Funny Color Guard jokes for band directors, instructors, color guard directors, winter guard performers, band parents and anyone who enjoys Color Guard.
Color guards, also called flag corps, perform choreographed dances and routines with equipment that enhances the music of a marching band show. They use things like flags, rifles and sabers in their performances.
This is the best collection of Color Guard jokes anywhere. These jokes about Color Guard are clean and safe for kids of all ages.
You’ll find jokes about flag spinning, flag, rifle, saber, prop, sabres and more.
Color Guard Jokes
Q: Why was the girl kicked out of color guard?
A: Too much cheater tape.
Q: Why does a field get warm after a color guard competition?
A: Because all the fans have left.
Q: Which color guard members can jump higher than the judges table?
A: All of them – a table can’t jump.
Q: Why did the color guard throw grass at the band?
A: They were told to blade toss.
Q: Why did Bob the builder show up to the color guard competition?
A: He was told there would be drills.
Q: Why did the color guard director hire football officials?
A: To throw flags.
Q: Which rock star was in color guard?
A: Joan Jete. (Jete is a dance move, Joan Jett is a rock star.)
Q: Why did they have a stove at the Color Guard practice?
A: To teach them how to Saute. (Saute is a dance leap)
Q: Why didn’t they have color guard before 1953?
A: Color tv didn’t come out until then!
Q: What 90’s musical group can Color Guard relate to?
A: NSync.
Q: What’s the best part of an Autumn marching band competition?
A: The color gourd.
Q: Why don’t they hold Color Guard competitions in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: Which hockey team do Color Guard members cheer for?
A: Sabres.
Q: What answer did the color guard director get when she asked the performer to pay a little attention?
A: But I’m paying as little attention as I can!
Q: What are ten things color guard directors can always count on?
A: Their fingers!
Q: How are scrambled eggs like a losing color guard ?
A: They’re both beaten.
Q: What gives color guard their energy?
A: The battery.
Q: What is the longest distance between two points?
A: A parade.
Q: What do color guard and naughty football players have in common?
A: They get flagged!
Q: Which color guard performer wears the biggest shoes?
A: The one with the biggest feet!
Q: Who protects the marching band instruments?
A: The color guard.
Q: Why does the color guard have so much cash?
A: Money hands.
Q: Why was the softball player so good at color guard?
A: She had a grand slam position.
Q: What is the name of the newest part of the school’s marching band?
A: The Avant-Garde
Q: Who did the band director call in to investigate the case of the missing flags?
A: Scotland Guard.
