Colonist Jokes

Colonist jokes are fun during Thanksgiving holiday and are great for history class. These clean colonist jokes include jokes about settlers and Pilgrims. They are popular with Social Studies teachers, history fans, parents, adults and kids – especially children who enjoy exploring and history.

A colonist is a person who moves to an area and then settles there. You may also be interested in our Thanksgiving Jokes, Pilgrim Jokes and History Jokes.

Colonist Jokes

Q: Why were the settlers so fragrant?
A: They were cologne-ists.

Q: How were the first Americans like ants?
A: They also lived in colonies.

Q: What meal did Pilgrims serve their army?
A: A MylesStan dish (Myles Standish was a military adviser for Plymouth Colony)

Q: What did the colonists do after finishing their meal when dining out?
A: Settled up.

Q: Where do colonists always land?
A: On their feet.

Q: How did the Pilgrims bring their cows to America?
A: On the Mooooo-flower.

Q: Why are colonists such poor baseball players?
A: They don’t go back home.

Q: What did colonists wear at the Boston Tea Party ?
A: T-Shirts.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did the colonists do because of the Stamp Act?
A: They licked the British.

Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
A: Plymouth Rock

Q: Why did the Native Americans hunt bear?
A: They didn’t – they wore clothes!

Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims.

Q: Why did the Pilgrims want to set sail during the spring?
A: Because April showers bring May flowers.

Q: What did one turkey say to the other when they saw the Pilgrims land at Plymouth rock?
A: They look nice. Maybe they’ll have us over for dinner.

Q: If pilgrims travel on the Mayflower, then what do college students travel on?
A: The Scholar Ships.

Q: If there were still Pilgrims alive today, what would they be famous for?
A: Their age!

Q: What’s a pilgrim’s mother called?
A: Pilgranny.

Q: What kind of cars would pilgrims drive today?
A: Plymouths.

Q: Why didn’t the two early settlers get along?
A: They had a history together…

Q: Why did the first newspaper started by Pilgrims fail?
A: They thought they were columnists, but they were actually just colonists.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Q:What kind of tan did pilgrims get?
A: Puritan.

Q: What kind of tea were American colonists searching for?
A: Liberty.

Q: What kind of face do pilgrims make when they’re in pain?
A: Pil-grimace.

Q: What do pilgrim’s learn in school?
A: Pilgrammar.

Q: What did vampire Pilgrims call Thanksgiving?
A: Fangs-giving.

Q: What did Pilgrims put in their pumpkin pie?
A: Their teeth.

Q: Could Pilgrims jump higher than their houses?
A: Of course – houses can’t jump at all.

Q: Why did the Pilgrim band need a turkey?
A: For the drumsticks!

Q: What did the Pilgrim wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: A Har-VEST.

Q: What did the young Pilgrim say when his Mom wanted his help to fix Thanksgiving dinner?
A: But I didn’t break it!

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What showed us how much the Mayflower liked America?
A: The way it hugged the shore.

Q: What’s the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
A: Pilgram.

Q: What do you call the evil being that comes to get pilgrims?
A: Pilgrim Reaper.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Pilgrim with a cracker?
A: A Pilgraham.

Q: Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?
A: Because his belt buckle was on his hat.

Q: If there were still Pilgrims alive today, what would they be famous for?
A: Their age!

Q: What’s a pilgrim’s mother called?
A: Pilgranny.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did the Pilgrims get when they crossed a turkey with a ghost?
A: A poultrygeist!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the ocean?
A: To get to the other side.

Q: What did King George think of American colonists?
A: He felt they were revolting.

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