Geography Jokes

Check out our collection of funny geography jokes! Not only are they funny, but these jokes about geography are clean and safe for all ages.

These jokes about geography are great for parents, grandparents, teachers, cartographers, travelers, scientists and anyone looking to share some laughs relating to geography – especially children!

These are geography-themed jokes – so it includes jokes about maps, countries, regions, U.S. states, latitude, longitude, cartography and more.

Geography Jokes

Q: What is round at each end and high in the middle?
A: Ohio.

Q: What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile?
A: Juveniles.

Q: Why did the dot go to college?
A: To become a graduated symbol.

Q: What is the coldest country in the world?
A: Chile.

Q: Why don’t you see penguins in Great Britain?
A: Because they’re afraid of Wales.

Q: What is the most expensive city to visit in Spain?
A: Costa Fortune.

Q: In which California city can you find the best dancing?
A: San Frandisco.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why was the map gesturing in a wild way?
A: It was an animated map.

Q: Who was Mississippi married too?
A: Mister Sippi.

Q: Which city has a lot of sand?
A: Sand Francisco.

Q: If you put a yellow rock in the Red Sea, what will happen?
A: It will get wet!

Q: What’s in the middle of India?
A: The letter D.

Q: What’s in the middle of Paris?
A: The letter R.

Q: What is the smallest state?
A: Mini-Sota (Minnesota).

Q: What U.S. state is best at producing cheese?
A: Swiss-consin.

Q: What is in the center of America?
A: The letter R.

Q: What’s big, furry, white and always points North?
A: A Polar Bearing.

Q: Did you hear about Italy?
A: It got Hungary, ate Turkey, slipped on Greece, went shopping in Iceland and then got eaten by Wales.

Q: If a plane crashed on the border of Mexico and USA, where would they bury the survivors?
A: Nowhere, because survivors are the people who lived.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Who was the penguin’s favorite aunt?
A: Aunt Arctica.

Q: What did Tennessee?
A: The same thing as Arkansas!

Q: What do you call someone from Detroit who talks too much?
A: A Motor-City mouth.

Q: What did the ocean say to the shore?
A: Nothing – it just waved.

Q: What do penguins wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps.

Q: How are maps like fish?
A: The all have scales.

Q: Why is Mississippi such an unusual river?
A: It has four eyes bit it still can’t see anything.

Q: What is the biggest pan in the world?
A: Japan.

Q: Why does west longitude need to be cheered up?
A: Because it is always negative.

Q: What has a mouth but can’t eat?
A: A river.

Q: Where do pencils come from?
A: Pennsylvania.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did the daddy volcano say to his son?
A: I lava you.

Q: What has four eyes but still can’t see?
A: Mississippi.

Q: Why did the map always get in trouble?
A: It had a bad latitude.

Q: How can you tell that compasses and scales are intelligent?
A: Because they all graduated.

Q: Which country do pirates love to sail their ships to?
A: AARRRGHentina.

Q: Which state does the most laundry?
A: WASHington.

Q: Why does it take so long to get into Florida?
A: Because there are so many keys to go through.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did Delaware?
A: Her New Jersey.

Q: What map element plays in the school band?
A: The symbols (cymbals).

Q: Which country is the fastest in the world?
A: Rush-a.

Q: What is smarter, longitude or latitude?
A: Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.

Q: Which tower couldn’t fit any more people inside?
A: The I Full Tower

Q: Where do senators send their dirty clothes?
A: Wash-ington D.C..

Q: What do you call a map guide to prison?
A: A con-tour map.

Q: What are the Great Plains?
A: The 747, Concorde and F-16.

Q: Where is the English Channel?
A: It depends who your cable provider is.

Q: Why does the Moon orbit the Earth?
A: To get to the other side.

Q: What is the capital of Alaska?
A: Don’t Juneau this one?

Q: What is the capital of Washington?
A: W.

Q: What rock group has four men that never sing?
A: Mount Rushmore.

Q: What sort of pudding roams wild in Canada?
A: Mousse (moose).

Q: What is the happiest state in the United States?
A: Merry-land.

Q: Why are paper maps so useful at the laundromat?
A: They fold nicely.

Q: What Asian city cheats when taking exams?
A: Peking.

Q: What has 5 eyes and is lying on the water?
A: The Mississippi River

Q: Where do pianists go for a vacation?
A: The Florida Keys.

Q: Why can fish measure weight so well?
A: Because they have their own scales.

Q: Why did the cartographer put a band-aid on the map?
A: Because it had a bleeding edge.

Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In river banks.

Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake?
A: You crack me up.

Q: What type of rocks do young geologists play with?
A: Marbles.

Q: What stays in the corner, but travels around the world?
A: A stamp.

Q: What is the tidiest element on a map?
A: The neatline.

Q: What is the biggest mark in the world?
A: Denmark.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which U.S. state is the smartest?
A: Alabama – it has four A’s and one B.

Q: What do you get if you cross a farm animal with a map maker?
A: A cow-tographer.

Q: What is the most polite building in the world?
A: The leaning tower of Please-a.

Q: What area did Avogadro explore?
A: The South Mole. (Learn about Avogadro & Mole Day)

Q: What’s in the middle of the ocean?
A: The letter E.

Q: What goes thousands of miles and never moves?
A: A highway.

Q: What do Lawrence Taylor and a map key have in common?
A: Both are legends.

Q: Why was longitude boiling mad?
A: Because it was 360 degrees.

Q: Which is the biggest cow in the world that doesn’t give milk?
A: Moscow.

Q: Which rope is the biggest in the world?
A: Europe.

Q: What runs but never gets out of breath?
A: A river.

Q: What do they call the city without any small apples?
A: Mini-apple-less.

Q: In what way does a moon rock taste different than an Earth rock?
A: It’s a little meteor.

Q: Which building is the tallest in the world?
A: The library – it has the most stories.

Q: If you drop your white hat in the Black Sea, what will it become?
A: It will become wet!

Q: How did Christopher Columbus pay for his trip to the new land?
A: He used his Discover card.

Q: What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?
A: A high-pot-in-use.

Q: Where do you find oceans without water?
A: On a map.

Q: Why didn’t the geography student get a college scholarship?
A: His grades were below C-level.

Q: Where is it always 90 degrees, but never hot?
A: The North and South Poles.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What kind of contours can see in the darkness?
A: Illuminated contours.

Teacher: Tell me about the Dead Sea.
Student: Dead Sea? I didn’t even know it was sick!

Q: Which state can quench your thirst?
A: Mini Soda (Minnesota)

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