New Year Jokes

If you’re looking for funny New Year’s jokes, then you’ve found them.

This is the best collection of Happy New Year jokes to tell on New Year’s Eve anywhere.

These New Year jokes are clean and safe for all ages – including children. These one liners, knock-knock jokes and riddles are great for parents, teachers, party givers and anyone else looking to share some laughs as they ring in the new year.

For added fun at a New Year Eve party, write some of these jokes on small pieces of paper, stick them inside balloons and blow them up. Guests can pop balloons and tell the jokes. Fun for Kids at your party!

New Year’s Eve Jokes

Q: Why do you need a jeweler on New Years Eve?
A: To ring in the new year.

Q: Why are there so many vampires out on New Year’s Eve?
A: For Old Fangs Time

Q: Where is New Years Eve so Mathematical?
A: Times Square

Q: What’s the official snack food of New Years?
A: Dick Clark Bar

Q: What happened to the iPhone bully on New Year’s Eve?
A: It was charged with battery.

Q: What happened to the fireworks who were arrested on New Years Eve?
A: They were let off.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do you say to someone when you see them after after the ball drops on New Year’s?
A: I haven’t seen you since last year!

Q: Why shouldn’t you go jogging on New Years Eve?
The ice falls out of your punch.

Q: What do comedians spend alot of time doing on New Years Eve?
A: Waiting for a punchline.

Q: What does a Ghost say on January 1st?
A: Happy BOO year!

Q: What’s the best thing about New Year’s Eve?
A: No more Christmas Carollers!

Q: What do cows do on December 31st?
A: Celebrate Moo Years Eve.

Q: Why did the boy have to go to the doctor on New Year’s Day?
A: Too many punches.

Q: What did the farmer give his wife on New Years Eve?
A: Hogs and kisses.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby new year!

Q: What happened to the person who stole a calendar on New Year’s Eve?
A: He got 12 months.

Q: What’s the best New Years resolution?
A: 1080p.

Q: What did the dog say on New Year’s?
A: Woof.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What should you never eat on New Year’s Eve?
A: Fire Crackers.

Q: Why do so many people smile in December?
A: It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Q: What does a monster say on New Years?
A: Happy New Fear!

Q: Why does the person who runs Time’s Square on New Year’s feel like a failure?
A: He always drops the ball.

Q: What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?
A: Happy New Cheer!

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