Track and Field Jokes

Funny Track and Field Jokes for runners, athletes, coaches, parents and everyone who is a fan of track and field events.

Track and field jokes can be fun for everyone, but especially those interested in discus, shot put, javelin, hammer throw, pole vault, long jump, high jump, triple jump, running and sprinting.

This collection of jokes relating to track and field sports are clean and safe for all ages.

Track and Field Sports Jokes

Q: Where do you find the chattiest track athletes?
A: At discus.

Q: Which track event has a height limit?
A: Short put.

Q: Which track event is caffeinated?
A: A: Java-lin.

Q: How do you gain ten seconds on the person you’re racing?
A: Untie their shoe laces.

Q: How do you gain twenty seconds on the person you’re racing?
A: Tie their shoe laces together.

Q. Why did the Scandinavians win the relay race?
A. They started near the Finnish line…

Q: Which mobile phone carrier do track stars use?
A: Sprint.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why was the sprinter never allowed to season the soup?
A: Too many dashes.

Q: Which city has the most relay racers?
A: Baton Rouge.

Q: Why can’t you hear runners when they’re training?
A: They wear sneakers…

Q: How do you gain one second on the person you’re racing?
A: Tell them their shoe laces are untied.

Q: Which track event was Thor the champion?
A: Hammer throw.

Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a head and the tomato tried to ketchup.

Q: How did the barber win the race?
A: He took a short cut.

Q: What do you call a free treadmill?
A: The road…

Q: What do you get when you run behind a car?
A: Exhausted

Q: Why shouldn’t you let a sprinter be a juror?
A: Because you’ll end up with a runaway jury.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from running hurdles —can we take the elevator?

Q: Why did the vegetarian quit track?
A: He didn’t like meets!

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do a dentist and a track coach have in common?
A: They both use drills!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hydrate who?
Hydrate you a 9 out of 10…

Q: Why do runners always want to go to college?
A: Education pays off in the long run.

Q: How did the runner run for 3-hours but only move two feet?
A: He only had two feet!

Q: Why shouldn’t you take a nap during a race?
A: If you snooze, you lose!

Q: What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.

Q: What did the runner drink when she was in last place?
A: Ketchup.

Q: Why did the pig lose at the track meet?
A: He pulled a HAM string.

Q: What do runners put on their nachos?
A: PACE picante sauce.

Q: How did the cabbage do at the track invitational?
A: It was a head the whole time…

Q: How do runners see at night?
A: With electrolytes.

Q: Why did the relay team like to run along the ocean?
A: For the Endolphins.

Q: Why did the runner need a loan?
A: Oxygen Debt

Q: Where do crazy sprinters like to run?
A: On the psycho path.

Q. What should slow runners eat before a big race?
A. Fast food.

Q: What was the runner’s favorite school subject?
A: Jog-raphy.

Q: How do you get a runner to remember you?
A: Jog their memory

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