Polar Bear Jokes

Looking for some funny polar bear jokes? Check out this great collection of clean polar bear jokes – they’re safe for kids of all ages.

These jokes about polar bears are great for teachers, parents, students, zoo staff and anyone who appreciates polar bears.

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The polar bear, Ursus maritimus, or the sea bear, is the only bear classified as a marine mammal by most countries within its range (the U.S., Norway, Greenland, and Russia). The exception is Canada, which currently classifies the polar bear as a terrestrial mammal.

Interesting Facts:

Polar bears are found across the Arctic. They are most abundant in areas with annual sea ice and productive ringed seal populations. There are five nations with polar bears: U.S. (Alaska), Canada, Russia, Greenland (Kingdom of Denmark), and Norway (Svalbard). Polar bears do not live in Antarctica. Penguins do.

Polar Bear Jokes

Q: What to polar bears eat for lunch?
A: Ice berg-ers

Q: What did the polar bear say to the penguin?
A: What are YOU doing in this half of the world? (FYI: polar bears live in the North, penguins live in the South)

Q: What did the polar bears say when they saw campers in sleeping bags?
A: Hot Pockets!

Q: What did the polar bear have stuck in it’s teeth?
A: Slow Eskimos.

Q: What’s a balanced diet for a polar bear?
A: A seal in each paw

Q: What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed its tooth?
A: The dentist

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Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A: A polar bear.

Q: What did the penguin say to the polar bear?
A: Welcome to the zoo. (Why? Because a zoo is the only way they would see each other since they live in different parts of the world)

Q: What do polar bears like to eat?
A: Brrrrrrrritos.

Q: What are polar bears called when they’re out in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.

Q: Why don’t polar bears like fast food?
A: Because they can’t catch it

Q: What do you call a polar bear on thin ice?
A: An ice breaker

Q: What has four legs and a flipper?
A: A happy polar bear

Q: How does a polar bear stop a DVD?
A: By pressing the “paws” button

Q: How do you keep a polar bear from charging?
A: Make it pay cash

Q: What do you call a dream in which polar bears are chasing you?
A: A bitemare

Q: What do polar bears like to eat in the cold?
A: brrrrr-gers

Q: Why did the polar bear swim across the river?
A: To get to the other side

Q: What did the Polar Bear say when it saw a seal on a bike?
A: Meals on Wheels!

Q: What do you call a big mean polar bear heading your way?
A: Don’t call it anything – just run!

Q: What do you call a polar bear wearing earmuffs?
A: Anything you want because it can’t hear you.

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Q: When is a polar bear not a polar bear?
A: When it’s in a grizzly mood.

Q: Why would polar bears be cheap to keep as pets?
A: They live on ice

Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a rose?
A: I don’t know but I wouldn’t try to smell it

Q: Where do you find polar bears?
A: Wherever you lost them.

Q: What do you get if you cross a dishonest polar bear and a harp seal?
A: A bear faced lyre! (a lyre is a stringed instrument like a small harp)

Q: What is a polar bear’s favorite shape?
A: ICE-osceles triangle.

Q: What kind of hugs do polar bears give?
A: Bear hugs!

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