Bring even more cheer to the Christmas season with these funny Christmas jokes that are safe for kids and funny for everyone.
If you’re looking for jokes about Christmas, Santa, elves, reindeer, the North Pole – or anything else related to Christmas – then this collection is for you.
All of these Christmas jokes are kid-safe and family-friendly. Perfect for teachers and parents, parties, lunch boxes, craft projects and, of course, for sharing a few laughs. Email or text a joke or just tell some at the dinner table.
The Best Christmas Jokes
Q: Who delievers Christmas presents to elephants?
A: Elephanta Claus
Q: What do you call Santa if he goes down a lit chimney?
A: Crisp Cringle
Q: How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
A: Only one – after that it’s not empty any more
Q: Why is it always cold at Christmas?
A: Because it’s in Decembrrrrrr
Q: When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary
Q: What can you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Q: What do sheep say to each other at Christmas?
A: Merry Christmas to ewe
Q: What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
A: He got 12 months
Q: Who says oh, oh, oh?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards
Q: Who delievers Christmas presents to cats?
A: Santa Claws
Q: What Christmas carol do they sing in the dessert?
A: Camel ye fathful
Q: What color Christmas candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
A: Neither – candles always burn shorter.
Q: What was the elf allergic to?
Q: Which Christmas carol do parents like the most?
A: Silent Night
Q: What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A: A pineapple
Q: What do you call a greedy elf?
Q: Who delivers Christmas gifts to Luke Skywalker?
A: Star Claus
Q: Who hides in the bakery during Christmas?
A: A mince spy
Q: What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh?
A: Santa caught in a revolving door
Q: What did the lion at the beach have in common with Christmas?
A: Sandy claws
Q: What does Santa suffer from when he gets stuck in a chimney?
A: Santa Claustrophobia
Q: Why does Santa do in his garden?
A: He hoe hoe hoes
Q: What do reindeer have that no other animals have?
A: Baby reindeer!
Q: What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas version has no L (noel)
Q: What do zombies put on their Christmas turkey?
Q: Who delievers Christmas presents to dogs?
A: Santa Paws
Q: What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn’t move?
A: Santa Pause
Q: What kind of music do elves listen to?
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Q: What type of potato chip is Santa’s favorite?
A: Crisp Pringles
Q: Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
A: They both drop needles
Q: What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
Q: What song do monkeys sing at Christmas?
A: Jungle bells.
Q: What is Santa’s dog named?
A: Santa Paws
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
A: He had no body to go with
Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks?
A: Santa Jaws
More Jokes Continue Below
Q: What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with a detective?
A: Santa Clues
Q: Why couldn’t the butterfly go to the Chistmas party?
A: It was a moth ball
Q: Whats will you be at Christmas?
A: Yule be happy
Q: What is Santa’s favorite Olympic event?
A: North Pole-vault
Q: What is the #1 Christmas present?
A: A broken drum – you can’t beat it
Q. What rains at the North Pole?
Q. Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburned elf
Q: Why do reindeer tell such good stories?
A: Because they all have tails
Q: How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
A: You don’t feed it
Q: Boy: Mommy, can I have a dog for Christmas?
A: Mommy: No you’ll have turkey like everyone else.
Q: Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas pie?
A: Your teeth
Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the toys are!
Boy #1: We had Grandma for Christmas dinner?
Boy #2: Really… we had turkey.
Q: What was the librarians favorite Christmas song?
A: Silent Night
Q: Where do you find reindeer?
A: Depends where you left them
Q: Noah: I thought we had two turkeys when we left?
A: Noah’s Wife: Well, it is Christmas…
Q. What did the cow say on Christmas morning?
A. Mooooey Christmas
Q. What never eats at Christmas dinner?
A. The turkey – it’s stuffed
Q: What do you give a train conductor for Christmas?
A: Platform shoes
Q: What is the wettest animal at the North Pole?
A: The rain-deer
Q: What did the cow say to the reindeer?
Q. Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?
A. Because a Christmas tree doesn’t have legs
Q. What is the most romantic part of your body during Christmas?
Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve
Q: What did the reindeer sing to Santa on his birthday?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow
Q: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
A: Thanks, I’ll never part with it
Q: Did you hear about Dracula’s Christmas party?
A: It was a scream
Q: Why is a burning Christmas candle like being thirsty?
A: Because a little water ends both of them
Q: When should you feed reindeer milk to a baby?
A: When it’s a baby reindeer
Q: Which reindeer have the shortest legs?
A: The smallest ones
More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓
Q: If a reindeer lost his tail, where would it go for a new one?
A: A retail shop
Q: What did the cat say to the reindeer?
Q: What did the dog say to the reindeer?
A: Woof, woof.
Q: What do you call it when Santa takes a break from delivering presents?
A: Santa pause
Q: What do you call it when Cris Kringle claps his hands?
Q: What do you get when you cross Father Christmas with Sherlock Holmes?
A: Santa Clues
Q: What song did the guests sing at the Eskimo’s Christmas party?
A: Freeze a jolly fellow