This collection of cow jokes is udderly amazing! We’re adding funny cow jokes all the time, so check back for new additions.
Did You Know…
You can lead a cow up stairs, but not down stairs. Their knees can’t bend properly to walk down stairs!
Cow Jokes for Kids
Q: What happens when a cow is exhausted?
A: It cowlapses.
Q: Why don’t cows ever have money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry.
Q: What do you get when you cross an angry sheep with a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.
Q: How do you make a milk shake?
A: Give a cow a pogo stick.
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.
Q: What do weightlifting cows eat for dessert?
Q: What did the cow say to the wolf?
A: I’ve got no beef with you.
Q: Why are cows so good at math?
A: They love to cownt.
Q: What do you call a fight between two herds of cows?
A: A cattle battle.
Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder.
Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon?
A: Because the farmer had cold hands.
Q: What is a cow’s favorite deli meat?
Q: What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.
Q:What do you call a cow who works for a landscaper?
A: A lawn moo-er.
Q: Where do cows go to eat lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.
Q: How did the cow get to Mars?
A: It flew through udder space.
Q: What is it called when a cow blends in with his surroundings?
A: Being CaMOOflauged.
Q: What do you call cattle that tell jokes?
A: Laughing stock.
Q: What was the cow’s favorite cookie?
Q: What were the cows favorite subjects in school?
A: Moosic, psycowlogy, and cowculus
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers!
Q: Why don’t cows remember things you tell them?
A: Because everything goes in one ear and out the udder.
Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?
A: An Udder-Catastrophe
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bull-dozer
Q: What was the cows favorite part of math?
Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia
Q: Where do cows go when they want a night out?
A: The moo-vies.
More Jokes Continue Below
Q: In which state do you find the most cows?
Q: What do you call the spots on black and white cows?
Q: Where do Russians get milk?
A: From Mos-cows
Q: What do you call a cow that just gave birth to a calf?
Q: Why did the bull wear a bell around his neck?
A: Because his horn didn’t work
Q: What did the cow say when it heard a person playing guitar?
A: That’s good moooooosic.
Q: How do farmers count their cows?
A: They use a cowculator.
Q: What was the name of the cow at the round table?
A: Sir loin
Q: Why was the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the cows had horns.
Q: What do you call a cow that can’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.
Q: Where do cows like to ride on trains?
A: The cow-boose.
Q: What did one dairy cow say to the other?
A: Got milk?
Q: What do you get when you cross a smurf with a cow?
A: Blue cheese!
Q: What do you call a cow with a nervous twitch?
A: Beef Jerky
Q: What animals do you cover up with socks?
A: Your calves.
Q: Where do cow astronauts stop to get a drink?
A: The milky way!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow with a lawnmower?
A: A lawnmooer.
Q: What do cows read in the morning?
A: The Daily Moos.
Q: What are grumpy cows called?
Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus and a cow?
A: An animal that can milk itself.
Q: Where do Cow love to go with his friend?
A: For the moovies.
Q: What will a Cow love to play at parties?
A: Only the moosical chairs.
Q: Where do cows go on Saturday nights?
A: To the MOOO-vies.
More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓
Q: What kind of animal goes OOM?
A: A cow walking backwards.
Q: What do you say to a cow that crosses in front of your car?
A: Mooo-ve over.
Q: Why do cows have bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.
Q: What did the mouse tell the cow?
Q: What does a cow read every morning?
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow?
A: Roost beef.