Funny jokes for Boston Red Sox fans and baseball fans of all ages. This is the best collection of clean Boston Red Sox jokes anywhere!
These jokes about the Red Sox baseball team are great for parents, teachers, Boston Red Sox fans, baseball coaches, babysitters and kids of all ages.
These jokes are even good for Yankees fans looking for some good-hearted jokes at the Red Sox expense! You can always visit the Yankees Jokes page for some chuckles about them.
Throwing a Boston Red Sox party? These jokes about the Boston Red Sox will bring lots laughs. Write them on pieces of paper or Post-it notes and spread them around. Do a standup routine or print them out and do a joke karaoke during the 7th inning stretch.
Did you know… The Red Sox beat the Pirates in the first World Series in 1903 and won four more championships by 1918. Then they went into one of the longest championship droughts in baseball history. It was called the “Curse of the Bambino” after they traded Babe Ruth (who was called the Bambino) to the New York Yankees. They waited 86-years before earning their sixth Championship in 2004.
Boston Red Sox Jokes
Q: Why did Ted Williams wear old stockings when he played?
A: They had runs in them!
Q. Why did Brock Holt bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score if he had to.
Q: What do average Sox fans get on their I.Q. tests?
A: Lots of drool.
Q: Who would be the best choice as a Red Sox relief pitcher?
A: The mummy – because he knows how to wrap up.
Q: Why should you take Chris Sale camping with you?
A: To pitch the tent.
Q: What do Red Sox ballplayers do when their eyesight goes bad?
A: They get jobs as an umpire.
Q: What’s does a dirty floor and the Boston Red Sox have in common?
A: They both get swept.
Q: Which Red Sox baseball player holds water?
A: David Price – because he a pitcher.
Q: Why are some Fenway Park umpires overweight?
A: They always clean their plate.
Q: Why did Alex Cora want spiders to play for the Red Sox?
A: They know how to catch flies.
Q: Why did the police officer go to Fenway Park?
A: Someone stole second base!
Q: What’s more impressive than seeing a line drive?
A: Seeing a baseball park.
Q: Which superhero did the Red Sox try to sign as their designated hitter?
A: Batman.
Q: What’s the silliest song to sing at Fenway Park?
A: “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” because everyone is already there!
Q: What do young Red Sox fans like about going to the park?
A: The swings.
Q: Why did Alex Cora only want frogs in the outfield?
A: They never miss a fly.
Q: What do you get when you cross Nathan Eovaldi with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.
Q: How do Boston Red Sox baseball players stay cool?
A: By standing close to the fans.
Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the Boston Red Sox team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.
Q: Why do the Red Sox lose so many day games?
A: Their bats only wake up at night.
Q: What’s did Cy Young and a professional bowler have in common?
A: You can count on them both to throw strikes.
Q: What happens to a Boston player who breaks the rules?
A: They get a penal-TEA.
Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear Boston Red Sox jerseys?
A: It would be a choking hazard.
Q: What do Boston Red Sox lose every night?
A. Their shadows.
Q: According to a new poll 95 percent of people love watching baseball.
A: The other 5 percent are Sox fans.
Q: If the Boston Celtics basketball team were chasing the Boston Red Sox baseball team, what time would it be?
A: Five after nine.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Red Sox baseball player with a monster?
A: A double header.
Q: Which Boston Red Sox player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.
Q: Where does Ian Kinsle go to dance?
A: At a base ball!
Q: What did Sandy Leon say to the baseball?
A: Catch you later.
Q: Why is it hotter after a Red Sox baseball game?
A: All the fans have left.
Q: When is a Red Sox outfielder like a spider?
A: When he catches flies.
Q. What runs around a Fenway Park’s field but never moves?
A: A fence
Q: Why did the police officer go to the Boston Red Sox game?
A: He heard that someone stole second base.
Q: Where did the baseball player wash his pants?
A: In the bleachers.
Q: Why are Boston Red Sox players so rich?
A: Because they play on diamonds.
Q: What does Sandy Leon wear on halloween?
A: A Face Mask. (He plays catcher)
Q: Did you tell Mookie Betts the joke about the pop fly?
A: Don’t – it will just go over his head.
Q: What should you never give a Boston Red Sox player for Christmas?
A: A Sox Candle.
Q: What is harder for Jackie Bradley Jr. to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!
Q: Whats the difference between Boston Red Sox fans and mosquitos?
A: Mosquitos are only annoying during the summer.
