New Year’s Resolution Jokes

Funny New Year’s resolution jokes! These jokes about resolutions for the new year are fun for all ages!

Making any resolutions for yourself this year? Resolutions for the new year are goals that you would like to achieve in the coming year – many of which involve changing the way you do something.

Make sure you check out this collection of the top New Year’s Resolutions jokes and ring in the new year with smiles!

New Year’s Resolution Jokes

Q: What was the hypocondriaque’s New Years Resolution?
A: To lose wait…

Q: What is the most common New Years resolution?
A: 1080p.

Q: What did the Blue-Ray Disc announce on December 31st?
A: His hi-rez-olutions.

Q: What new year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?
A: To travel more…

Q: What’s the easiest way to keep your New Year’s resolution to read more?
A: Put the subtitles on your TV.

Q: How can you be more efficient with New Year’s Resolutions?
A: Make a copy of your list so you can pull it out again ever year.

Q: What was dog’s New Year’s resolution?
A: Woof… and he really means it this year.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What’s the easiest resolution to keep?
A: This year, I’m going to be myself!

Q: What was the Amityville Priest’s resolution for the new year?
A: To exorcise more.

A: What was the towel’s new year resolution?
A: Find a new way to dry-it (diet)

Q: What was the motivated lazy person’s new year’s resolution?
A: To procrastinate more…

Q: What’s a New Years resolution?
A: A to-do list… for the first week of January.

Q: What’s the most common resolution for 2020?
A: To follow through on the resolutions from 2019, 2018, 2017…

Q: What is a stinky resolution for the new year?
A: To bathe less often…

Q: What did the bank robber announce on January 1st?
A: His New Year’s restitutions….

Q: What did the chimney resolve to do for the new year?
A: Stop smoking.

Q: What was Dr. Frankenstein’s new year’s resolution?
A: To make new friends…

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