Funny Atlanta Braves Jokes for Braves baseball fans of all ages.
This is the best collection of clean Atlanta Braves Jokes anywhere!
These jokes about the Braves baseball team are great for parents, teachers, Braves fans, baseball coaches, babysitters – and anyone who is a fan of MLB baseball. They’re even good for Mets, Nationals and Cardinals fans looking for some good-hearted jokes at Atlanta’s expense!
Throwing an Atlanta Braves party? Are the Braves in the MLB playoffs? These jokes about the Atlanta Braves will bring lots of laughs.
Here are some fun idea: Write Braves jokes on pieces of paper or Post-it notes and spread them around your baseball party. Do a stand-up routine – or have some kids do one – or print them out and do a joke karaoke during the 7th inning stretch.
Atlanta Braves Baseball Jokes
Q: What is the difference between Mike Soroka and a union worker?
A: A union worker knows how to throw a strike.
Q: Which Braves baseball player holds water?
A: Dallas Keuchel – because he a pitcher.
Q: Why are some SunTrust Park umpires overweight?
A: They always clean their plate.
Q: Why did Austin Riley want spiders to play for the Braves ?
A: They know how to catch flies.
Q: Why did the police officer go to SunTrust Park ?
A: Someone stole second base!
Q: What’s more impressive than seeing a line drive?
A: Seeing a baseball park.
Q: Which superhero did the Braves try to sign as their designated hitter?
A: Batman.
Q: Why arent Atlanta players afraid of the dark?
A: Their Braves.
Q: What’s the silliest song to sing at SunTrust Park ?
A: “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” because everyone is already there!
Q: Which Atlanta player was always in a cheerful mood?
A: Chipper Jones.
Q: What do young Braves fans like about going to the park?
A: The swings.
Q: Why did Brian Gerald Snitker only want frogs in the outfield?
A: They never miss a fly.
Q: What do you get when you cross Mike Soroka with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.
Q: How do Atlanta Braves baseball players stay cool?
A: By standing close to the fans.
Q: Who makes the most errors for the Braves?
A: Blooper! (that’s their mascot!)
Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the Atlanta Braves team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.
Q: Why do the Braves lose so many day games?
A: Their bats only wake up at night.
Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear Atlanta Braves jerseys?
A: It would be a choking hazard.
Q: Why should you take Mark Melancon camping with you?
A: To pitch the tent.
Q: Why did Hank Aaron wear old stockings when he played?
A: They had runs in them!
Q. Why did Chipper Jones bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score if he had to.
Q: What do average Braves fans get on their I.Q. tests?
A: Lots of drool.
Q: Who would be the best choice as a Braves relief pitcher?
A: The mummy – because he knows how to wrap up.
Q: What do Braves ballplayers do when their eyesight goes bad?
A: They get jobs as an umpire.
Q: What does a dirty floor and the Atlanta Braves have in common?
A: They both can sweep.
Q: What do Atlanta Braves lose every night?
A. Their shadows.
Q: According to a new poll 95 percent of people love watching baseball.
A: The other 5 percent are Braves fans.
Q: If the Atlanta Hawks basketball team were chasing the Atlanta Braves baseball team, what time would it be?
A: Five after nine.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Braves baseball player with a monster?
A: A double header.
Q: Which Atlanta Braves player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.
Q: Where did Chipper Jones go to dance?
A: At a base ball!
Q: What did Ender Inciarte say to the baseball?
A: Catch you later.
Q: Why is it hotter after a Braves baseball game?
A: All the fans have left.
Q: When is a Braves outfielder like a spider?
A: When he catches flies.
Q. What runs around a SunTrust Park ‘s field but never moves?
A: A fence
Q: Why did the police officer go to the Atlanta Braves game?
A: He heard that someone stole second base.
Q: Where did the baseball player wash his pants?
A: In the bleachers.
Q: Why are Atlanta Braves players so rich?
A: Because they play on diamonds.
Q: What does Brian McCann wear on halloween?
A: A Face Mask. (He plays catcher)
Q: Did you tell Nck Markakis the joke about the pop fly?
A: Don’t – it will just go over his head.
Q: What is harder for Dansby Swanson to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!
Q: Whats the difference between Atlanta Braves fans and mosquitos?
