This enormous collection of kid-friendly hippopotamus jokes is sure to bring lots of smiles.
These hippo jokes are great for parents, teachers, zoo staff and, of course, children! All of the hippo jokes on this page are clean and safe for kids of all ages.
Hippopotamus is not an easy word to spell for kids – or adults. One of the most common, incorrect ways to spell it is hippopotimus.
The best hippo jokes for kids of all ages are right here – clean, funny and ready for parent and teachers. Having an zoo party, then these hippopotamus jokes will be great!
Funny Hippo Jokes
Q: What has 100 legs, 25 noses and is very loud?
A: A herd of stampeding hippos.
Q: What kind of hippos live at the North Pole?
A: Really cold ones.
Q: What do you call an orange hippo?
A: An hipporangutan
Q: What do hippos smell like after taking a bath?
A: Wet hippos.
Q: What time is it when a hippopotamus sits on your hat?
A: Time to get a new hat!
Q: What did the dog say to the hippopotamus?
A: Woof.
Q: What’s a hippos favorite kind of music?
A: Hip-hop
Q: What did the hippo call his father?
A: HippoPOPimus.
Q: What does a hippo make when the sun comes out?
A. A shadow.
Q: What should you do to a blue hippopotamus?
A: Tell it funny jokes.
Q: What African animal is big, grey, has flippers and a bill?
A: A Hippoplatypus
Q: Why did the hippopotamus cross the road?
A: It was the chicken’s day off.
Q: What game do you never want to play with an hippopotamus?
A: Squash!
Q: What kind of hippo is trying to take over the world?
A: A hippo-plot-against-us
Q: How do you make sure a hippo is telling you the truth?
A: Make him take the hippocratic Oath.
Q: What was the name of the hippo transformer?
A: Hippo-optimus Prime.
Q: How does a hippopotamus get out of the water?
A: Wet and wrinkled.
Q: Where do hippos always come before penguins?
A: In the dictionary.
Q: What do hippos make when they form a band?
A: Hippopotamusic.
Q: Where do baby hippos come from?
A: Huge storks!!
Q: What time is it when a hippo sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed.
Q: What do you call a hippo without eyes?
A: A hppo.
Q. What’s grey with red spots?
A. A hippopotamus with the measles.
Q: How do you raise a baby hippopotamus?
A: A fork lift.
Q: How can you get a hippo to do whatever you want?
A: Hipponotism.
Q: Why don’t hippos like to play Go Fish?
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: What is as big as a hippopotamus but weighs nothing?
A: His shadow.
Q: What animal can put you in a trance?
A: A hypnopotamus.
Q: Why did the hippo cross the road?
A: To show he wasn’t chicken.
Q: What do you call a hippo who does the opposite of what he says you should do?
A: A hippocrite
Q: What do you call a hippo who always thinks she’s sick?
A: A hippochondriac.
Q: How can you tell if a hippopotamus is in the refrigerator?
A: The door won’t close.
Q: What’s big, Irish, and likes to splash in rivers?
A: A hip O’Potamus.
Q: When does a hippo say “mooooo”?
A: When it is learning to speak cow.
Q: What’s more amazing than a talking hippo?
A: A spelling bee.
Q: What did the hippo get when he started working out every day?
A: Hippopotamuscles.
Q: What happens to hippos who they get too cold?
A: They get hippothermia.
Q: What do you call a hippo in a phone booth?
A: Stuck.
Q: How do you stop a hippopotamus from charging?
A: Take away it’s credit card
Q: What the difference between a herd of hippos and a bushel of red delicious apples?
A: Apples are red, hippos are grey.
Q: What do you call a long haired hippo?
A: A hippy
Q: What happens when hippos get too cold?
A: They get hippothermia.
Q: What do you call hippo who never cleans his room?
A: A hippopota-mess.
Q: How can you tell if a hippo’s been in the refrigerator?
A: Foot prints in the banana cream pie.
Q: What do you call a hippo with a carrot in each ear?
A: Whatever you want because he can’t hear you.
Q: What is as big as a hippo but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow.
Q: What happened to the hippopotamus who ran away with the zoo?
A: The police made him bring it back.
Q: What do you call a jolly hippo?
A: Happo.
A man in a movie theater sees a Hippo sitting next to him…
Man: Are you a Hippo?
Hippo: Yes.
Man: What are you doing at a movie?
Hippo: Well, I liked the book.
Q: What do hippos have that no other animal has?
A: Baby hippos.
Q: Why did the hippopotamus sit on the marshmallow?
A: So it wouldn’t fall into the hot cocoa.
Q: What do you call a fashionable hippopotamus?
A: A hippo-ster.
Q: How can you get a hippo to do whatever you want?
A: Try hipponotism.
Q: Why are hippos such bad dancers?
A: Because they have 2 left feet.
Q: What did the hippopotamus get when he stopped shaving?
A: A hippopotamustache.
Q: What did the hippo listen to music on?
A: His Hi-Pod
Q: How do you keep a hippopotamus from charging?
A: You take away its power adapter.
Q: Why are hippos so wrinkled?
A: Because it takes too long to iron them.
Q: What’s more difficult than getting a hippo your car?
A: Getting TWO hippos into your car.
Q: What do you call two hippos riding the same bicycle?
A: Optimistic.
Q: What do hippos put on their hot dogs?
A: Hippopotamustard.
Q: What did the seven hippos sing on the way to work?
A: Hippo, hippo, it’s off to work we go.
Q: What do you call a hippopotamus riding on the school bus?
A: A student.
Q: What did an old hippo need after falling down?
A:A hippoperation
Q: What do you call a one legged hippo?
A: A hoppo
Q: What do you call an insincere hippopotamus?
A: A hippocrite.
Q: What is a hippos favorite dessert?
A: Hippo-pot-o’mousse
Q: How do you say hello to a hippopotamus?
A: Hi-po.
Q: How does an hippopotamus get down from a ladder?
A: He can’t – you get down from a goose.
Q: What’s the best thing to do if a hippo sneezes?
A: Get out of the way.
Q: Why did the hippopotamus cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
Q: How do hippos commute?
A: In a hippopotabus.
Q: What do you give a seasick hippopotamus?
A: A very big bag.
Q: How do you hire a hippopotamus?
A: By putting it on stilts.
Q: What do you give a seasick hippopotamus?
A: Lots of room.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hip.
Hip who?
It’s not hipwho, it’s hippo!
