Christmas Jokes

Bring even more cheer to the Christmas season with these funny Christmas jokes that are safe for kids and funny for everyone.

Christmas boy laughing - jokes for kids
Telling funny Christmas jokes to kids brings lots of smiles, which makes the world a happier place.

If you’re looking for jokes about Christmas, Santa, elves, reindeer, the North Pole – or anything else related to Christmas – then this collection is for you.

All of these Christmas jokes are kid-safe and family-friendly. Perfect for teachers and parents, parties, lunch boxes, craft projects and, of course, for sharing a few laughs. Email or text a joke or just tell some at the dinner table.

The Best Christmas Jokes

Q: Who delievers Christmas presents to elephants?
A: Elephanta Claus

Q: What do you call Santa if he goes down a lit chimney?
A: Crisp Cringle

Q: How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
A: Only one – after that it’s not empty any more

Q: Why is it always cold at Christmas?
A: Because it’s in Decembrrrrrr

Q: When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary

Q: What can you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A: Tinselitus

Q: What do sheep say to each other at Christmas?
A: Merry Christmas to ewe

Q: What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
A: He got 12 months

Q: Who says oh, oh, oh?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards

Q: Who delievers Christmas presents to cats?
A: Santa Claws

Q: What Christmas carol do they sing in the dessert?
A: Camel ye fathful

Q: What color Christmas candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
A: Neither – candles always burn shorter.

Q: What was the elf allergic to?
A: Sh-ELF-ish

Q: Which Christmas carol do parents like the most?
A: Silent Night

Q: What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A: A pineapple

Q: What do you call a greedy elf?
A: Elfish

Q: Who delivers Christmas gifts to Luke Skywalker?
A: Star Claus

Q: Who hides in the bakery during Christmas?
A: A mince spy

Q: What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh?
A: Santa caught in a revolving door

Q: What did the lion at the beach have in common with Christmas?
A: Sandy claws

christmas dog joke
Q: What did the dog say to Santa?
A: Woof.

Q: What does Santa suffer from when he gets stuck in a chimney?
A: Santa Claustrophobia

Q: Why does Santa do in his garden?
A: He hoe hoe hoes

Q: What do reindeer have that no other animals have?
A: Baby reindeer!

Q: What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas version has no L (noel)

Q: What do zombies put on their Christmas turkey?
A: Grave-y

Q: Who delievers Christmas presents to dogs?
A: Santa Paws

Q: What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn’t move?
A: Santa Pause

Q: What kind of music do elves listen to?
A: Wrap

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claus-trophobic

Q: What type of potato chip is Santa’s favorite?
A: Crisp Pringles

Q: Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
A: They both drop needles

Q: What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
A: Snow

Q: What song do monkeys sing at Christmas?
A: Jungle bells.

Q: What is Santa’s dog named?
A: Santa Paws

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
A: He had no body to go with

Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks?
A: Santa Jaws

More Jokes Continue Below

Q: What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with a detective?
A: Santa Clues

Q: Why couldn’t the butterfly go to the Chistmas party?
A: It was a moth ball

Q: Whats will you be at Christmas?
A: Yule be happy

Q: What is Santa’s favorite Olympic event?
A: North Pole-vault

Q: What is the #1 Christmas present?
A: A broken drum – you can’t beat it

Q. What rains at the North Pole?
A. Reindeer

Q. Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
A. RUDE-olph

Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburned elf

Q: Why do reindeer tell such good stories?
A: Because they all have tails

Q: How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
A: You don’t feed it

Q: Boy: Mommy, can I have a dog for Christmas?
A: Mommy: No you’ll have turkey like everyone else.

Q: Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas pie?
A: Your teeth

Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the toys are!

Boy #1: We had Grandma for Christmas dinner?
Boy #2: Really… we had turkey.

Q: What was the librarians favorite Christmas song?
A: Silent Night

Q: Where do you find reindeer?
A: Depends where you left them

Q: Noah: I thought we had two turkeys when we left?
A: Noah’s Wife: Well, it is Christmas…

Q. What did the cow say on Christmas morning?
A. Mooooey Christmas

Q. What never eats at Christmas dinner?
A. The turkey – it’s stuffed

Q: What do you give a train conductor for Christmas?
A: Platform shoes

Q: What is the wettest animal at the North Pole?
A: The rain-deer

Q: What did the cow say to the reindeer?
A: Moo

Q. Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?
A. Because a Christmas tree doesn’t have legs

Q. What is the most romantic part of your body during Christmas?
A. Mistle-toe

Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve

Q: What did the reindeer sing to Santa on his birthday?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow

Q: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
A: Thanks, I’ll never part with it

Q: Did you hear about Dracula’s Christmas party?
A: It was a scream

Q: Why is a burning Christmas candle like being thirsty?
A: Because a little water ends both of them

Q: When should you feed reindeer milk to a baby?
A: When it’s a baby reindeer

Q: Which reindeer have the shortest legs?
A: The smallest ones

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: If a reindeer lost his tail, where would it go for a new one?
A: A retail shop

Q: What did the cat say to the reindeer?
A: Meow

Q: What did the dog say to the reindeer?
A: Woof, woof.

Q: What do you call it when Santa takes a break from delivering presents?
A: Santa pause

Q: What do you call it when Cris Kringle claps his hands?
A: Santapplause

Q: What do you get when you cross Father Christmas with Sherlock Holmes?
A: Santa Clues

Q: What song did the guests sing at the Eskimo’s Christmas party?
A: Freeze a jolly fellow

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