New York Yankees Jokes

Fun jokes for New York Yankees fans and baseball fans of all ages.

This is the best collection of funny New York Yankees jokes anywhere! These jokes about the Yankees baseball team are great for parents, teachers, New York Yankees fans, baseball coaches, babysitters and kids of all ages. They’re even good for Red Sox fans looking for some good-hearted jokes at the Yankees expense!

Throwing a New York Yankees party? These jokes about the New York Yankees will bring lots laughs. Write them on pieces of paper or Post-it notes and spread them around. Do a standup routine or print them out and do a joke karaoke during the 7th inning stretch.

Did you know… The New York Yankees are one of the most successful sports clubs in history. They have won 18 division titles, 40 American League pennants, and 27 World Series championships. These are all Major League Baseball (MLB) records. That is no joke!

New York Yankees Jokes

Q: Which Yankees baseball player holds water?
A: CC Sabathia – because he a pitcher.

Q: Why are some Yankee Stadium umpires overweight?
A: They always clean their plate.

Q: Why did Aaron Boone want spiders to play for the Yankees?
A: They know how to catch flies.

Q: Why did the police officer go to Yankee Stadium?
A: Someone stole second base!

Q: What’s more impressive than seeing a line drive?
A: Seeing a baseball park.

Q: Which superhero did the Yankees try to sign as their designated hitter?
A: Batman.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What’s the silliest song to sing at Yankee Stadium?
A: “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” because everyone is already there!

Q: What do young Yankees fans like about going to the park?
A: The swings.

Q: Why did Aaron Boone only want frogs in the outfield?
A: They never miss a fly.

Q: What do you get when you cross CC Sabathia with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.

Q: How do New York Yankees baseball players stay cool?
A: By standing close to the fans.

Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the New York Yankees team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.

Q: Why do the Yankees lose so many day games?
A: Their bats only wake up at night.

Q: Who gives the NY Yankees their energy?
A: Luke Voit

Q: What’s do Luis Cessa and a professional bowler have in common?
A: You can count on them both to throw strikes.

Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear New York Yankees jerseys?
A: It would be a choking hazard.

Q: Why should you take Mariano Rivera camping with you?
A: To pitch the tent.

Q: Which famous Yankees pitcher laid the most eggs?
A: Goose Gossage.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which famous Yankees player was the MVP when camping out?
A: Sparkly Lyle – he could always light the campfire.

Q: Why does Aaron Judge wear old socks when plays?
A: They have runs in them.

Q. Why did Aaron Judge bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score if he had to.

Q: What do average Red Sox fans get on their I.Q. tests?
A: Lots of drool.

Q: Who would be the best choice as a Yankees relief pitcher?
A: The mummy – because he knows how to wrap up.

Q: What do Yankees ballplayers do when their eyesight goes bad?
A: They get jobs as an umpire.

Q: What’s does a dirty floor and the Boston Red Sox have in common?
A: They both get swept.

Q: What do New York Yankees lose every night?
A. Their shadows.

According to a new poll 95 percent of people love watching baseball. The other 5 percent are Red Sox fans.

Q: What is the difference between Yankees fans and dentists?
A: One roots for the Yanks and the other yanks for the roots.

Q: If the NY Knicks basketball team were chasing the NY Yankees baseball team, what time would it be?
A: Five after nine.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do you get when you cross a Yankees baseball player with a monster?
A: A double header.

Q: Which New York Yankees player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.

Q: Where does Didi Gregorius go to dance?
A: At a base ball!

Q: What did Gary Sanchez say to the baseball?
A: Catch you later.

Q: Why is hotter after a Yankees baseball game?
A: All the fans have left.

Q: When is a Yankees outfielder like a spider?
A: When he catches flies.

Q: Why was it so hard to get Aaron Boone on the phone?
A: Someone yanked his phone away.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q. What runs around a Yankee Stadium’s field but never moves?
A: A fence

Q: Why did the police officer go to the New York Yankees game?
A: He heard that someone stole second base.

Q: Where did the baseball player wash his pants?
A: In the bleachers.

Q: Why are New York Yankees players so rich?
A: Because they play on diamonds.

Q: What does Gary Sanchez wear on halloween?
A: A Face Mask. (He plays catcher)

Q: Did you tell Andrew McCutchen the joke about the pop fly?
A: Don’t – it will just go over his head.

Q: What job did the New York Yankees player have during the winter?
A: Working at Yankee Candle.

Q: What is harder for Miguel Andujar to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!

Q: Whats the difference between New York Yankees fans and mosquitos?
A: Mosquitos are only annoying during the summer.

