Mermaid Jokes

Mermaid jokes, mermaid puns, riddles and funny jokes about mermaids for kids and adults.

These clean mermaid jokes are perfect for all ages. They are fun for school, mermaid parties, Halloween or anytime the topic of mermaids comes up.

Some of the most popular mermaid related movies as of this writing are The Little Mermaid (with Ariel), Ponyo, Barbie in a Mermaid Tale, Luca, Song of the Sea, and Aquamarine.

According to folklore, mermaids are creatures who live in the sea with the upper body of a beautiful woman and the lower body of a fish with a tail.

Some myths show mermaids as benevolent (kind and helpful), with stories of mermaids rescuing sailors and falling in love.

Other myths depict malevolent (evil) mermaids, called Sirens, who lure sailors towards rocky shores by singing, which causes the ships to crash.

The term “mermaid” comes from the word “mere” (sea) and “maid” (girl or young woman).

Mermaid Jokes

Q: What do mermaids use for money?
A: Sand dollars.

Q: How did the mermaid get to the hospital?
A: In a clambulance.

Q: Why are mermaids so well educated?
A: They swim in schools.

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Q: If mermaids lived on land, which country would they live in?
A: FIN-land.

Q: What do mermaids eat during lent?
A: Holy mackerel.

Q: How do mermaids contact each other?
A: With their shell phones.

Q: Did you know that mermaids can also squirt ink?
A: Just Squidding!

Q: What was the mermaid’s favorite TV game show?
A: Whale of Fortune.

Q: What kind of pet did the mermaid have?
A: A catfish.

Q: Where did the mermaid meet the fisherman?
A: On line.

Q: What do English mermaids eat?
A: Fish and ships.

Q: Where do mermaids keep their money?
A: In the riverbank.

Q: Where do mermaids go out to watch movies?
A: At the dive-in theater.

Q: Who do mermaids see to have their appendix removed?
A: A sturgeon…

Q: Where do mermaids sleep?
A: In waterbeds.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why did the mermaid cross the sea?
A: To get to the other tide.

The mermaid told me that she splashed water in my eyes by mistake… but I just know she did it on porpoise.

Q: Why did the mermaid blush?
A: Because she saw a ship’s bottom.

Q: What did the mermaid find shaking at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A nervous wreck.

Q: What did the ocean say to the mermaid?
A: Nothing… it just waved.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Kelp who?
Kelp, I can’t swim!

Q: Why did the mermaid buy peanut butter?
A: To go with the JELLY fish.

Q: How did the octopus make the mermaid giggle?
A: With tentacles. (as in “ten tickles”)

Q: Why were all the mermaids out of the water?
A: It was shark week on the Discovery channel.

Q: What was the mermaid so stressed out?
A: Work was over-whale-ming.

Q: Why was the mermaid so happy?
A: She just felt fintastic!

The mermaid thought the ship was safe, but she wanted to make shore.

Q: Why was the mermaid at the bottom of the sea?
A: She dropped out of school.

Q: How do mermaids prevent colds?
A: They get lots of vitamin sea.

Q: What did the mermaid say at her high school reunion?
A: Long time no sea…

Q: What is the opposite of a mermaid?
A: A landlord…

Q: What happened to the mermaid who stole the ship’s anchor?
A: The judge found her GILL-ty. (as in “guilty”)

Q: Why don’t mermaids play volleyball?
A: They’re afraid of getting caught in the net.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What kind of pictures do mermaids post on Facebook?
A: Shellfies.

Q: How do mermaids send computer messages?
A: Using their sea-mail.

I know a mermaid who is good at tuning a piano… but she sure can’t tuna fish.

Q: Why wouldn’t the mermaid share her shrimp cocktail?
A: She was too shellfish.

Q: What did the mermaid send to her sick friend?
A: Get whale card.

Q: How did the mermaid sheriff get around town?
A: On her sea horse…

Q: Why were the mermaids so watchful around the baby octopus?
A: There was a rumor about squidnappers.

Q: Why are mermaids so good at playing the harp?
A: They really know their scales.

Q: Why was the mermaid having trouble finding a college to go to?
A: Her grades were below C level.

Q: What do Mermaids and Superman have in common?
A: They’re both part of DC. (as in “the sea” and DC Comics)

Did you hear the story about half of a mermaid washing ashore… well, it was only a tail.

Q: What fish do mermaids consider the most valuable?
A: GOLD fish.

Q: How should you describe a mermaid with an eye taken away?
A: A Mer-MAD

Q: How do mermaids know their weight?
A: They use their scales.

Q: How did the mermaid get her clothes clean?
A: She used Tide.

Q: Why didn’t the mermaid buy the used car?
A: There was something fishy about the salesman…

Q: Why isn’t there a mess on the ocean floor?
A: Mer maids.

Q: Where do mermaids keep their valuables?
A: In their octopurse.

Halloween Jokes on your Phone or Device

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