Dallas Cowboys Jokes

Looking for funny Dallas Cowboys jokes?

This is the best collection of Dallas Cowboys jokes you’ll find online that are family-friendly and safe for kids of all ages.

These Dallas Cowboys jokes are great for parents, Dallas Cowboys fans, sports fans, football fans – and anyone with an interest in the Dallas Cowboys (including fans of their opponents).

You’ll find silly Dallas Cowboys jokes, funny cowboy jokes, knock knock jokes and more.

Funny Dallas Cowboys Jokes

Q: Why do the Dallas Cowboys draft ballet dancers as their kickers?
A: They know how to split the uprights!

Q: Which Dallas Cowboys player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!

Q. Why did the Dallas Cowboys football kicker bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score

Q. What runs around the AT&T Stadium football field but never moves?
A: A wall

Q: What are successful Dallas Cowboys kickers always trying to do?
A: Reach goals.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the football!

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A: Jerry Jones – owner of the Dallas Cowboys football team

Q: Why did the Dallas Cowboys football players cry when they lost?
A: They’re a bawl club.

Q: Who does the Dallas Cowboys zombie team play every season?
A: The DEADskins.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur in a Dallas Cowboys uniform?
A: T-Tex

Q: How did the Dallas Cowboys quarterback know he was about to get sacked?
A: He herd it coming.

Q: Why do the Dallas Cowboys laugh so much during a game?
A: Because they’re always horsing around!

Q: What do Dallas Cowboys players put on their salads?
A: Ranch dressing.

Q: What is harder for a Dallas Cowboys receiver to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hanna.
Hanna who?
Hanna ball off to me, Dak!

Q: What do Dallas Cowboys lose every night?
A. Their shadows.

Q: What’s the first thing they teach in Dallas Cowboys training camp?
A: Never squat with your spurs on.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What basketball team do Dallas Cowboys root for?
A: The Spurs.

Q: What was the Dallas Cowboys player’s reply when he was accused of passing gas in the team huddle?
A: Darn Tootin’

Q: What can Dallas Cowboys catch if a Denver player sneezes on them?
A: Bronco-itis

Q: What did the Dallas Cowboy’s player think about their new stadium lights?
A: They gave it GLOWING reviews.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Howey who?
Howey run so fast?

Q: When should Dallas Cowboys football players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.

Q: What is as big as a Dallas Cowboys center, but weighs nothing?
A: His shadow.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Dallas Cowboys quarterback with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans to the face is a penalty.

Q: What did Michael Gallup say to the football before the game?
A: Catch you later.

Q: Did you hear about the joke that Dak Prescott told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do Dallas Cowboys players do when they get overheated?
A: They get closer to some of the fans.

Q: Why can’t Dak Prescott use his phone?
A: Because he can’t find the receiver.

Q: Why did the Dallas Cowboys quarterback make his bed out of straw?
A: To feed his night mares (about getting sacked!)

Q: How did the Dallas Cowboys get to the Dallas Stars hockey game?
A: On a Zam-pony

Q. How are Dallas Cowboys opponents like lazy neighbors?
A. They rarely pick up a yard.

Q: How is the Dallas Cowboys pass rush like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall they go into hibernation.

Q: Where do Dallas football players dance?
A: At a foot ball!

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball Terrance Williams!

Q: What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill?
A: You can always get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What is the difference between a Dallas Cowboys fan and a baby?
A: Babies stop crying after awhile.

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Dallas Cowboys.

Q: Which Dallas Cowboys player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.

Q: What does a Dallas Cowboys coach and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sunday.

Q: How do you keep a Dallas Cowboys out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why did so many Dallas Cowboys players say they had the Swine Flu?
A: So they wouldn’t have to touch the pigskin.

Q: What do Dallas Cowboys receivers and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither is open on Sundays!

Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the Dallas Cowboys?
A: They needed a little team spirit.

Q: What’s the best way to teach your dog to roll over?
A: Have him watch the Dallas Cowboys defense play a game.

Q: Why don’t the Dallas Cowboys have a website?
A: They can’t string three “Ws” together.

Q: Where do you go in Dallas in case of a tornado?
A: Dallas Stadium (AT&T Stadium) – they never get a touchdown there!

Q: What kind of tea do Dallas Cowboys drink?
A: Penaltea

Q. Why do ducks fly over AT&T Stadium with their eyes closed?
A. There’s nothing worth seeing!

Q: What’s the difference between Dallas Cowboys fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear Dallas Cowboys jerseys?
A: It would be a choking hazard.

Q: According to a new poll 95 percent of people love Sundays.
A: The other 5 percent are Dallas Cowboys fans.

Q: How do Dallas Cowboys players stay cool?
A: By standing close to the fans.

Q: Where should you go if you are scared of catching the flu?
A: The Dallas Cowboys end zone – they don’t catch anything there.

Q: Why did Jason Garrett go to the bank?
A: To get his quarter back.

Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play for the Dallas Cowboys?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on.

Q: What’s a touchdown?
A: I’m not sure – I’m a Dallas Cowboys fan.

Q: What do Dallas Cowboys players wear on halloween?
A: Face Masks!

Q: What kind of pastry does Dak Prescott eat most?
A: Turnovers, unfortunately.

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