Washington National Jokes

Washington Nationals Jokes for fans and foes of all ages. These are the best Washington Nationals jokes anywhere!

These jokes about the Nationals baseball team are great for parents, teachers, Nationals fans, baseball coaches and kids of all ages. These jokes are even good for Astros fans looking for some good-hearted jokes at the Nationals expense!

Throwing a Washington Nationals party? These jokes about the Nationals baseball team will bring lots of laughs. Write them on pieces of paper or Post-it notes and spread them around. Do a stand-up routine or print them out and do a joke karaoke during the 7th inning stretch.

Washington Nationals Jokes

Q: Who would be the best choice as a Nationals relief pitcher?
A: The mummy – because he knows how to wrap up.

Q: Why should you take Max Scherzer camping with you?
A: To pitch the tent.

Q: Which Nationals pitcher do they root for in Italy?
A: Patrick Corbin – because he played in the Cicero Little League.

Q: What do average Nats fans get on their I.Q. tests?
A: Lots of drool.

Q: Why did Trea Turner wear old stockings when he played?
A: They had runs in them!

Q. Why did Juan Soto bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score if he had to.

Q: What do Nationals ballplayers do when their eyesight goes bad?
A: They get jobs as an umpire.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What’s does a dirty floor and the Washington Nationals have in common?
A: They both get swept.

Q: Which Nationals baseball player holds water?
A: Patrick Corbin – because he a pitcher.

Q: Why are some Nationals Park umpires overweight?
A: They always clean their plate.

Q: Why did David Martinez want spiders to play for the Nationals ?
A: They know how to catch flies.

Q: Why did the police officer go to Nationals Park?
A: Someone stole second base!

Q: What’s more impressive than seeing a line drive?
A: Seeing a baseball park.

Q: Which superhero did the Nationals try to sign as their designated hitter?
A: Batman.

Q: What’s the silliest song to sing at Nationals Park?
A: “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” because everyone is already there!

Q: What do young Nationals fans like about going to the park?
A: The swings.

Q: Why did David Martinez only want frogs in the outfield?
A: They never miss a fly.

Q: What do you get when you cross Nathan Eovaldi with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.

Q: How do Washington Nationals baseball players stay cool?
A: By standing close to the fans.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the Washington Nationals team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.

 

Q: Why do the Nationals lose so many day games?
A: Their bats only wake up at night.

Q: What’s did Cy Young and a professional bowler have in common?
A: You can count on them both to throw strikes.

Funny Washington Nationals Riddles

Q: What happens to a Washington player who breaks the rules?
A: They get a penal-TEA.

Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear Washington Nationals jerseys?
A: It would be a choking hazard.

Q: What do Washington Nationals lose every night?
A. Their shadows.

Q: According to a new poll 95 percent of people love watching baseball.
A: The other 5 percent are Nats fans.

Q: If the Washington Wizards basketball team were chasing the Washington Nationals baseball team, what time would it be?
A: Five after nine.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Nationals baseball player with a monster?
A: A double header.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which Washington Nationals player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.

Q: Where does Adam Eaton go to dance?
A: At a base ball!

Q: What did Kurt Suzuki say to the baseball?
A: Catch you later.

Q: Why is it hotter after a Nationals baseball game?
A: All the fans have left.

Q: When is a Nationals outfielder like a spider?
A: When he catches flies.

Q. What runs around a Nationals Park’s field but never moves?
A: A fence

Q: Why did the police officer go to the Washington Nationals game?
A: He heard that someone stole second base.

Q: Where did the baseball player wash his pants?
A: In the bleachers.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why are Washington Nationals players so rich?
A: Because they play on diamonds.

Q: What does Kurt Suzuki wear on halloween?
A: A Face Mask. (He plays catcher)

Q: Did you tell Victor Robles the joke about the pop fly?
A: Don’t – it will just go over his head.

Q: What is harder for Howie Kendrick to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!

Q: Whats the difference between Washington Nationals fans and mosquitos?
A: Mosquitos are only annoying during the summer.

Q: What’s the difference between a Nationals fan and a baby?
A: Babies stop whining after a little awhile.

