Goat jokes, riddles, puns, one-liners and knock-knock jokes about goats.
If you’re looking for jokes about goats, then this collection of funny goat jokes is for you.
All of the clean goat jokes featured here are family-friendly for children and adults of all ages.
These jokes about goats are perfect for teachers, parents, farmers, children, veterinarians, farm hands, zoo workers and anyone who is a fan of goats.
Common names for different goats include: kid, ram, billy goat, mountain goat, tup, stag, does and nannys. Wild goats include the ibex and markhor, which you may see at a zoo (Rosamond Gifford Zoo Syracuse Zoo markhor page).
We’re adding funny goat jokes all the time, so bookmark this page and check back for new additions. You may also enjoy our other collections of farm animal jokes, including Cow Jokes, Sheep Jokes, Chicken Jokes, Pig Jokes and Horse Jokes.
Goat Jokes
Q: What did the kid want so he would look hip?
A: A goatee
Q: Why was the goat so embarassed?
A: She saw the ranch dressing.
Q: What did the balding ram say as he looked in the mirror?
A: I wish I had mohair…
Q: What did the grandpa ram tell the kids around the camp fire?
A: Spooky goat stories…
Q: What do you call it when a nanny goat falls off a cliff?
A: An Udder-Catastrophe
Q: Why did the lacrosse playing ram win the MVP award?
A: He was the GOAT. (GOAT = Greatest of All Time).
Q: Why were the kids sent to the principals office?
A: They goat into a fight.
Q: Why don’t nannie goats remember things you tell them?
A: Because everything goes in one ear and out the udder.
Q: What did the kid goat want to be when she grew up?
A: A baa-lerina.
Q: What did one kid say to the other when their classmate head-butted the farmer?
A:Did you goat a load of that?!
Q: What did the kid with anmesia say after waking up?
A: How did I goat here?
Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the goat has the udder.
Q: Where can you find free Mohair?
A: On the baa-baa shop floor (Mohair is from Angora Goats).
Q: Why was the goat eating again?
A: Because he cud.
Q: How did the goat label all of it’s belongings?
A: With a permanent markhor. (Markhor is a type of wild goat).
Q: Where do goats get haircuts?
A: At the baa-baa shop!
Q: Where do nanny goats give a kid a bath?
A: In a baaaa-th tub.
Q: How did the stag cross the lake?
A: In a motor goat.
Clean Goat Jokes
Q: Which show do kid goats love to watch?
A: BARN-ey and friends.
Q: Where do adult goats go on holiday cruises?
A: To the baaaa-hamas.
Q: Which American football team do goats cheer for?
A: The Rams.
Q: What did they call the young goat who knew martial arts?
A: The karate kid.
Q: What do goats do on Memorial Day weekend?
A: Have baaaa-baa-ques.
Q: What happens when you talk to a goat?
A: It goes in one ear and out the udder.
Q: Which type of goat can pull bunnies out of hats?
A: The Magic Markhor.
Q: Why was the young goat grounded?
A: It had been a baaaaaaaad kid.
Q: Where do rams go to get their hair trimmed?
A: The baaaaaa-ber
Q: What do educated goat earn?
A: A pedegree.
Q: Who was the most talented artist on the animal farm?
A: Vincent Van Goat.
Q: Why did the doe cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.
Q: How do nannies clean the barn floor?
A: With a room-baaaaa. (Rhoomba is a brand of vacuum)
Q: What do goats dip their carrots in?
A: Ranch dressing.
Q: Which actor do goats always love to see in movies?
A: Christian Bale of Hay
Q: Which soccer team do goats like the most?
A: FC Baaaaaaa-rcelona!
Q: How do you know when a ram is trying to tell you something?
A: Your computer says: You’ve goat mail…
Q: What did the nanny goat serve for breakfast?
A: Goat-meal.
Q: Why did the goat scratch it’s back?
A: It pelt itchy.
Q: What job did the daddy goat get at the donut shop?
A: A battering ram.
Q: What line did Nanny Cher sing to Sonny Ram?
A: I goat you babe…
Q: What do grumpy rams say during the holidays?
A: Baaaaa-humbug.
Q: Why did the nanny goats cross the ocean?
A: To get to the udder tide.
Goat Riddles and Puns
Q: What do they call a goat with one horn?
A: A unicorn.
Q: Where do goats buy their office supplies.
A: Stables.
Q: What did the goat say after drinking spoiled milk?
A: This tastes so baaaaaad
Q: Why are French goats better musicians than American goats?
A: They’re born with French horns.
Q: What patriotic day do French goats celebrate every year?
A: Baaaaa-stile Day.
Q: What do they call a mountain goat wearing a bucket hat?
A: A hill-billy.
Q: What do you get when you cross an angry goat with a grumpy cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.
Q: What do they call a goat with 3 horns?
A: A triceratops.
Q: Who might bite you near a watering hole on a mohair farm?
A: An alli-goat-or…
Q: What did the farmer say to the kids running the race?
A:You’ve goat this!
Q: What do construction worker goats drive?
A: Dodge Rams.
Q: What did the nanny goat sing to her young kids?
A: Row, row, row your goat…
Q: Why did the mama goat go to Mars?
A: It wanted to see udder space.
Q: What did the Ram drink after running a marathon?
A: Goat-arade.
Q: What do you call a nanny goat that can’t give milk?
A: An udder failure…
Q: What musical group did all the hippie rams and does listen to?
A: The Goatful Dead.
Q: What did the kid say when he pranked his parents?
A: Goatcha!!
Q: Why do the goats avoid the cows in the barn?
A: The cows are too Moo-dy…
Q: What is as big as a ram but weighs nothing?
A: His shadow.
Q: What did the Billy goat say to the silo?
A: Is my fodder in there?
Q: What time is it when a Billy goat eats on your hat?
A: Time to get a new hat!
Q: What does a goat make when the sun comes out?
A. A shadow.
Q: What did the goat say to the cow?
A: I’ve got no beef with you.
Q: Why won’t goats drink cows milk?
A: Because they’re lactose intolerant. (goats milk has no lactose, while cow milk does)
Q: What did the nanny goat say to her kid?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.
Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful goat?
A: Milk of Amnesia
Q: Why did the ram wear a bell around his neck?
A: Because his horn didn’t work
Q: Why was the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the goats had horns.
Q: What did the dairy cow say to the nanny goat?
A: Got milk?
Q: What do you get when you cross a smurf with a goat?
A: Blue cheese!
Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus and a goat?
A: An animal that can milk itself.
Q: Why do goats have bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.
Q: Why was the goat farmer so wealthy?
A: He had a lot of bucks!
Goat Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there.
Ibex.
Ibex who?
Ibex you think you are funny.
Goat Jokes – One Liners
The farmer kept trying to talk me into buying from him, not realizing he had me from the goat-go…
Funny how goats can be part of a trip without going anywhere… (a group of goats is called a trip).
Our local farmer likes to give his young farm animals bubble baths… whatever floats his goat.
Goats can be very funny. No kidding…
If you liked these goat jokes, there’s a chance you might also like these Sheep Jokes, Pig Jokes, Horse Jokes and Chicken Jokes.
