Colonist Jokes

Colonist jokes are fun during Thanksgiving holiday and are great for history class.

A colonist is a person who moves to an area and then settles there. You may also be interested in our Thanksgiving Jokes, Pilgrim Jokes and History Jokes.

Colonist Jokes

Q: Why were the settlers so fragrant?
A: They were cologne-ists.

Q: How were the first Americans like ants?
A: They also lived in colonies.

Q: What meal did Pilgrims serve their army?
A: A MylesStan dish (Myles Standish was a military adviser for Plymouth Colony)

Q: What did the colonists do after finishing their meal when dining out?
A: Settled up.

Q: Where do colonists always land?
A: On their feet.

Q: How did the Pilgrims bring their cows to America?
A: On the Mooooo-flower.

Q: Why are colonists such poor baseball players?
A: They don’t go back home.

Q: What did colonists wear at the Boston Tea Party ?
A: T-Shirts.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did the colonists do because of the Stamp Act?
A: They licked the British.

Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
A: Plymouth Rock

Q: Why did the Native Americans hunt bear?
A: They didn’t – they wore clothes!

Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims.

Q: Why did the Pilgrims want to set sail during the spring?
A: Because April showers bring May flowers.

Q: What did one turkey say to the other when they saw the Pilgrims land at Plymouth rock?
A: They look nice. Maybe they’ll have us over for dinner.

Q: If pilgrims travel on the Mayflower, then what do college students travel on?
A: The Scholar Ships.

Q: If there were still Pilgrims alive today, what would they be famous for?
A: Their age!

Q: What’s a pilgrim’s mother called?
A: Pilgranny.

Q: What kind of cars would pilgrims drive today?
A: Plymouths.

Q: Why did the first newspaper started by Pilgrims fail?
A: They thought they were columnists, but they were actually just colonists.

Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q:What kind of tan did pilgrims get?
A: Puritan.

Q: What kind of tea were American colonists searching for?
A: Liberty.

Q: What kind of face do pilgrims make when they’re in pain?
A: Pil-grimace.

Q: What do pilgrim’s learn in school?
A: Pilgrammar.

Q: What did vampire Pilgrims call Thanksgiving?
A: Fangs-giving.

Q: What did Pilgrims put in their pumpkin pie?
A: Their teeth.

Q: Could Pilgrims jump higher than their houses?
A: Of course – houses can’t jump at all.

Q: Why did the Pilgrim band need a turkey?
A: For the drumsticks!

Q: What did the Pilgrim wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: A Har-VEST.

Q: What did the young Pilgrim say when his Mom wanted his help to fix Thanksgiving dinner?
A: But I didn’t break it!

Q: What showed us how much the Mayflower liked America?
A: The way it hugged the shore.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What’s the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
A: Pilgram.

Q: What do you call the evil being that comes to get pilgrims?
A: Pilgrim Reaper.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Pilgrim with a cracker?
A: A Pilgraham.

Q: Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?
A: Because his belt buckle was on his hat.

Q: If there were still Pilgrims alive today, what would they be famous for?
A: Their age!

Q: What’s a pilgrim’s mother called?
A: Pilgranny.

Q: What did the Pilgrims get when they crossed a turkey with a ghost?
A: A poultrygeist!

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why did the turkey cross the ocean?
A: To get to the other side.

Q: What did King George think of American colonists?
A: He felt they were revolting.

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