Q: What do the Washington Nationals and lawn furniture have in common?
A: They both fold in October.

Q: Why is Halloween the Washington Nationals favorite holiday?
A: It’s the only thing they have to do in October.

Q: How are the Washington Nationals like a grizzly bear?
A: Every October, they go into hibernation.

Q: Why doesn’t the Washington Nationals baseball team have a website?
A: They don’t know how to string three W’s together.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Let’s Phillip the bases and score some points.

Q: What does Daniel Hudson and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver at night.

Q: How often do Nats players call each other during the off-season?
A: They touch base every once in a while.

Q: Why did the Washington Nationals players cry when they lost?
A: They’re a bawl club.

Q: What does David Martinez (Nationals manager) and Alex Trebek have in common?
A: Both of their jobs are in Jeopardy.

Q: How did Anibal Sanchez pitch a winning baseball game without throwing a ball?
A: He only threw strikes.

Q. Why do ducks fly over Nationals Park upside down?
A. There’s nothing worth looking at.

Q: Why did Victor Robles bring a pacifier to the game?
A: He wanted to play like the Babe.

Nationals Riddle: Ryan Zimmerman leaves home, makes a left turn, another left, and then another left before going home again. When he gets home he finds two men in masks waiting for him! Who are they? Answer: The catcher and the umpire.

Q: What do you call the winning team at Nationals home game?
A: Visitors.

Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play for the Washington Nationals ?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on.

Q: What did the Washington Nationals fan do when his team won the World Series?
A: Turned off his Xbox.

Q: Who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A: David Martinez – manager of the Washington Nationals baseball team

Q: How do you know when a Nationals pitcher is having a bad day on the mound?
A: When the crowd starts to sing “Take Him Out of The Ball Game.”

Q: What can you do just as well as a Washington Nationals player?
A: Watch the World Series live on TV.

Q: What rule did the zebra umpire have to explain to the Nationals ?
A: Three stripes and you’re out.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do you call 40 rich people sitting around a TV to watch the World Series?
A: The Washington Nationals .

Q: Why did the Nationals shut down their website?
A: They weren’t getting any hits.

Q: What’s the difference between a Nationals Park hot dog and a Yankee Stadium hot dog?
A: Nationals Park hot dogs are still being sold in October.

Q: Why is Patrick Corbin such a good singer?
A: Because he has a perfect pitch.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bass.
Bass who?
Bass-ball is my favorite sport.

Q: What did Trea Turner do when the coach said to steal second?
A: He grabbed the base and took it home.

Q: Which Washington Nationals player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!

Q: When should Washington Nationals players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.

Q: What did the Washington Nationals think about their new stadium lights?
A: They gave it GLOWING reviews.

Q: What song do Nationals fans sing before the bottom of the ninth inning?
A: None… the fans have already left by then!

Q: Where do Washington Nationals players go when they need new uniforms?
A: New Jersey.
Q: Why does it take Anthony Rendon longer to run from 2nd base to 3rd base than from 1st base to 2nd base?
A: Because there is a short stop in the middle.

Q: Where shouldn’t a Washington Nationals pitcher ever wear red?
A: In the bull pen.

Q: Which cartoon character was David Martinez trying to get on the team?
A: Homer Simpson.

Q: Why is David Martinez like an angry chicken?
A: They both have fowl mouths.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Howey who?
Howey run so fast to first base?

Q: Why did the Austin Voth go to the car dealer?
A: He wanted to learn a sales pitch.

Q: What do you get when you cross a tree with a Washington Nationals baseball player?
A: Babe Root.

Q: How is the Washington Nationals roster similar to a pancake?
A: They both need good batters.

Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: The Washington Nationals .

Q: How do Washington Nationals fans get down from the bleachers?
A: They don’t – you can only get down from a goose.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: How do Washington Nationals baseball players stay cool?
A: By sitting next to the fans.

Q: What does Kurt Suzuki put his food on?
A: Home plate.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the baseball!

Q: What is harder for Trea Turner to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!

Q: Did you hear the joke about the Washington Nationals baseball?
A: It will leave you in stitches.

Halloween Jokes on your Phone or Device

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