of cows?
A: A cattle battle.

Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder.

Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon?
A: Because the farmer had cold hands.

Q: What is a cow’s favorite deli meat?
A: Bull-ogna

Q: What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

Q:What do you call a cow who works for a landscaper?
A: A lawn moo-er.

Q: Where do cows go to eat lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Q: How did the cow get to Mars?
A: It flew through udder space.

Q: What is it called when a cow blends in with his surroundings?
A: Being CaMOOflauged.

Q: What do you call cattle that tell jokes?
A: Laughing stock.

Q: What was the cow’s favorite cookie?
A: Moooolasses.

Q: What were the cows favorite subjects in school?
A: Moosic, psycowlogy, and cowculus

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers!

Q: Why don’t cows remember things you tell them?
A: Because everything goes in one ear and out the udder.

Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?
A: An Udder-Catastrophe

Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bull-dozer

Q: What was the cows favorite part of math?
A: Moo-ltiplication.

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Q: Where do cows go when they want a night out?
A: The moo-vies.

More Jokes Continue Below

Q: In which state do you find the most cows?
A: Moo-York

Q: What do you call the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains

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Q: What did one dairy cow say to the other? A: Got milk?

Q: Where do Russians get milk?
A: From Mos-cows

Q: What do you call a cow that just gave birth to a calf?
A: Decalfenated.

Q: Why did the bull wear a bell around his neck?
A: Because his horn didn’t work

Q: What did the cow say when it heard a person playing guitar?
A: That’s good moooooosic.

Q: How do farmers count their cows?
A: They use a cowculator.

Q: What was the name of the cow at the round table?
A: Sir loin

Q: Why was the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the cows had horns.

Q: What do you call a cow that can’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: Where do cows like to ride on trains?
A: The cow-boose.

Q: What did one dairy cow say to the other?
A: Got milk?

Q: What do you get when you cross a smurf with a cow?
A: Blue cheese!

Q: What do you call a cow with a nervous twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Q: What animals do you cover up with socks?
A: Your calves.

Q: Where do cow astronauts stop to get a drink?
A: The milky way!

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow with a lawnmower?
A: A lawnmooer.

Q: What do cows read in the morning?
A: The Daily Moos.

Q: What are grumpy cows called?
A: Moo-dy

Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus and a cow?
A: An animal that can milk itself.

Q: Where do Cow love to go with his friend?
A: For the moovies.

Q: What will a Cow love to play at parties?
A: Only the moosical chairs.

Q: Where do cows go on Saturday nights?
A: To the MOOO-vies.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What kind of animal goes OOM?
A: A cow walking backwards.

Q: What do you say to a cow that crosses in front of your car?
A: Mooo-ve over.

Q: Why do cows have bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.

Q: What did the mouse tell the cow?
A: Mooove.

Q: What does a cow read every morning?
A moo-spaper.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow?
A: Roost beef.