Q: What’s the difference between a Red Sox fan and a baby?
A: Babies stop whining after a little awhile.
Q: What do the Boston Red Sox and lawn furniture have in common?
A: They both fold in October.
Q: Why is Halloween the Boston Red Sox favorite holiday?
A: It’s the only thing they have to do in October.
Q: How are the Boston Red Sox like a grizzly bear?
A: Every October, they go into hibernation.
Q: Why doesn’t the Boston Red Sox baseball team have a website?
A: They don’t know how to string three W’s together.
Q: Why doesn’t Worcester City have a professional baseball team?
A: Because then Boston would want one too.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Let’s Phillip the bases and score some points.
Q: What does Alex Cora and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver at night.
Q: How often do Sox players call each other during the off-season?
A: They touch base every once in a while.
Q: Why did the Boston Red Sox players cry when they lost?
A: They’re a bawl club.
Q: What does Alex Cora (Red Sox manager) and Alex Trebek have in common?
A: Both of their jobs are in Jeopardy.
Q: How did Rick Porcello pitch a winning baseball game without throwing a ball?
A: He only threw strikes.
Q. Why do ducks fly over Fenway Park upside down?
A. There’s nothing worth looking at.
Q: Why did Mookie Betts bring a pacifier to the game?
A: He wanted to play like the Babe.
Red Sox Riddle: Ian Kinsle leaves home, makes a left turn, another left, and then another left before going home again. When he gets home he finds two men in masks waiting for him! Who are they? Answer: Gary Sanchez (the catcher) and the umpire.
Q: What do you call the winning team at Red Sox home game?
A: Visitors.
Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play for the Boston Red Sox?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on.
Q: What did the Boston Red Sox fan do when his team won the World Series?
A: Turned off his Xbox.
Q: Who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A: Alex Cora – manager of the Boston Red Sox baseball team
Q: How do you know when a Red Sox pitcher is having a bad day on the mound?
A: When the crowd starts to sing “Take Him Out of The Ball Game.”
Q: What can you do just as well as a Boston Red Sox player?
A: Watch the World Series live on TV.
Q: What rule did the zebra umpire have to explain to the Red Sox?
A: Three stripes and you’re out.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball.
Q: What do you call 40 rich people sitting around a TV to watch the World Series?
A: The Boston Red Sox.
Q: Why did the Red Sox shut down their website?
A: They weren’t getting any hits.
Q: What’s the difference between a Fenway Park hot dog and a Yankee Stadium hot dog?
A: Fenway Park hot dogs are still being sold in October.
Q: Why is Nathan Eovaldi such a good singer?
A: Because he has a perfect pitch.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bass.
Bass who?
Bass-ball is my favorite sport.
Q: What did J.D. Martinez do when the coach said to steal second?
A: He grabbed the base and took it home.
Q: Which Boston Red Sox player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!
Q: When should Boston Red Sox players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.
Q: Why does it take Xander Bogaerts longer to run from 2nd base to 3rd base than from 1st base to 2nd base?
A: Because there is a short stop in the middle.
Q: Where shouldn’t a Boston Red Sox pitcher ever wear red?
A: In the bull pen.
Q: Which cartoon character was Alex Cora trying to get on the team?
A: Homer Simpson.
Q: Why is Alex Cora like an angry chicken?
A: They both have fowl mouths.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Howey who?
Howey run so fast to first base?
Q: Why did the Rick Porcello go to the car dealer?
A: He wanted to learn a sales pitch.
Q: What do you get when you cross a tree with a Boston Red Sox baseball player?
A: Babe Root.
Q: How is the Boston Red Sox roster similar to a pancake?
A: They both need good batters.
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: The Boston Red Sox.
Q: How do Boston Red Sox fans get down from the bleachers?
A: They don’t – you can only get down from a goose.
Q: How do Boston Red Sox baseball players stay cool?
A: By sitting next to the fans.
Q: What does Sandy Leon put his food on?
A: Home plate.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the baseball!
Q: What is harder for J.D. Martinez to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!
Q: Did you hear the joke about the Boston Red Sox baseball?
A: It will leave you in stitches.
Q: What did the Boston Red Sox think about their new stadium lights?
A: They gave it GLOWING reviews.
Q: What song do Red Sox fans sing before the bottom of the ninth inning?
A: None… the fans have already left by then!
Q: Where do Boston Red Sox players go when they need new uniforms?
A: New Jersey.