A: Mosquitos are only annoying during the summer.
Q: What’s the difference between a Braves fan and a baby?
A: Babies stop whining after a little awhile.
Q: What do the Atlanta Braves and lawn furniture have in common?
A: They both fold in October.
Q: Why is Halloween the Atlanta Braves favorite holiday?
A: It’s the only thing they have to do in October.
Q: How are the Atlanta Braves like a grizzly bear?
A: Every October, they go into hibernation.
Q: Why doesn’t the Atlanta Braves baseball team have a website?
A: They don’t know how to string three W’s together.
Q: Why doesn’t Savannah have a MLB baseball team?
A: Because then Atlanta would want one too.
Q: What does Sean Newcomb and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver at night.
Q: How often do Braves players call each other during the off-season?
A: They touch base every once in a while.
Q: Why did the Atlanta Braves players cry when they lost?
A: They’re a bawl club.
Q: What does Brian Gerald Snitker (Braves coach) and Alex Trebek have in common?
A: Both of their jobs are in Jeopardy.
Q: How did Shane Green pitch a winning baseball game without throwing a ball?
A: He only threw strikes.
Q. Why do ducks fly over SunTrust Park upside down?
A. There’s nothing worth looking at.
Braves Riddle: Nick Markakis leaves home, makes a left turn, another left, and then another left before going home again. When he gets home he finds two men in masks waiting for him! Who are they? Answer: The catcher and the umpire.
Q: What do you call the winning team at Braves home game?
A: Visitors.
Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play for the Atlanta Braves ?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on.
Q: What did the Atlanta Braves fan do when his team won the World Series?
A: Turned off his Xbox.
Q: Who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A: Brian Gerald Snitker – manager of the Atlanta Braves baseball team
Q: How do you know when a Braves pitcher is having a bad day on the mound?
A: When the crowd starts to sing “Take Him Out of The Ball Game.”
Q: What can you do just as well as a Atlanta Braves player?
A: Watch the World Series live on TV.
Q: What rule did the zebra umpire have to explain to the Braves ?
A: Three stripes and you’re out.
Atlanta Braves Knock Knock Jokes
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Let’s Phillip the bases and score some points.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bass.
Bass who?
Bass-ball is my favorite sport.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Howey who?
Howey run so fast to first base?
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the baseball!
More Atlanta Braves Baseball Jokes
Q: What do you call 40 rich people sitting around a TV to watch the World Series?
A: The Atlanta Braves .
Q: Why did the Braves shut down their website?
A: They weren’t getting any hits.
Q: What’s the difference between a SunTrust Park hot dog and a Wrigley Field hot dog?
A: SunTrust Park hot dogs are still being sold in October.
Q: Why is Mike Soroka such a good singer?
A: Because he has a perfect pitch.
Q: What did Freddie Freeman do when the coach said to steal second?
A: He grabbed the base and took it home.
Q: Which Atlanta Braves player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!
Q: When should Atlanta Braves players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.
Q: Why does it take Josh Donaldson longer to run from 2nd base to 3rd base than from 1st base to 2nd base?
A: Because there is a short stop in the middle.
Q: Where shouldn’t a Atlanta Braves pitcher ever wear red?
A: In the BULL pen.
Q: Which cartoon character was Brian Gerald Snitker trying to get on the team?
A: HOMER Simpson.
Q: Why is Brian Gerald Snitker like an angry chicken?
A: They both have fowl mouths.
Q: Why did John Smoltz go to the car dealer?
A: He wanted to learn a sales pitch.
Q: How is the Atlanta Braves roster similar to a pancake?
A: They both need good batters.
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: The Atlanta Braves .
Q: How do Atlanta Braves fans get down from the bleachers?
A: They don’t – you can only get down from a goose.
Q: How do Atlanta Braves baseball players stay cool?
A: By sitting next to the fans.
Q: What does Brian McCann put his food on?
A: Home plate.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the Atlanta Braves baseball?
A: It will leave you in stitches.
Q: What did the Atlanta Braves think about their new stadium lights?
A: They gave it GLOWING reviews.
Q: What song do Braves fans sing before the bottom of the ninth inning?
A: None… the fans have already left by then!
Q: Where do Atlanta Braves players go when they need new uniforms?
A: New Jersey.
