Milk Jokes

Check out this great collection of jokes about milk. These milk jokes are great for parents, teachers, farmers, school cafeteria workers and anyone who wants to share some laughs about related to milk.

Did you know that, on average, Americans drink about 20.4 gallons of milk per year? That’s a lot of milk.The states that produce the most milk in the U.S. are California, Wisconsin, New York, Idaho and Pennsylvania.

These clean milk jokes are safe for all ages. If you’re a fan of milk, then load up on some of these jokes to share with friends and family. Once you’re done, make sure you check out our collection of Cow Jokes for even more laughs.

Milk Jokes

Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A milk dud.

Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because they always get milked dry.

Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk.

Q: Where do Russians get their milk?
A: From Mos-cows

Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Q: Why did the farmer only raise brown cows?
A: He loved chocolate milk!

Q: How easy is it to milk a cow?
A: It’s a piece of steak.

Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder.

Q: How easy is it to milk a cow?
A: It’s a piece of steak.

Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Give a cow a pogo stick.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers!

Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder.

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Q: What happened when the milk was too cold?
A: It got the milk shakes.

Q: Where do Russians get their milk?
A: From Mos-cows

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Q: What did the boy say when his brother stole his chocolate milk.
A: How dairy.

Q: Why did the boy want a chocolate milk mustache?
A: To look like Super Mario.

Q: Why can’t dairy cows dance?
A: They have 2 left feet.

Q: Why did the kitten drink all the milk?
A: Because kittens love milk!

Q: How did the cow soccer team win the game?
A: By milking the clock.

Q: Why did the pirate want milk poured on him?
A: He was Captain Crunch!

Q: What was the cow’s favorite candy bar?
A: Milky Way

A: What did they call Mickey after he had a milkshake?
Q: Milky Mouse

Q: What kind of milk do you find in the dessert?
A: Powdered milk

Q: What do you call a gallon of milk that comes to life?
A: Frankenmilk.

Q: What is as big as a glass of milk but weighs nothing?
A: It’s shadow.

Q: What do you get from an Eskimo cow?
A: Ice Cream

Q: How did Reese eat her milk and cereal?
A: Witherspoon.

Q: Where do milkshakes come from?
A: Nervous cows.

Q: Where did cavemen get their milk?
A: From Wooly Cows.