Q: What’s the difference between a NY Yankees fan and a baby?
A: Babies stop whining after a little awhile.

Q: What do the New York Yankees and lawn furniture have in common?
A: They both fold in October.

Q: Which ex-Yankee player do you need to take fishing with you?
A: A-Rod

Q: Why is Halloween the New York Yankees favorite holiday?
A: It’s the only thing they have to do in October.

Q: How are the New York Yankees like a grizzly bear?
A: Every October, they go into hibernation.

Q: Why doesn’t the New York Yankees baseball team have a website?
A: They don’t know how to string three W’s together.

Q: Why doesn’t Buffalo have a professional baseball team?
A: Because New York City would want one too.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Let’s Phillip the bases and score some points.

Q: What does Aaron Boone and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver at night.

Q: How often do Yankee players call each other during the off-season?
A: They touch base every once in a while.

Q: Why did the New York Yankees players cry when they lost?
A: They’re a bawl club.

Q: What does Aaron Boone (Yankees manager) and Alex Trebek have in common?
A: Both of their jobs are in Jeopardy.

Q: How did Luis Severino pitch a winning baseball game without throwing a ball?
A: He only threw strikes.

Q. Why do ducks fly over Yankee Stadium upside down?
A. There’s nothing worth looking at.

Q: Why did Aaron Judge bring a pacifier to the game?
A: He wanted to play like the Babe.

Yankees Riddle: Didi Gregorius leaves home, makes a left turn, another left, and then another left before going home again. When he gets home he finds two men in masks waiting for him! Who are they? Answer: They are the catcher and the umpire.

Q: What do you call the winning team at Yankees home game?
A: Visitors.

Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play for the New York Yankees?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did the New York Yankees fan do when his team won the World Series?
A: Turned off his Xbox.

Q: Who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A: Aaron Boone – manager of the New York Yankees baseball team

Q: How do you know when a Yankees pitcher is having a bad day on the mound?
A: When the crowd starts to sing “Take Him Out of The Ball Game.”

Q: What can you do just as well as a New York Yankees player?
A: Watch the World Series live on TV.

Q: What rule did the zebra umpire have to explain to the Yankees?
A: Three stripes and you’re out.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball.

Q: What do you call 40 rich people sitting around a TV to watch the World Series?
A: The New York Yankees.

Q: Why did the NY Yankees shut down their website?
A: They weren’t getting any hits.

Q: What’s the difference between a Fenway Park hot dog and a Yankee Stadium hot dog?
A: Yankee Stadium hot dogs are still being sold in October.

Q: Why is Masahiro Tanaka such a good singer?
A: Because he has a perfect pitch.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bass.
Bass who?
Bass-ball is my favorite sport.

Q: What did Aaron Hicks do when the coach said to steal second?
A: He grabbed the base and took it home.

Q: Which New York Yankees player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!

Q: When should New York Yankees players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.

Q: Why does it take Gleyber Torres longer to run from 2nd base to 3rd base than from 1st base to 2nd base?
A: Because there is a short stop in the middle.

Q: Where shouldn’t a New York Yankees pitcher ever wear red?
A: In the bull pen.

Q: Which cartoon character was Aaron Boone trying to get on the team?
A: Homer Simpson.

Q: Why is Aaron Boone like an angry chicken?
A: They both have fowl mouths.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Howey who?
Howey run so fast to first base?

Q: Why did the Luis Severino go to the car dealer?
A: He wanted to learn a sales pitch.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: Which vegetable was a famous Yankees pitcher during the 1930’s?
A: SPUD Chandler

Q: What do you get when you cross a tree with a New York Yankees baseball player?
A: Babe Root.

Q: How is the New York Yankees roster similar to a pancake?
A: They both need good batters.

Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: The New York Yankees.

Q: How do New York Yankees fans get down from the bleachers?
A: They don’t – you can only get down from a goose.

Q: How do New York Yankees baseball players stay cool?
A: By sitting next to the fans.

Q: What does Gary Sanchez put his food on?
A: Home plate.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the baseball!

Q: What is harder for Aaron Hicks to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!

Q: Did you hear the joke about the New York Yankees baseball?
A: It will leave you in stitches.

Q: What did the New York Yankees think about their new stadium lights?
A: They gave it GLOWING reviews.

Q: What song do Yankees fans sing before the bottom of the ninth inning?
A: None… the fans have already left by then!

Q: Why do New York Yankees go out of state when they need new uniforms?
A: They have to get them from New Jersey.

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